Whatever, the organization that continually strives for mediocrity continues to fall woefully short. Which is why we've decided to distract ourselves from the putridity by creating a roster of non-football-playing professional athletes who would immediately make the Browns better. That's not hyperbole.
Footprints in the Snow is FanHouse's look at the paths to be forged by MLB teams this winter as they look ahead to 2010.
Since the moment they were swept out of the 2007 NLCS, the Diamondbacks have been waiting. Waiting on their impressive collection of young talent. Waiting on their dynamic rotation duo of Dan Haren and Brandon Webb to deliver a playoff spot. Waiting for everything to come together.
It hasn't happened yet. Arizona was passed by the Dodgers in late 2008 after holding the NL West lead for much of the season. Then, this past year -- one filled with calamity, including a major shoulder injury to Webb that limited him to one start -- saw the Diamondbacks dip all the way to last place.
Arizona is still waiting. There is still promising young talent on hand, including the terrific Justin Upton. There is still hope. It's just tempered by all the work that needs to be done to get the Diamondbacks back in contention.
Major League Baseball announced the winners of its prestigious awards this week; now, FanHouse is following suit. We voted on winners in five categories (MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year, Draft Day Bargain, Draft Day Bust), the results of which are revealed below. Remember, this awards show deals strictly in fantasy baseball. I'll also throw in a few awards I'm personally doling out for performances that made the 2009 season what it was.
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
Don't blame yourself if you didn't see a big line coming from Trevor Cahill. Coming off a three-inning, three-run game in Chicago, Cahill had to travel to Texas to take on a pretty good offense. On Wednesday, this offense was without Michael Young and Josh Hamilton, but that still left the hot Julio Borbon (.323 BA coming into the game) and Elvis Andrus (coming off a 16-game hitting streak), starsIan Kinsler and Nelson Cruz, and other players that have been hot over the course of September.
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
The ugly pitching line from Monday night shouldn't have been a huge shock to Jarrod Washburn fantasy owners. He went 5 2/3 innings, giving up 9 hits, 8 earned runs, 3 walks and 2 home runs. He struck out just 2. While it was his worst outing for the Tigers, he's been flat-out awful in Motown since he was acquired at the trade deadline. Sure, there was an 8-inning gem where he didn't allow a run. He also mixed in a quality start last time out for his first win in Detroit. Other than that, it's been horrifying.
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
While it was just one game, Cole Hamels sure looked like he was back in vintage form.
The Phillies ace, who is rocking a 4.52 ERA and 1.34 WHIP this season, threw eight shutout innings in Pittsburgh on Wednesday, striking out seven batters in all. Hamels actually has been better than his ERA and WHIP indicate, as he now has 126 Ks versus just 33 BBs this season. I'll take that K/BB ratio from my pitcher any day, as nine times out of ten, the ERA and WHIP will be sparkling.
Unfortunately for Hamels, the ninth inning ended up being the most dramatic frame of the game.
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
The Nationals of all teams are the hottest club in baseball. They've won five straight games, scoring no fewer than five runs in each of their six games in August. Mike MacDougal recorded saves in four of those five wins, but the real hero in Washington is Ryan Zimmerman.
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
Nearly a month ago, we ran out a roundtable on Jimmy Rollins, advising you to trade for the underperforming shortstop. Well, his struggles seem like a distant memory now. Rollins is not only back, he's one of the hottest middle infielders in fantasy baseball. Oh, and he's also one funny dude (great Dick's commercial if you've never seen it).
Just how hot is J-Roll? Let's go to the statistical tape ...
Starting Five is our wrapup of the previous day's baseball action with a quick nod to what is ahead.
You Oughta Know ... That the Phillies are going to have a tough decision on their hands. J.A. Happ and Pedro Martinez, headed for a course to occupy the same spot in the Philadelphia rotation, both made strong statements on Wednesday night.
Happ pitched a four-hit shutout against the Rockies, while Martinez struck out 11 in six innings for the Phillies' Double-A team. The Phillies signed Martinez a few weeks ago and have had him working his way into big-league shape in the minors. Since the Phillies got Martinez, they also acquired Cliff Lee, leaving six pitchers -- including Cole Hamels, Joe Blanton and Jamie Moyer -- fighting for five spots.
Phillies manager Charlie Manuel wasn't ready to address a problem that's not a problem until Martinez is deemed ready for the bigs.
"Let me answer that later on," Manuel said. "I don't feel like getting into that."
Footprints in the Snow
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Poppin' out of the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Starting Five
