FanHouse John Calipari

The roll call of eye-popping scores began with the start of the college basketball season. And there's a chance they won't slow down soon, for an important reason: this time, the names on the front of the jerseys tell less of a story than the names on the back.

The opening week's finals look like someone's idea of a joke. The opening acts, in exhibition season, should have warned everybody: LeMoyne 82, Syracuse 79, and Georgia Tech 84, Indiana (Pa.) 76 in overtime. Then, when the games counted: Texas-San Antonio 62, Iowa 50. Cornell 71, Alabama 67. Wofford 60, Georgia 57. Rider 88, Mississippi State 74. Cal State-Fullerton 68, UCLA 65 in two overtimes.

None of that includes Kentucky 72, Miami of Ohio 70, in Game Two of the John Calipari Era in Lexington; if not for freshman John Wall's heroics in, literally, the final second, that era would have been a carbon-copy of the start of the now-infamous Billy Gillispie Era (loss at home to Gardner-Webb in his second game).

When John Calipari accepted the Kentucky coaching job, he warned that there are no easy solutions in college basketball. At the time, it was like telling a state full of lottery winners about the value of sound investment strategies.

Thank Miami University for proving your point, Coach.

And thank John Wall for reminding Wildcats fans just why they were so darn excited in the first place.

Wall scored 19 points, including the biggest two of the season, a 15-foot jumper with less than a second left that lifted the No. 4 Wildcats to a 72-70 win over the Redhawks, narrowly avoiding the first major upset of the college basketball season.

When John Calipari told an interviewer at the SEC's basketball media day last month, "These fans -- I'm saying this lovingly -- are nuts,'' he was being very narrow-minded. In the SEC, this season and the last few, why single out the fans?

The idea has been thrown around that the arrival of Calipari (and his history) at Kentucky (and its history) is going to suck all the attention toward them and away from the rest of the conference. Truth be told, this might not be a bad thing. The SEC might not lead Division I conferences in dysfunction, but it's near the top. Only three seasons ago, it was celebrating one of its programs, Florida, completing the rare feat of repeating as national champion. But literally from the moment the Gators made that official by winning the 2007 title in Atlanta -- remember, coach Billy Donovan spent much of the postgame interviews fending off speculation that he was going to take over at, yes, Kentucky -- the SEC has been the home of constant chaos.

Half of the league's 12 schools have changed coaches since then, three this season; two newcomers, at Alabama and Georgia, follow coaches who departed in midseason, making Kentucky, which fired Billy Gillispie and hired Calipari, an isle of calm by comparison.

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Oh, the uber-talented guard is practicing and with the Wildcats and impressing all who see John Wall play. It's just that the NCAA has suspended him for the first two games. Well, an exhibition and the season opener. So it is more like 1.5 games. Wall will miss the exhibition game against NAIA Campbellsville on Monday, November 2. He will also miss the season opener with Morehead State. That means his debut will be on November 16 against Miami (Ohio).

Wall's eligibility was called into question because his AAU coach/adviser/future entourage and hanger-on Brian Clifton had also been failing to be an NBA agent while Wall was being recruited as a high school junior. Clifton had helped pay for some of Wall's travel expenses for unofficial visits to schools. Wall also has to repay Clifton almost $800.

Somehow, Kentucky should be able to find a way to get past those first two opponents without Wall.

The punishment never seemed to fit the crime when the NCAA decided to erase Memphis' entire 2007-08 Final Four season because star point guard Derrick Rose allegedly committed academic fraud by not taking the SAT college admission test himself.

Even with no solid proof Rose didn't take the exam and certainly no evidence Memphis played any part in the alleged fraud, the NCAA still took away all 38 of the Tigers' wins.

On Thursday, Memphis filed an appeal of the sanctions according to a story in the Memphis Commercial Appeal.

"The University of Massachusetts Club reflects the diversity, professional character, and camaraderie among distinguished alumni, and their pride and passion for the University.''

So says the welcome page on the website of the Boston-based private members-only club, consisting of "alumni, faculty, staff and friends'' of UMass.

And as far as the club is concerned, there's no need to edit that statement or re-consider its definition of "professional character'' or "distinguished'' based on who it was scheduled to honor Friday evening: John Calipari.

Is it me, or is the bluegrass spiked with cannabis? In Louisville, there stood Casanova Rick Pitino, lambasting the media for reporting "a total fabrication of the truth" when, in truth, he lived an extraordinary lie for years and didn't reveal his sin -- having unprotected sex with a woman in a restaurant -- until his legal mess required it. In Lexington, you have Long John Calipari, earning a record $31.65 million to coach the Kentucky Wildcats after fleeing another scandal in a career filled with them.

And on a highway in Lawrenceburg, there was Billy Clyde Gillispie, Calipari's deposed predecessor, so intoxicated according to a police report that his speech was slurred, his eyes were red and glassy and he had trouble opening the glove compartment of his 2009 Mercedes to retrieve his insurance card. "He was confused about how to unlock the vehicle and took several tries to unlock the glove box," the report said of Gillispie, who spent the wee hours Thursday in Franklin County jail after his DUI arrest.

Short of castration or 365 days of steel-lock confinement with Dick Vitale and Digger Phelps, I'm not really sure what the option was. The NCAA settled on the fairest possible discipline for the academic-fraud case involving Derrick Rose and the University of Memphis, punishing those who were involved by white-outing them from history while having mercy on the innocent who now inherit the wreckage.

New Memphis basketball coach Josh Pastner was bracing for anything, but hoping for the worst as he, along with all the Tigers faithful, awaited Thursday's NCAA ruling on a two major infractions.

Pastner was able to let loose a sigh of relief Thursday afternoon once the NCAA Committee on Infractions ruling was official. The Memphis Tigers program was ordered to vacate its 38-win Final Four season under John Calipari and the team is on three years probation, but the silver-lining in it all for Pastner was there are no sanctions for the current or future teams, meaning there is no postseason ban or reduction in scholarships.

"You hate to see anything like this happen in the sport you love to student-athletes, coaches, university officials, that's no fun for anybody," Pastner told FanHouse Thursday. "But for us, the current and future of the program, there are so many positives to look forward to. Nothing inhibits us from competing at the highest level and having an opportunity to win at the highest level and compete for the best student-athletes in the country."

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Memphis has been stripped by the NCAA of every victory in its 38-win season under coach John Calipari that ended in the national title game last year. The reason: an ineligible player believed to be Derrick Rose.

The announcement Thursday came 16 months after the Tigers lost to Kansas in the championship game following the 2007-08 season. School officials were expected to discuss the report later in the day.

It is the second time both Memphis and Calipari had to vacate Final Four seasons. The Tigers were stripped of their 1985 appearance and Calipari's Massachusetts team lost its 1996 berth.

Calipari is now the head coach at Kentucky, where officials have voiced support for him despite the Memphis scandal.