FanHouse Mark Dantonio

Below, former Buckeye Raymont Harris models the uniforms Ohio State will wear this weekend.
Your eyes don't deceive you. Raymont Harris still exists, and he's modeling the new throwback uniforms the Buckeyes will be wearing for this weekend's game at Michigan. This is where all you coastal and Southern types wonder aloud how anybody can tell if a Big Ten team is wearing a throwback uniform.

Of course, Columbus is the headquarters of Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria's Secret, The Limited, and a few other fashion-type retailers. You'd expect some swanky threads on the Buckeyes sooner or later. But what else is going on in less fashionable parts of the conference?

Money, it's been said, can't buy you happiness. It also can't guarantee a Top 25 football team either.

There are at least 31 head coaches in the BCS ranks that will earn more than $1.8 million this season, according to a salary study conducted by USA Today.

Of the nation's 31 highest-paid head college football coaches in America, only nine are currently coaching teams in this week's Associated Press Top 25 poll. That leaves 22 of the nation's 31 highest-paid coaches outside the AP Top 25.

Of those 22 coaches, five have a losing record this season -- Florida State's Bobby Bowden (4-5), Wake Forest's Jim Grobe (4-6), Virginia's Al Groh (3-6), Washington's Steve Sarkisan (3-6) and Maryland's Ralph Friedgen (2-7) -- and another is at .500 -- Michigan State's Mark Dantonio (5-5).

Four of the 22 coaches are in the cellar in their respective conferences -- Missouri's Gary Pinkel and Kansas' Mark Mangino (each tied for last in the Big 12 North), Michigan's Rich Rodriguez (tied for last in the Big 10) and Friedgen (tied for last in the ACC Atlantic).

Every Thursday, Pickin' on the Big Ten previews the weekend's games so Big Ten haters can get even more nervous.

I don't know if you've noticed, but the rest of the college football universe is sort of obsessed right now. They have a deep, lingering fear of Iowa winding up in the BCS Championship Game. That, to them, could only mean one of two things. The Hawkeyes could get blown out in a total snoozer. That would be bad. They could also win, which would be worse. Now what conference would they have to say is overrated? Their own?

Michigan State has its first two-game winning streak against Michigan for the first time since 1967, but the Spartans did not make it easy on themselves. Blowing a 20-6 lead with less than five minutes left in the game and needing overtime to get the win.

Michigan State's defense finally looked like a legitimate defense for most of the game. They completely held Tate Forcier and the Michigan offense in check for most of the game. While the Michigan State offense struggled at times in the first half, they began to wear down the Wolverine defense with a balanced attack along with some big miscues by Michigan. Especially a fourth-and-inches at the Michigan 16, where a fake punt failed badly.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten tries to make sense out of the upcoming weekend's games.

It was not supposed to be like this for Mark Dantonio and the Michigan State Spartans. Sure, they lost in the Capital One Bowl last season, but not by much, which is why many people tagged them as the Big Ten's third-best team going into this year. It was going to be hard to replace Brian Hoyer and Javon Ringer, but at long last things were looking up for Sparty.

Now, after a heart-shattering 1-3 start, things are still looking up, if only because "up" is the only direction left. Now it's time to pull the wreckage of this season out of the ditch to see what can be salvaged.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten previews the weekend's action, or lack thereof.

There are weeks when many of us would trade lives with Jim Tressel. This is not one of those weeks.

Not only did his Buckeyes fail to finish USC when they had the Trojans on the ropes, Tressel also saw "Tresselball" ripped apart by Chris Brown of Smart Football, faced a fan base who want him fired three days ago, had to lash back at some of those same fans, discovered that one of USC's touchdowns may not have happened, and now he has to face a Toledo team that just mashed Colorado into goo.

Yes, there are a lot of reasons why you wouldn't want to be Jim Tressel this week, but "because he's on the hot seat" isn't one of them.

Apparently, Week 1 games really don't tell you anything. Last week, Michigan State had little trouble polishing off Montana State in a game that quickly got out of hand. Central Michigan, meanwhile, looked feeble and toothless against Arizona, failing to score even a single touchdown.

Things worked out a little differently this week for both teams. Central Michigan quarterback Dan LeFevour hit on more than 71 percent of his passes, throwing for 325 yards and three touchdowns. More importantly, he burned the Spartan secondary repeatedly on big play after big play. Michigan State just didn't have an answer for LeFevour.

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Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten previews the weekend's action, even when the truth is ugly.

It was a bad week for vowels.

The seven Big Ten schools whose names start with consonants played anywhere from OK to brilliantly this past weekend. The four that start with vowels -- Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, and Ohio State -- all dropped a pantload on the field.

Illinois gets a partial pass because Missouri has been on a nice run lately. Ohio State played a Navy team that usually goes bowling. Indiana struggled with a Division I-AA FCS school, but they're Indiana; you kind of expect these things from them after a while.

That leaves one school. Iowa. And if I was an Iowa fan ... wait. I am an Iowa fan. Make the jump and see what has me feeling punchy. I promise I'll get around to the games eventually.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten previews the upcoming weekend's action in The Conference Everybody Loves to Hate.

Oh, it's here. It's finally, finally, finally here. No more depth-chart speculation, no more arguing about who is the best SAM in the conference, and only one more week until the game that will either restore the Big Ten's swagger or send it sobbing into the bathroom. The teams are ready, the stadiums are ready (well, except for Minnesota's), the cheerleaders and bands are ready, the vast charcoal forests of northern Michigan have been shaved to the ground, the beer cows of Wisconsin have been "milked" into millions of brown glass bottles ... it's time for some football, y'all.

So, grab a beverage, throw some cheddarwurst on the grill, and let's take a look at this weekend's action-packed slate of games, shall we?

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, smart guy. You're thinking this post should be one letter long, and that letter should be 'F.' It's true that the Big Ten did little to advance its reputation during the season, and even less during the postseason. In spite of it all, there are still a few diamonds among the, um, whatever else it is the diamonds are scattered among.

They're scattered among things like 35-3, a 1-6 bowl game record, the fall of the Michigan dynasty, a tragically unwarranted and completely unjustified preseason overrating, several regressions to the mean, and the worst sendoff since the last episode of "Seinfeld."

So we'll go through the league team by team, painful as that is, to build up the successes and try to understand the failures of Big Ten football in 2008. Yes, I used "success" and "Big Ten football" in the same sentence without the connecting phrase "lack of." Deal with it, Buck. Every team gets an overall grade and a quick look at its prognosis for the 2009 season. For you Big Ten fans, I promise you it's not all bad news; for you Big Ten haters, I promise you it's not all good.