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Like the kid at the mall who won't stay off the escalator, Moises Alou and the baseball diamond are a match destined to end up in pain and suffering. The Mets outfielder is back on the disabled list after straining his left calf during the Mets loss to the Braves on Wednesday night.

It's the 17th stint on the DL for Alou in his 18 big-league seasons. There's no truth to the rumor that it was a stiff breeze that caused the injury. The reason, according to Alou, is much more prosaic. Compensating for one of his other injuries, a sprained ankle not his hernia if you're wondering, caused the calf strain.

There's no easy replacement for Alou in the lineup. While the Mets get Ryan Church back tonight from his head injury, their only other outfield options are Marlon Anderson and Endy Chavez. Each is best suited to a bench role and the AAA pantry could only offer third-string catcher Raul Casanova to fill Alou's roster spot.

Making matters worse, the Johan Santana trade gutted most of their high-level prospects which will make a trade for quality reinforcement quite difficult for Omar Minaya. Even if Alou isn't out for long, not the safest bet at the dog track, the team could still use another righty bat to balance their outfield options. It's not raining for the Mets right now, it's a downpour.

With the backdrop of the Milton Bradley vs. Mike Winters incident not far behind, it's worth exploring other player vs. umpire battles. There's at least one other relationship that just a bit strained.

Mets reserve Marlon Anderson attended a hearing Wednesday for the appeal of his two-game suspension and was incensed after reading umpire Dan Iassogna's account of their recent argument.

"I thought it went good," Anderson said about the hearing. "I addressed the lies that he said in his report."

Anderson was ejected by Iassogna for arguing a called third strike in the ninth inning of a Sept. 15 game against the Philadelphia Phillies. After a heated argument, Anderson threw his batting helmet toward the plate when he reached the dugout. He also drew a fine for the outburst. (...)

"I went in there today and read the report that he wrote," Anderson said. "It's amazing that a grown man could sit there and lie and say the things that he said and not have to show up and defend what he said."

He said Iassogna's report indicated that Anderson cursed the umpire three times with a specific profanity. "That's something that doesn't come out of my mouth. Anybody who knows me as a person has never heard me say that. There was a time in my life when I did use words like that. But that's no longer what I do," Anderson said. "It's pretty sick. It makes me sick in the stomach. I don't want that on my record. That's not who I am."

Those thinking that the Winters incident is going to set a precedent and that Iassogna is going to get a suspension or even a reprimand should probably think again. Anderson did get himself thrown out in this instance. But the accusations of lying does highlight a growing rift between player and umpire, due in part to umpires becoming, in general, more proactive and aggressive in their arguments towards players. Seems like more umps have rabbit ears, and more umps tend to chase players more in their arguments. Long gone are the days when umpires, by and large, just attempted to walk away.

Chris Coste has now been thrown into the middle of an increasingly heated rivalry ... almost entirely by accident.

Let's set the scene: Shea Stadium, Saturday afternoon. The Mets are about to lose to the Phillies for the seventh straight time. Marlon Anderson (pictured) has just gotten tossed for arguing a third strike called by umpire Dan Iassogna (also pictured). Anderson went half-berserk at what he thought was ball four (by a mile) and not only said his peace, but lobbed his helmet in the general direction of Iassogna from the top step of the dugout. One problem: the helmet hit Phillies catcher Chris Coste near a sensitive area. Would Coste retaliate with punches? Would he call for the beanball on the on-deck batter? We'll let Coste explain what he did with the helmet:

"I looked over and saw (Jose) Reyes looking at me like this (a facial expression as if to say uh oh) and honestly I wasn't even mad about it. I thought it was kind of funny and in my mind I thought 'the dugout is going to love this,' and I kicked it for the dugout. I didn't realize I was going to get booed by 40,000 people."

As Coste recounted the story, Jimmy Rollins - he of the 'we're the team to beat statement' that is far from forgotten in Queens - chimed in with a congratulations.

"Now I know at least 1% of what Jimmy Rollins feels like every time he walks out there. That's a tiny, tiny bit."

If the helmet had been kicked with a head still inside it, then that percentage goes up. Perhaps ... 2%. Probably the only time getting 40,000 people to boo you would count as "diffusing" a situation. For the Mets, well if they were looking for revenge, I'd say losing two games and having their catcher kick a Mets helmet wouldn't quite qualify as such.

Previously on FanHouse:
Mets Look for Revenge Against Phillies

A day after telling you that the Dodgers were placing starter Jason Schmidt on the 15-day DL for the second time this season, the news has come out that Schmidt will have shoulder surgery. There is no return date planned for the pitcher, and GM Ned Colletti has called the news "very discouraging." In the meantime, Chad Billingsley will take Schmidt's place in the rotation, a move that is long overdue, and Marlon Anderson has been activated from the DL to take Schmidt's spot on the roster.

When I wrote that Schmidt was returning to the DL yesterday, I called his signing the worst of the off-season. Initially, based on the short length and little relative money (compared to other top-notch pitchers like Barry Zito), I thought Colletti made the steal of the Winter. And if Schmidt were healthy like his normal self, or if he pitched like he did last year at the least, the deal would have definitely been a bargain.

Now, it seems like an utter waste. The $47 million pitcher has been useless this year, and his surgery will probably set him back through part of next year. My guess is half the contract has already gone down the drain.