FanHouse KennethDarby

For those who may use a different term or are new to fantasy football, "handcuff" is the term used when you own insurance for one of your players in the form of owning his real-life backup. It's usually a running back, but you could conceivably handcuff a quarterback. The theory is that some or all of the production is automatically replaced should you lose a high draft pick to injury, meaning you need to insure a high draft pick by grabbing his backup.

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During yesterday's CBS Pregame Show, Charley Casserly's wig made its usual appearance to discuss news from around the league. It was the typical fare: so-and-so is on the hot seat, whatshisname could get make bank this offseason, blah blah blah.

But then Casserly busted out this gem: in the wake of referee Jeff Triplette getting helped to his face during last week's Bills-Jets game, there have been discussions about how to make officials safer as they wade through 22 muscle-bound meatheads for three hours every Sunday.

One possibility: equipping umpires (the poor souls who stand just behind the inside linebackers before the snap and are often target practice anytime the ball makes its way to the middle of the field) with helmets. Seriously. Casserly opines that either a baseball helmet (the two-ear-flap Mark Lemke special) or maybe even a football helmet could be part of the required uniform in 2009.

Fantastic.

I get the whole safety issue because, well, a 250-pound, 20-something linebacker running through a 180-bound, 60-year-old accountant working his part-time gig can be pretty dangerous. But the thought of some old-timer lining up in a full-on officials uniform WITH a football helmet seems ridiculous. It's hard enough to take them seriously when they're just wearing a striped shirt and baseball pants. Adding a helmet probably won't help.

Whatever comes of this, I'm guessing Garth DeFelice won't be donning a helmet anytime soon. The photo above shows DeFelice Deebo-ing the Rams' Kenneth Darby, and if you're into the whole moving-pictures thing, here ya go:

During today's Rams-49ers game, St. Louis running back Kenneth Darby was tackled by Garth DeFelice:

No, DeFelice doesn't play for the 49ers, he was the umpire in the game. But with Darby coming at him, DeFelice delivered a forearm shiver, reminiscent of the hit that umpire Wilbur Hackett Jr., put on South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia in October.

The official play-by-play at NFL.com says 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis made the tackle. That, however, is not what happened.

Steven Jackson is easily the best player the Rams have, when healthy. Of course, he's not healthy at this point, as evidenced by his lackluster at best performance Sunday. Apparently he wasn't as confident as he led everyone to believe leading up to the game.

When the Rams' offense trotted out for their first series of the day Sunday, Jackson was in the huddle. But before the Rams broke the huddle for their first play, Antonio Pittman had replaced Jackson. What happened?

With his strained right thigh muscle not 100 percent, Jackson said he wasn't comfortable running the play once he heard the call.

"The play call was really more of an outside play, a cutback play," (Jim) Haslett said. "He didn't think he was ready for that play. ... It kind of caught everybody off guard."

The entire backfield was in flux for the game, as Antonio Pittman and Travis Minor also suffered injuries. The Rams offense was handcuffed at that point. They had Jackson and Pittman fight through injuries, but they really couldn't advance the ball via the ground as a team.

Steven Jackson is easily the best player the Rams have, when healthy. Of course, he's not healthy at this point, as evidenced by his lackluster at best performance Sunday. Apparently he wasn't as confident as he led everyone to believe leading up to the game.

When the Rams' offense trotted out for their first series of the day Sunday, Jackson was in the huddle. But before the Rams broke the huddle for their first play, Antonio Pittman had replaced Jackson. What happened?

With his strained right thigh muscle not 100 percent, Jackson said he wasn't comfortable running the play once he heard the call.

"The play call was really more of an outside play, a cutback play," (Jim) Haslett said. "He didn't think he was ready for that play. ... It kind of caught everybody off guard."

The entire backfield was in flux for the game, as Antonio Pittman and Travis Minor also suffered injuries. The Rams offense was handcuffed at that point. They had Jackson and Pittman fight through injuries, but they really couldn't advance the ball via the ground as a team.

Last week when Cadillac Williams' knee blew up in Charlotte, Buccaneers rookie running back Kenneth Darby said he was just biding his time, waiting for an opportunity.

"I hate to see Cadillac go down. He's a great player. I like to see him play every week. Like the saying goes, 'When opportunity presents itself, you need to jump on board and get it.' I feel like an opportunity presented itself, and I'm just going to try and take advantage of it."

If he's going to take advantage of an opportunity, now's the time. The Bucs just lost their their #2 running back, Michael Pittman, to a serious ankle sprain. He's out for up to two months.

That means Jon Gruden has only three running backs available -- Earnest Graham, Darby and fullback B.J. Askew. Graham appears likely to start at this point, but don't be surprised to see Darby get plenty of touches next week against Tennessee. The only real question for Graham and Darby at this point is whether Jeff Garcia will hand them the ball or pass it to them.

Oh, and be less surprised by the Ricky Williams rumors you hear in Florida this week, though the Bucs will probably talk to Eric Shelton again before they try to get football's favorite pothead.

"When we get out on the field, all that hollering about 'Fear the Thumb' will stop after the first play when we hit them on the mouth."

Ah, through the mouths of babes. That piece of divine wisdom is courtesy of Alabama fullback Le'Ron McClain. My question is, when has McClain hit anything... a running lane?... an opponent?... the end-zone? And this is from a fullback. That's barely a step up from a punter.

If my tailback was Kenneth Darby, I'd keep my mouth shut. Le'Ron obviously hasn't done his job this year. His offense hasn't sniffed the goal line when he's been in the game. It hasn't sniffed the goal line period.

It seems that the Alabama players are having a hard time handling all this, "Fear the Thumb" talk. So much so, that they've already started writing checks that their talent can't cash.

Even Darby has gotten into the act. "I get angry when I hear that," said the Alabama tailback, who has a photo of Tuberville's four-finger salute hanging in his locker. "Everybody on this team feels that way. That's like disrespect and a slap in the face to us."