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If you wanted to play a parlay on Miami and Clemson road-grading Duke and Wake Forest the kind of clubbings usually reserved for the Knicks or Andy Kennedy's cab rides, you probably would've had to look far, far down your betting slip.

Think somewhere in the area of Alex Rodriguez autographing a copy of Joe Torre's new book and Alex Rodriguez shacking up with a woman whose age is less than his homer totals.

And then keep looking down.

Highlights of the 2002 Rose Bowl between Miami and Nebraska popped up on YouTube recently and they're an amazing artifact in the wake of Miami's dismal 2006 showing, both on and off the field. I mean... good God, you've got Vince Wilfork crushing people, Andre Johnson burning them, Clinton Portis running past them, Jeremy Shockey catching a bunch of stuff and acting like an asshat -- some things never change -- and a whole array of Miami linebackers tatooing their numbers onto Cornhusker jerseys:



Aside from the prominent involvement of Ken Dorsey, that looks like an NFL Pro Bowl roster. This should tell you two things: 1) you and I could have coached that team to a national title, and 2) the ACC -- Miami included -- should be very afraid of Butch Davis. UNC already raked in a Zook-ian inexplicably monster recruiting class before Davis has coached a game. Mack Brown era redux coming up in Chapel Hill?

Though Oklahoma fans will disagree, the nadir of the 2006 football season was the wild brawl between Florida International and Miami that was the final nail in the coffin for both Larry Coker and 'Cane announcer Lamar Thomas, who said these infamous words:

"Now, that's what I'm talking about," Thomas said as the brawl raged out of control. "You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing."

Thomas, who was fired milliseconds after the game ended, will be unhappy to know that evidently FIU does just come into the O.B.:

During construction [on a new, 18,000 seat FIU stadium] this year, university and Miami city officials hope the team will play in the city-owned Orange Bowl. "The City of Miami is working with FIU on an agreement that would allow them to play their 2007 games at the Orange Bowl," Kelly Penton, the city's director of communications, said in an e-mail. "Since UM is currently our tenant, the FIU team schedule would have to work around already-scheduled UM games. We are optimistic that we will be able to work out the scheduling and have an agreement with FIU."

This is where the word "irony," so often ill-used by people like Alanis Morrissette and Charlie Weis, can be properly deployed: how ironic.

As you probably know, former Auburn quarterback Patrick Nix was named offensive coordinator at Miami on Friday. It's quite a promotion for the former Georgia Tech coordinator. Nix is setting himself up nicely for a shot at a head coaching job in a few years.

It's hard to believe Nix has been at Tech for five years. The past three seasons he's served as offensive coordinator, but in reality he just started calling plays this past year. The hiring is interesting for several reasons.

Nix came out of nowhere to land the job. The 34 year-old had an up and down first season calling plays, helping lead the Yellow Jackets to the ACC Championship game. The consensus among many in the ACC was that Tech coach Chan Gailey still had a hand in the offense and wouldn't let Nix completely open it up like he wanted.

He has a reputation as a creative offensive mind. Perhaps just as important, Nix is known as a tireless recruiter. If you can recruit to Tech, you should have a field day in South Florida. But what apparently landed him the job was the way he coached against Miami this season.

As the Tar Heels prepare to face Miami at noon, here are a few pre-game questions that have been running through my head:

• What's the over/under on the number of banners that will be flying over the stadium supporting the removal of coaches John Bunting and/or Larry Coker?
  
  
• Will the Tar Heel defense surrender fewer than 500 yards of offense?
  
  
• Would mobile quarterback Joe Dailey be a better choice to run the UNC offense against a lightning fast, blitz happy Miami defense?
  
  
• Will there be more than 20,000 fans in attendance?
  
  
• Will Miami fans run coach Larry Coker out of town even if Miami wins in a close game?
  
  
• How much "reverse smack" will the two fan bases talk to one another today?

After the Tar Heels' last on-field performance at Clemson which resulted in a 52-7 drubbing by the Tigers, I've decided that there's just one key to success this week for the Tar Heels as they travel to Miami:

COMPETE!

I use the word "success" rather than "victory," because success this week will not be measured with a win or a loss. Rather, success against the Canes will be determined by how hard the Tar Heels play and how willing they are to compete.

Against Clemson, North Carolina simply didn't show up. They got down early and just flat out quit on themselves, their coach, their school, and their teammates. As a result, they were embarrassed.

As an old coach once told me, "You're never a failure until you quit trying." In the Tar Heels' case, they failed at Clemson.

If the boys in blue compete on every play, fly around the field with intensity and desire for 60 minutes, and are willing to go blow for blow with mighty Miami, then the game should be close.

Win or lose this week, a strong display of heart, toughness, and leadership will be considered a welcome success in my book considering what we've seen in previous weeks. A win, albeit quite possible, would simply be icing on the cake.

