FanHouse John Gruden

Every Monday during college football's endless offseason, The FanHouse Walk will put last week's stories to bed and deliver the essentials to bridge that agonizing space between now and September.

Was He Even Alive Then? -- Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin dove back to the pre-disco era in describing his football team after a recent scrimmage. "I feel like we're in the '60s right now with our offense. We've got to run the ball and throw play-action right now. That's about all we can do. It's pretty scary right now."

Mercifully football has moved beyond '60s era mundanity, but Tennessee fans might welcome '60s results as the Vols snagged two SEC championships over the decade.

In the past 48 hours, it's been hard not to be giddy about the Baltimore Ravens and their chances this season. After all, when you take your season opener on the road by a 27-0 score against a team that made the playoffs just a year before. Getting overconfident after a win like that one is a real danger. And that danger isn't waning at all going into Week Two, as the feeble Oakland Raiders come to Baltimore next Sunday for the Ravens home opener.

When it comes to last night's Monday Night Football nightcap from Oakland, all we can hope is that the team went to bed early in order to guard against overconfidence. Going into this season, the Raiders have only won 13 games over the three seasons since they lost the Super Bowl to John Gruden's Tampa Bay Bucs. In the course of suffering a 27-0 shutout at home at the hands of the San Diego Chargers, the Raiders yielded nine sacks and only gained 129 yards of total offense. New Raiders quarterback Aaron Brooks was yanked in favor of unknown Andrew Walter and inactive wideout Jerry Porter was spied reportedly cheering during one Brooks sack from the sideline in street clothes.

With LaDanian Tomlinson racking up 131 yards on the ground, Chargers quarterback Phillip Rivers only threw the ball 11 times -- he might as well have been playing quarterback for an old Nebraska team. On the Raiders side of the ball, starting halfback LaMont Jordan only managed 20 yards on 10 carries -- making his decision to leave the Jets for Oaktown now that Curtis Martin's career is effectively over look like an incredible mistake.

You never want to say you feel sorry for another man, but that's just how I feel about Raiders head coach Art Shell right now. I just saw a clip of him in a news conference answering questions about the Porter story, and the man looked beaten down by life -- and it's not even Week Two!

And did I mention that Randy Moss says that the situation in Oakland is "fishy"? And this from a man who has been nothing but a model citizen in his year plus in Oakland. How much do you think he wishes he never left Minnesota?

I'll be in the crowd in Baltimore on Sunday for my first home opener since 2004, and I'm sure my homies are going to be out for blood. No matter how the Ravens might be playing, they have one of the best home crowds in the entire league, and they're sure to be amped up come Sunday afternoon. With the Raiders coming up, and a weak Browns team on deck for Week Three, it's hard not to get excited if you're wearing purple these days.

Here's a story from the Baltimore Sun that should go straight to Deadspin: Ravens head coach Brian Billick asking fans to inform on his players if they see any of them having a beer before Sunday's game against the Buccaneers:

"You got to account for the heat, and it's more than 100 degrees. It's the humidity," Billick said. "There's a lot [the players] got to do. They got to get a lot of rest and no alcohol. That last one I need help. If anybody sees any of my players having a beer between now and Saturday, I want to hear about it."

What the Jamison Hensley story doesn't tell you is that right after Billick said that, he added, "God my emails are going to be something. Good lord." For the video evidence, go to the Ravens Playbook Media Center, launch the player, and select the clip slugged Head Coach Brian Billick 9/7/06. It's as if Billick suddenly understood the import of what he just said, and realized that he couldn't take it back.

So if you live in Baltimore, or are perhaps traveling with the team to Tampa, don't forget to pack your camera phones. Billick will thank you.

POSTSCRIPT: And be sure to read the original story in the Sun, as Jon Gruden gets in a crack about global warming.

UPDATE: The Purple Curtain thinks Billick needs to treat his players like adults.