Posts tagged Kyle Orton at FanHouse

Yup. This guy.

The Lindsay Lohan sweating an athlete thing isn't brand spanking earth shattering news. She's already discussed, in a rather profane manner, how attractive she thinks Michael Phelps is, and the now, she may or may not be infatuated with a certain Chicago Bears quarterback.

That's right, Kyle Orton, you are pretty, pretty, pretty attractive.

Also spied dancing with an attractive blonde at Crimson Lounge: new Bears quarterback Kyle Orton - dubbed ''super-hot" by Lohan, Ronson and Lauper, who all admired the NFL player's dance-floor moves.

It's hard to decide what's more amazing: that Orton has sick dance moves or that he's considered "super-hot" by a bunch of quasi celebrities, some of whom I can't name, and at least one of whom has been noted in the past as being a bit promiscuous.

Still, it's a pretty big couple of weeks for Orton. First he wins the Bears gig in a fierce battle of brilliant quarterbacks against Rex Grossman and now he's being stalked by Lohan? If the Bears can land a Marty Booker type for their second wideout spot, Orton = Easy Street.

I don't pretend to be able to judge how attractive a man is. It's tough trying to figure out what women want. I do, usually, think I can spot an ugly dude, though. It doesn't matter one bit to his football play -- which is quite ugly at times -- but Kyle Orton just seems like an ugly dude to me. It's probably because of presentation, sure, but that's how he's chosen to present himself ... with an odd-looking neck beard and an unidentifiable 'do.

Apparently, that's how Lindsay Lohan rolls. She and her gal pals want a piece of said neck beard, apparently:

Also spied dancing with an attractive blonde at Crimson Lounge: new Bears quarterback Kyle Orton -- dubbed ''super-hot'' by Lohan, Ronson and Lauper, who all admired the NFL player's dance-floor moves.

I guess if you still find Lohan appealing -- just pop in Mean Girls -- this should give hope to all men that they can attract a woman. I mean, check out the picture ... you can't tell me you leave your house in the morning thinking you look worse than that.

Finally, from a fidelity standpoint, I hope the "attractive blonde" was Orton's wife ... maybe she dyed it?

Arm bash: Brinson on MPS

Being a Bears fan, I figured I was in for at least a little bit of torture last night. The game was at home against the lowly Niners on Fox -- meaning Troy Aikman would contribute to the torture. Going into the game, one would reasonably expect the Bears offense to provide said torture, while the defense, Devin Hester, and Robbie Gould offered a reprieve.

Then the game started ... and we entered a whole new universe. Good was bad, up was down, day was night ...

For example:

- Kyle Orton was great. Sure the touch pass in the end-zone was too low and shallow, but he seems to have developed great game-relationships with Greg Olsen and Rashied Davis. Orton ended with quality numbers, but they should have been better. There were several dropped passes, including one by Davis that would have been his third TD.

- The offensive line provided solid protection for Orton, which was a huge bounce-back from the embarrassment in Seattle. They also opened up good enough holes for Matt Forte and Kevin Jones to combine for 74 yards on 14 carries. Forte ran very hard and shed several would-be tacklers.

- Dusty Dvoracek and Mike Brown appeared healthy and full-speed.

- Danieal Manning was stellar in the return game ... coming away with a 60-yarder and a 75-yarder that set up 10 first quarter points for the offense.

On the other hand ...

Looks like Bears fans can say goodbye to the Rex Grossman era. How was it for you? I count one NFC Championship, a myriad of injuries, and several thousand over-reactions both negative and positive by fans and media alike while riding the Rex roller-coaster. I also count him becoming overly stigmatized to the point that his confidence has been shattered privately, though publicly he's still rarely accountable for mistakes.

Enter the jack-drinking 10 yard-out-throwing weird-bearded kid from Purdue. Yes, Kyle Orton is a starting NFL QB. The offense is officially stagnant again, as Orton can't throw the deep ball. The defense can crowd the box to take away the run, and Devin Hester as a deep threat is nothing more than window dressing.

The front office's failure to address the QB situation in addition to not doing enough to improve the offensive line has put a serious cloud over the potential for the Bears to challenge the Packers, Vikings, and even Lions in the NFC North this season.

Of course, the defense and special teams can win a few games on their own. Maybe.

Looks like Bears fans can say goodbye to the Rex Grossman era. How was it for you? I count one NFC Championship, a myriad of injuries, and several thousand over-reactions both negative and positive by fans and media alike while riding the Rex roller-coaster. I also count him becoming overly stigmatized to the point that his confidence has been shattered privately, though publicly he's still rarely accountable for mistakes.

Enter the jack-drinking 10 yard-out-throwing weird-bearded kid from Purdue. Yes, Kyle Orton is a starting NFL QB. The offense is officially stagnant again, as Orton can't throw the deep ball. The defense can crowd the box to take away the run, and Devin Hester as a deep threat is nothing more than window dressing.

