FanHouse JohnSmoltz

Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

I had no idea I had these kinds of powers. Just one day after I made Johnny Cueto one of the headliners for All-Star Game snubs, he took the ball against the Philadelphia Phillies. The result was an absolute massacre, the likes of which we rarely -- if ever -- see from a starting pitcher. This outing so was horrifying it scared the hell out of Ugly.

The line? 49 pitches, 5 hits, 3 walks, 2 home runs, 2 doubles, 9 earned runs ... all with just two recorded outs. Two.

Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

In yesterday's Rush, we mentioned that Gordon Beckham is heating up and that the power would come. As if right on cue, he posted a 4-2-3-2 line in the box score. That is 4 at-bats, 3 hits, 2 runs and 2 RBI, for those box score challenged. One of the hits was a home run. Beckham went through some predictable growing pains when he was first called up the majors, but he's since raised his on-base percentage to .353. His OPS is 1.396 in his last five games. It's time to keep your eyes on him in all fantasy leagues. There's a reason he was in the majors less than a year after he was drafted.

Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

By the looks of his season stats, you wouldn't know that Jordan Zimmermann has actually been one of the most dominant pitchers in the majors over the past month. We're talking a 1.90 ERA and a .198 batting average against. On that same note, Minnesota's Scott Baker is holding opposing hitters to a .205 average over his last five starts. The turnaround of these pitchers teach fantasy owners an important lesson about staying patient and swooping in when the time is right.

WASHINGTON -- "We have too many Johns on this team," cracked a heard, but not seen, Red Sox player as a horde of media crowded around John Smoltz's locker the day before his first major league start of 2009.

There is (Jon) Lester, the once and future ace. There is (Jonathan) Papelbon, one of the best closers in the game. And Thursday evening in the nation's capital, for the first time there will be (John) Smoltz, the future Hall of Famer trying to reinvent himself one more time as he makes his 2009 debut.

"This is not the old, or the new, or the done," Smoltz said of his return to a major league pitching mound. "This is just a new chapter of which when I have a baseball in my hand, I feel like I can make a pitch and ... take the sting out of the bat."

Starting Five is our wrapup of the previous day's baseball action, with a quick nod to what is ahead.

You Oughta Know ...
That talk about maple bats has died down since last year, but the problem is still there. For proof, look at what nearly happened to Red Sox shortstop Nick Green during Wednesday night's game. The Nationals' Elijah Dukes shattered his bat on a swing, with the pieces of the bat and the ball heading simultaneously toward Green.

Green managed to avoid both. The ball got into the outfield for a hit, but the threat to Green was apparent when the shattered barrel of Dukes bat stuck in the ground like a stake near Green.

"It's scary to see a bat go flying that far," pitcher Jon Lester said. "I thought they did some research this offseason to try to figure that stuff out, but obviously we've still got a long ways to go. You've got to take cover. It's a tough play to make when you've got a bat head flying at you looking to take your head off."

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Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

I learned how to play fantasy sports 10 years ago from my stepdad, who's been playing it since the days when rotisserie baseball didn't even exist. Back when he was a teenager, it was called Strat-O-Matic, a simulation board game that seemed more laborious than fun to me. Then again, they also had fun flipping baseball cards instead of preserving them.

One of the first things he ever taught me about veteran players was the basic tenet of: "Look on the back of the baseball card." Sure, there are outliers, but seeing career statistics is comforting, and can often tell you a lot about a batter's peak performance.

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MLB Power Rankings: Where MLB FanHouse's editors, writers and bloggers team up to break down the who's who and the what's what in the baseball world.

Sorry for the delay, kiddos, on the Power Rankings. I'm sure you spent the entirety of Wednesday wondering "WHERE IN GOD'S NAME ARE THEY??? WITHOUT THEM I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO BANTER SENSELESSLY ABOUT TO MY CO-WORKERS!!!1" Or something like that. Either way, it's time to debate the worthlessness of your favorite baseball team in numerical form once again. Do enjoy.

Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

Matt Garza is one of those talented pitchers that novice owners probably lost patience with quickly. And if they did, they were watching Thursday's spectacular performance kicking themselves. Garza, who had struggled with his command through his first four starts, took a perfect game bid into the seventh inning against the Red Sox and finished with a line worthy of adulation: 7 2/3 innings, 10 strikeouts, 1 hit, 1 walk, no runs. Has he turned the corner that quickly?

The picture (right) of John Smoltz in a non-Braves jersey looks awfully weird, but we still haven't seen it in a regular season game. The wait will continue, because he's having some small issues in his surgically repaired right shoulder, and he will be shut down completely for a week.

It's not like the Red Sox are starved for help right now, considering they've won 12 of their last 13 games, but they have had some starting rotation holes. Daisuke Matsuzaka is on the disabled list and Brad Penny has had two awful outings. Fortunately, this setback isn't serious, according to Red Sox manager Terry Francona.

Starting Five is our wrapup of the previous day's baseball action, with a nod to what's ahead.

You Oughta Know ...
That Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler had a pretty good night, rolling all sorts of rare feats into one ballgame. The headline is that he hit for the cycle, the first Rangers player to do that since Gary Matthews Jr. on Sept. 13, 2006.

He also had six hits, the first Rangers player to do that since Alfonso Soriano on May 8, 2004, but that was a 10-inning game. So Kinsler is the first in team history to have six knocks in a nine-inning game.

Now, the big one: Kinsler is the first player in major league history to have six hits in a game in which he hit for the cycle.