FanHouse KennyMayne

ESPN.com's Bill Simmons is currently on his book tour (more on that here), but on Monday, he and his Beverly Hills mansion were featured on "Mayne Street."

Kenny Mayne has made a career out of his deadpanned quirkiness. That, along with the fact that Simmons doesn't have much of an acting resume, figured to make for an uncomfortable four or five minutes that included me wincing as Simmons stumbled through his lines while Mayne got all the laughs.

Didn't happen. In fact, Simmons stole the episode. Jenn with two n's, the Doug Christie Clippers jersey, Stacy Keibler calling Mayne "Lenny", business associate Scott -- all hilarious. Well, to everybody but Mike Francesa, who was railing about Simmons' performance on his radio show.

(UPDATE: "Mayne Street" segment, Francesa's comments,and Simmons' response all after the jump.)

She's the sports world's sports girl, and she may be coming at you from a completely different perspective if Erin Andrews can somehow get her way. Andrews, the darling sideline reporter for ESPN, admitted that she is interesting in appearing on "Dancing With the Stars."

I think we all can agree she's cuter than Kenny Mayne.

Dan Steinberg over at The Sporting Blog caught with Andrews and got some great stuff from the 31-year-old, including her admission to wanting a seat on DWTS in the future.

There's an abundance of news storming out of New York today regarding the Cowboys and the Giants matchup today. For starters, it's believed that a bunch of Cowboys *gasp* don't actually want Brad Johnson quarterbacking their team. Go figure.

But in vastly more important news, a box of Terrell Owens "I Love Me Some Me" t-shirts showed up at the Giants locker room for today's game, and Ed Werder reported on ESPN that most of the Giants believe it was TO himself that sent them.

This is, to make an understatement, pretty believable. After all, it's been said recently that the Giants and Cowboys aren't really friendly

"They hate us and we hate them," [Giants DE Justin Tuck] said in all seriousness.

Well then, I'm sure Tuck was just thrilled to find out that TO is shipping clothing items their way. And in true rivalry fashion, the Giants have already said they plan on making sure Owens is paid back.

Werder didn't have details of the specific action that would be dished out, but he did say that it would involved popcorn, long believed to be Owens favorite treat.

And yes, I do feel somewhat like Kenny Mayne reporting this, but it's not going to seem so sarcastic when Osi Umenyiora comes flying down onto the field, hooked up on a bungee cord, and starts dumping popcorn all over TO's chest. Then it'll just be funny.

Every time you think athletes are pampered, rich and famous, remember that "regular" celebrities are even more pampered and even more famous (rich is debatable). Take, for instance, the comparison of Chipper Jones and Kelly Clarkson.

To those of us who care deeply about athletics, Chipper is immensely famous. More so than Clarkson anyway. But to the rest of the world, Clarkson >>> Larry when it comes to fame. And she let him know it the other night too. From ESPN the Mag outtakes with Kenny Mayne via LBS:

KM: Do you get recognized everywhere you go by now?

CJ: Funny story about that. Last year I was at the Daytona 500 with a friend and Richard Childress. Kelly Clarkson, who had sung before the race, came into the room. She walked my way, looking at me like she knew who I was, so I started to put out my hand. Then she pulls out a camera and asks me to take a photo of her and her friends. My buddy lost it. I'm from Daytona, so everybody knows me there. I was so embarrassed that I just wanted to go get a beer. Boy, was I put out.

That's like the time I tried to talk to Fantasia when she was in High Point and she totally blew me off. ("But I blog for a living! What's not to get?") Only if I was a successful baseball player and she was still famous for her American Idol run.

In other words, embarrassing, yes, but big deal? Absolutely not. That's why Chipper's laughing about it in the back page of an overly dramatic sports mag.

With An Incomplete & Inaccurate History of Sport, ESPN's Kenny Mayne has written a book that perfectly encapsulates the wry, sardonic style that has made him consistently the best part of the Sunday NFL Countdown pregame show.

