FanHouse Kelly Ripa

"Wait, what did you say my name was?"

Before you read tonight's non-tangential Dugout (not to be confused with tonight's non-tanned-genital Dugout, which is about Jose Canseco), make sure you read R&B star Eamonn Brennan's servicing of Kelly Ripa pulling Merkle-esque boner on Live with Regis and Kelly. For you see, Mike Schmidt's last name may be easily mispoken as the waste matter discharged from the intestines through the anus. Don't look at me, I had no idea either until I watched that video.

The video is not S for W, but thanks to the magic of asterisks you should be able to read the transcript of what went down by clicking below. I would like to say in advance that I have nothing against Kelly Ripa and she seems like a fine woman, and the cuter you are, the easier it is for you to use the colloquial form of "doodie" on daytime television without repurcussion. I would also like to say that the people I can remember from the show "Channel One" really date me.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

Most discussions of steroids begin with the premise that using steroids is always bad. But today on Live with Regis and Kelly, of all places, there was a discussion with a decidedly different twist:

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa were discussing their own use of cortisone -- which is a steroid, but not an illegal anabolic steroid. Philbin then said, "But steroids have gotten a bad rap. I mean, boy, oh boy, everybody's condemning them and you're not allowed to have them.

When Ripa tried to draw a distinction between medical use of steroids and illegal use of anabolic steroids to build muscle, Philbin said, "What's wrong with that? What is wrong with that?" He then added, "I like having 'roid rage. I think it's funny."

Our nation has become so fanatical in its war on steroids that I'm sure Philbin is going to be criticized for such comments, but I'd like to see more such questions asked. If people want to use steroids to make their muscles bigger and stronger, why is it the government's job to stop them?