Win or lose, North Carolina's effort against the Miami Hurricanes in Coral Gables on Saturday will dictate the rest of their season.

Miami has decidedly better talent, but whether they have a better team remains to be seen. If the Tar Heels are able to play tough, compete, and either win or lose close in a hard-fought matchup, the rest of the Tar Heels' season looks promising.

If North Carolina shows up expecting to get routed like they did against Clemson, then the Heels will most likely struggle to win another game.

It's not the talent that seems to be the problem with North Carolina. From where I sit, it seems to be more of a motivational and competitive issue. Whether this issue is a result of poor coaching or a reflection of our team's mental resolve isn't quite clear. I expect, however, that the blame should be shared by both coaches and players.

Realistic Tar Heel fans don't expect this team to be 10-2 or even 9-3, but they do expect their team to play hard and compete rather than roll over and play dead for their opposition like they have in several games during John Bunting's tenure.

It'll be interesting to see which UNC team shows up on Saturday...the Tar Heels who spanked Miami in the first half of last year's game or the Tar Heels who were dominated in the second half of last year's game.

North Carolina head coach John Bunting says that his Tar Heels have "gotten better" after their bye week. Not only are the Heels "perfectly healthy," but the team was able to get a lot of fundamental work done and increase the competition level at weaker positions:

"We've been developing a lot of the young players, scrimmaging them, something we haven't done before. We've increased a little competition which is good. If we can continue to get better we'll see some improvement and be pleased with what we see this coming week."

Hopefully, Bunting is correct in his assessment because North Carolina travels to Miami as a 19 point underdog to the Hurricanes.

Bunting's teams have traditionally performed well coming off of bye weeks, which bodes well for the Heels. But one of the major concerns involves the team's recent passive play on defense.

Bunting and defensive coordinator Marvin Sanders addressed the issue of passivity prior to last week and promised a more aggressive style in the future. We'll see if they live up to that promise in Coral Gables.

Which fan base wants a coaching change worse? North Carolina's or Miami's?

That sad debate is currently taking place on a University of Miami message board as supposed "fans" of both schools beg the other team to beat them and bring about a coaching change in a bizarre exchange of reverse smack talk.

Many Tar Heel fans are tired of John Bunting's poor showings on Saturdays, and Miami fans are calling for Larry Coker's ouster as well. Both fan bases are united, however, in imploring the other team to deliver the "death blow" to their respective head coach's job security.

As a true North Carolina fan, I look at this exchange in two ways. On one hand, it's quite pathetic. By definition, one ceased to be a "fan" the moment they pull for their team to lose despite whatever twisted reasons they may have. If the tone of the thread weren't done in such a tongue-in-cheek manner, I'd probably take serious issue with it and the Carolina "fan" who started it.

However, I have to give them points for creativity. Some of the smack talk has been pretty funny:

UNC Fan: I am not "rooting against my team". Rather, I implore you, I beg you, please put aside your differences on Coker long enough to support your team's thorough preparation for the UNC game, so that the "better team will win". It would be a tragedy for both sides if somehow UNC pulled an upset (or even a close game) and gave our AD grounds for "hope for the future" and a further contract extension because Miami did not prepare properly.

Miami Fan: It would be the loss that breaks Coker's back. A loss to UNC would most definitely leave no doubt that he will be fired and in the process keep your coach. We owe you that much for beating us 2 years ago.

In all seriousness, though, I wish John Bunting all the success in the world against Miami and every opponent his teams face. I'm not 100% convinced that he's the right man to lead the North Carolina program, but he's our coach and I'll support him until he's no longer our coach. Heck, I'll even support him after that. He's a great person, a loyal member of the Tar Heel family, and he represents our University with class and integrity.

Still, that message board thread is seriously funny.

I thought the ACC had stolen all of the Big East's best teams. At least that's what was supposed to happen as the ACC hoped to become more than just a basketball conference by pilfering Boston College, Virginia Tech, and Miami.

So far this year, Big East teams are 4-2 against the ACC with two interconference games remaining in the unofficial ACC/Big East Challenge.

The only bright spot for the ACC has been traditional non-factor Wake Forest who have accounted for the only two ACC wins, those being over Syracuse and Connecticut.

Traditional power Miami was waxed this past Saturday 31-7 by a Louisville team comprised of "Miami rejects," as Lee Corso so astutely noted.

The ACC hopes to regain some respectability this weekend as former Big East power Virginia Tech takes on Cincinnati.

The final game will take place on October 14th between North Carolina and South Florida.

Here are the ACC/Big East scores to date:

West Virginia 45, Maryland 24
Wake Forest 24, Connecticut 13
Louisville 31, Miami 7
Rutgers 21, UNC 16
Pittsburgh 38, Virginia 13
Wake Forest 20, Syracuse 10