The book is ostensibly Mayne's commentary on every sport under the sun, from Australian rules football to yachting, but it's really just an excuse for Mayne to crack wise.

As on ESPN, his approach seems so far removed from what you'd expect from an ex-jock (Division I football and even have a brief stint with the Seattle Seahawks) that when I interviewed him on the phone last week, the first thing I wanted to know was whether what we see on TV and read in the book is just an act. My interview with him (and not to pimp the publicity materials, but a pretty low-tech-but-very-funny YouTube of a Mayne reading as well) below the jump.

Notes on a trip to the Super Bowl.

I talked to several ESPN employees this week who said they were looking forward to Kenny Mayne's final Mayne Event segment of the season on the pre-Super Bowl edition of NFL Countdown. Here it is:

In my opinion, Mayne is funnier than the other NFL pregame comedian, Fox's Frank Caliendo, although the above wasn't one of his funnier pieces. Everyone at ESPN seems proud to have Mayne as part of the Worldwide Leader's NFL coverage.

But here's my question: Is Mayne selling himself short by doing comedy? Mayne has the credentials to be a real, Xs and Os football analyst. He played quarterback at UNLV and was briefly under contract to the Seattle Seahawks. He knows how to read defenses and break down coverages and do the things that Ron Jaworski does.


If Mayne likes being known as the NFL Countdown funnyman, more power to him. But I'd love to see him keep the sense of humor while adding some solid, Jaws-style analysis.

Kenny Mayne is a comedic genius -- I can't remember ever seeing anything he's done on ESPN that I haven't enjoyed. And now he's writing a book, as he'll tell you himself:

It's possible that this is one of Mayne's strange jokes, as I can't find the book on Amazon. Deadspin reported yesterday on an ESPN internal memo that said Mayne had a number of responsibilities keeping him off SportsCenter. Maybe the book was one of them. If so, I look forward to reading it.

Hat tip: Awful Announcing.

The Home Run Derby is not perfect. It lasts too long, Chris Berman makes my ears want to bleed, most of the best players aren't participating, and the players all look really stupid in their team hats and All-Star warm-up jerseys. But you know what? No one's expecting perfect. Prince Fielder and Ryan Howard were both born for this kind of thing and they're here, along with one of the best hitters any of us may ever see (Albert Pujols, of course). There will be lots of home runs hit, there will be lots of people doing stupid things in boats, there will be a lot of fun had, and no one will try to make it more important than it really is. That can only mean one thing: live blog. Anyways, the whole thing kicks off at 8 PM and I'll be here, so follow along with the live updates after the jump.

I've already lamented the injustice that Eric Byrnes was left off the NL All-Star team in favor of Aaron Rowand. Manager Tony LaRussa recognized it was a difficult decision and said he wanted a true center fielder on his bench for defensive purposes. Whatever. Fear not fans, you still have the opportunity to watch Eric Byrnes at the All-Star game in San Francisco next week. From Larry Stewart's TV-Radio column at the LA Times:

Fox will have the Arizona Diamondbacks' Eric Byrnes in a kayak along with his pet bulldog Bruin during coverage of the All-Star game the next night. Fox notes that Byrnes, who is from the Bay Area and played for UCLA, is the first active player to work an All-Star game telecast - and that Bruin is the first pet to do so

Probably not the way Byrnes preferred to spend his Break, but he's never been one to shy away from the camera. And hey, let's look at the bright side here. Being in a kayak, at least he'll have an excuse for his messy hair. Stewart also notes that ESPN will have Kenny Mayne tooling around in McCovey Cove. Let's see, Byrnes and dog, or Kenny Mayne? I'll go with Byrnsie's coverage.

We're just getting warmed up here at the MLB FanHouse, but no baseball pre-season is complete without a look back at some of the best fights from baseball's recent and not-so-recent past.

And hey, with Kenny Mayne on the mic, it's just a waltz down memory lane. Enjoy.