If anyone had the pleasure of watching the Seahawks first defense obliterate the Bears' pathetic offensive line Saturday night, you'll know why I put win in quotes in the title of this piece. The Vikings and Packers pass rush units have to be licking their chops at the chance to face this line twice during the regular season. It was an embarrassing display until the Seahawks called off the dogs.

Make no mistake about it, the Bears inability to effectively patch a decent offensive line together is going to kill any chance some of the talented, young skill players -- Devin Hester, Earl Bennett, Matt Forte, Greg Olsen, etc. -- have to show their stuff.

Now, speculation is rampant in the Chicago papers that Lovie Smith's demeanor and some of his statements are pointing towards Kyle Orton taking the starting job over Rex Grossman.

Some of the reasons provided are listed after the jump:

Looks like all Muhsin Muhammad did was say what everyone else is thinking. Only everyone else says it, too. The Bears QBs suck. Wow, that's quite an original thought, Moose. No one else is/has been saying that for the past fifteen years or so. Thanks for the revelation.

The statement would have a lot more credibility if it came from Bernard Berrian. You know, the guy that no one thought would be more than a speedy stretch-the-field slot receiver and instead became a very highly paid WR1 for the Minnesota Vikings in the off-season. Did he "go to die" in Chicago?

On the flip-side, you have Moose. He made more noise on the sidelines and in the locker room bitching than he did on the field producing. He lost his ability to gain separation and drops were routine. I suppose those two items fall squarely on the shoulders of Rex Grossman, Brian Griese, and Kyle Orton as well?

In response, the Bears weren't taking the bait ... though it seems like they wanted to:

Asked how Muhammad was as a teammate, Orton snapped, ''No comment.''

While Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton didn't do anything special enough to separate themselves in the race for the QB job no one wants, there may be a dark horse candidate emerging: undrafted rookie Caleb Hanie.

Anywhere else, and this would likely be a laughable proposition. With the futility most believe is contained in Grossman and Orton, though, there's a distinct possibility Hanie gets a look sometime this year. The Bears coaching staff is raving about Hanie's performance last Thursday night:

He finished Thursday completing 9 of 16 passes for 101 yards and a touchdown. None of his passes were sharper than the bullet between two defenders to Brandon Rideau for a 13-yard touchdown. Hanie also displayed more mobility than any other quarterback this preseason, tucking the ball for an 18-yard gain on a third-and-9 play.

"Did a nice job," offensive coordinator Ron Turner said of Hanie. "I was pleased with his poise, pleased with his composure. We've been pleased with him all camp.

"You never know how a guy is going to respond in a game. He was very relaxed, very poised."

Training camps are underway, the NFL season is a month off, and to get you ready for 2008, FanHouse previews all 32 teams, "heat index" style. We'll rate each club in 10 categories on a scale of 1 to 10, high score wins.

Quarterback: It's an open competition between Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton. Cue the laugh track. I'll try to be positive. In 2006, Grossman led the team to a 13-3 record and an NFC Championship to boot. He led the NFL in 100+ QB rating games (yes, I know he led in games below 40 and also had a zero rating once ... remember I was being positive), and threw for over 3000 yards with 23 TD passes for a running-and-defense team. Orton went 10-5 as a starter in the previous season with atrocious numbers (seriously, he didn't even throw for 2,000 yards or ten TDs in 15 games). Look for Grossman to start, unless the Bears want to completely take away the threat of Devin Hester. And they can't do that. Heat Index: 2

Chris Williams was drafted 14th overall by the Bears. They knew there were back issues, and as a matter of fact, many teams were scared off by these back issues. When the Bears took Williams, here's who was left on the board that could have helped them: Brandon Albert (yes, hurt now ... but he wasn't at the time and his injury happened in practice for KC ... the Bears draft him and a whole different set of circumstances enters the equation), Gosder Cherilus, Joe Flacco, Jeff Otah, Sam Baker, Felix Jones, Rashard Mendenhall, Chris Johnson ... okay, you get the point.

Low and behold, Williams hasn't really done much but jog in practice thus far, and he had surgery tonight.

What an abomination. Things surely can't get worse, can they?

To respond, the Bears could sign former Bears right tackle Fred Miller off the scrap heap, a desperate move, and subsequently return John Tait to the left side.

Oh, please God, no. I don't think I've ever seen a worse football player than the '07 version of Fred Miller in my thirty years on this Earth. That's not hyperbole. He's that bad. I actually tried to come up with a nickname like "the human penalty" or some creative spin on calling him a sieve or something the like. The problem is that nothing really does justice to how atrocious he is. When one of the worst O-Lines in football can't use you, something is wrong.