Whatever, the organization that continually strives for mediocrity continues to fall woefully short. Which is why we've decided to distract ourselves from the putridity by creating a roster of non-football-playing professional athletes who would immediately make the Browns better. That's not hyperbole.
Major League Baseball announced the winners of its prestigious awards this week; now, FanHouse is following suit. We voted on winners in five categories (MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year, Draft Day Bargain, Draft Day Bust), the results of which are revealed below. Remember, this awards show deals strictly in fantasy baseball. I'll also throw in a few awards I'm personally doling out for performances that made the 2009 season what it was.
Footprints in the Snow is FanHouse's look at the paths to be forged by MLB teams this winter as they look ahead to 2010.
For the Texas Rangers, 2009 was a rousing success of a transition year. The team who used to simply try to outscore you altered their mindset. They put more of an emphasis on pitching and defense, and it paid off. They dropped down from first to seventh in runs scored in the AL, but the team ERA climbed from last (14th) to eighth. Their defense went from one of the worst in baseball to being considered one of the best.
The result was a huge step forward in the one stat that really matters for Ron Washington and his troops: they won 87 games, which was the most for the Rangers since 2004. Expect the growth to continue as the Rangers are loaded with young talent. The only problems could be money (more on that later) and the fact that their division is going to be really strong for the foreseeable future. But, hey, to be the best, you gotta beat the best.
From the Windup is Matt Snyder's weekly look at some aspect of America's pastime.
Instead of handing our hardware to Joe Girardi, Joe Torre, Albert Pujols, Joe Mauer, Zack Greinke and Chris Carpenter (yes, those would be my votes), I thought we'd mix it up a bit. Plus, being a Cubs fan, I'm plenty filled with negativity at this time of the year -- which, really, is normal. So these are the Bizarro World Awards. The Suck Awards, if you will. The envelopes, please ...
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
Before the season started, I was rough on Derrek Lee. I named him the biggest bust on the Cubs for this coming season and included him on the list of "five guys to lose" your fantasy league. I even predicted Mike Fontenot would hit more home runs than Mr. Lee. Obviously, it sounds outlandish now, in hindsight, as Lee clubbed his 35th home run Tuesday night. In the process, he established a new career high in RBI with 109. His OPS is the second-highest it's ever been -- trailing only his insane 2005 season when he did an Albert Pujols impersonation.
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
While the majority of the American workforce got a day off on Labor Day, some major league hitters were getting their power stroke on in a big way. With only 11 games on the docket, four players left the yard twice in one game: Derrek Lee, Billy Butler, Mark Teixeira and Juan Uribe. The fantasy fallout isn't huge, save for one; Lee's having a resurgence, Butler a breakout campaign and Teixeira an MVP-caliber season. Uribe, though ... that's news.
Starting Five is our wrapup of the previous day's baseball action with a quick nod to what is ahead.
You Oughta Know ... That the Rays left their magic in 2008.
Fading Tampa Bay wasted a dazzling major league debut by Wade Davis, who allowed one run and struck out nine over seven innings, in a crushing 5-3 loss to the Tigers.
Davis' pitching helped the Rays carry a 3-1 lead into the ninth inning, but then the bullpen came unraveled. Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon used five relievers in the ninth, three of whom -- Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell and Russ Springer -- failed to record an out in succession.
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
On Thursday in Philadelphia, one of the game's best pitchers from years past squared off against arguably the game's best pitcher of today. Who would win the battle of old versus new? It turns out fantasy owners were the big winners.
Tim Lincecum struck out 11 batters, which isn't even close to a season high for the kid, and walked one over seven innings while allowing two runs, but all that got him was a loss.
Pedro Martinez, making his fifth start with the Phillies, moved to 3-0 on the strength of a nine-strikeout, no-walk performance. He threw 62 of his 87 pitches for strikes and looked completely dominant after a first-inning homer by Eugenio Velez.
All three teams faced near must-win games Wednesday, and all came through -- late.
Chicago, which would have fallen eight games out in the AL Central and 4 1/2 behind second-place Minnesota, rallied against Twins closer Joe Nathan with four runs in the ninth for a 4-2 victory.
"Hopefully we start playing better and have a little more fun, at least have a little more fun," [Sox manager Ozzie] Guillen said. "You think we're out [of post-season contention]. People think we're out, just go out there and enjoy it. Hopefully things turn around."
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
When you select Carlos Pena in fantasy baseball, you know you aren't getting batting average help. Still, his career-low .223 mark this year was well below expectations, and up until August 5, the power numbers weren't nearly high enough to console disappointed Pena owners.
Well, that has all changed. Since that date, Pena has slugged 11 home runs and driven home 22. His average has been respectable (.286) and his OPS is ridiculous (1.307). On the season, Pena now has a six home run lead on the rest of the AL with 37. He's also third in RBI (91).
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Starting Five
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Starting Five
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
