FanHouse MikeFurrey

In a perfect world, Cleveland would break its first offensive huddle next season, send Braylon Edwards to one side of the field, Donte Stallworth to the other, and both would catch everything thrown in his direction. But, as Browns fans can heartily attest, 'tis not a perfect world.

Bray Bray might get traded because he's got the dropsies, Stallworth is facing DUI manslaughter charges and the Browns' other returning receivers (led by Joshua Cribbs) are role players at best. So new head coach Eric Mangini is doing his best to fill the gaps -- the latest coming with the signing of former Lion Mike Furrey.

I suppose it's a lot easier to have a sense of humor when you no longer play for the Lions. Wide receiver Roy Williams, who was traded from Detroit to Dallas earlier this month, was back in the Motor City for Mike Furrey's annual Halloween party. And while there will always be a special place in my heart for Jon Kitna's spot-on 2007 effort as a naked, drunk-driving assistant coach, Williams truly outdid himself.

Williams came dressed as former Lions running back Tatum Bell, who made national headlines two months ago when he was accused of pilfering the travel bags of Detroit running back Rudi Johnson. Williams was wearing a bellhop uniform with a big name tag that said "T. Bell.''

There's even video evidence after the jump.

By now you've heard the news that Roy Williams was dealt to the Dallas Cowboys -- not that Roy Williams, but this Roy Williams (see image). Yes sir, the Lions opted to throw in the towel on their debacle of a half-century season and part ways with the former first-rounder. Meanwhile, Jerry Jones and the Cowboys swooped into to grab some more big-name talent under the same business model as the New York Yankees.

It all depends which side of the camp you're on when pegging one side the winner or the other the loser from a football perspective. However, there weren't just two teams affected by this deal. No sir, there were millions upon millions of teams affected by this deal. And that's where we come in with the fantasy spin. Yup, aside from just your fantasy team, there's a whole grocery list of players from both the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions that may have seen their fortunes change for the better or worse today.

Let's start with the Lions...

The NFL's trade deadline has come and gone, and despite a few rumblings yesterday, quarterback Jon Kitna remains a member of the Detroit Lions. For now. Just don't expect to see him setting foot on the field anytime soon, seeing as he's officially been placed on injured reserve, ending his season, as reported by Tom Kowalski.

The news came just minutes after the 4:00 PM ET trade deadline, which saw the Lions send wide receiver Roy Williams packing to Dallas for a boatload of draft picks.

With Kitna now on the shelf, and Williams catching passes for the Cowboys, the Lions will now turn their offense over to the scrambling abilities of Dan Orlovsky. It's all bad news for Calvin Johnson, as he's going to be dealing with the added coverage that comes with Mike Furrey or Shaun McDonald lining up opposite him, while his quarterback runs out of the end zone.

Settle in, Lions fans, it could be a long season.

Saturday morning cartoons these days (the ones that still exist) are nothing but flash animation with no deeper worth than the bright colors and farts that fill them. Things weren't like this when I was a kid. No, when I was a kid, cartoons were shameless attempts at selling me toys, and then different toys or toy-related foods and services during the commercials. Occasionally they would try to sell me on the danger of drugs (usually marijuana... I learned it by watching you) or the enjoyment of "sports" (usually extreme).

ProStars was the best/worst/most Hammerman-esque example of this. The 400-minute cartoon (if I'm remembering it correctly) starred Bo Jackson, Michael Jordan, and Wayne Gretzky (not really) as sports-themed super heroes who fight crime using super versions of sports equipment. Sometimes they'd write "sports" on a brick and throw it at a criminal!

Anyway, updating ProStars is a project that is long overdue, and it's about time somebody brought the world's sports together once more to save kids from fires and rollerblade under rapidly-closing doors.

Tonight's esoteric-ass Dugout is after the jump.

Hear that? It's the pitter-patter of fantasy football season approaching. Fantasy FanHouse is here to get you ready by previewing every team from a fantasy perspective.

Meet The ...
Adam Sandler movie of the NFL: always entertaining, yet never really winning anything notable. Whether it's drafting a WR in three consecutive first rounds (slapstick/unrealistic comedy like Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore), putting together a highly productive offense in terms of fantasy football (funny, yet quasi-legit Big Daddy or Wedding Singer? Maybe?), or guaranteeing ten wins ("I'm gonna go legit with Spanglish!"); you'll always be entertained and they'll always avoid the playoffs. This year is no different. The former laughingstock of a division is now somewhat of a powerhouse, and the Lions are still a step behind even the obviously third-best Bears. If you want entertainment, though, they won't disappoint.

The Breakout
Calvin Johnson is ready to take the next step after becoming acclimated to the NFL in his rookie season. I love it when people proclaim a rookie to have freaky mad skills and then if he doesn't perform to expectations he's an afterthought one year later. That's a year of experience, man. Never a bad thing. He's ready to make the leap into fantasy stud-dom. You'll see.

As we get ready for Super Bowl XLII, FanHouse is looking back at each team's 2007 first-round pick. Here's a look at the 2nd pick in the draft, wide receiver Calvin Johnson.


Who They Took: Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech

Who Else They Were Rumored To Consider: Joe Thomas, LT, Wisconsin; Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson.

What We Said At The Time: "Well, I do know quite a bit about Calvin Johnson, having watched him several times at Georgia Tech. And I think he's great. But I can't shake the feeling that if Matt Millen is taking him, he has to be a bust. Millen has made so many mistakes, so often, that it's hard to believe he could have done the smart thing here."

What Johnson Did: Lions fans might seem all too willing to admit that the words above have proven prophetic. The Detroit media might not be far behind. But that's because anything that is overhyped is bound to disappoint. Johnson's incredible, but nobody could match those expectations. Considering the circumstances -- battling a nagging back injury all year long and getting limited reps as a third receiver -- Johnson did remarkably well. His 756 receiving yards and five total touchdowns are impressive, and other than a messy game against the Packers, did what he was supposed to do when called upon.

Maybe the Lions should name wide receiver Mike Furrey the team's new offensive coordinator. He may not have Mike Martz's I.Q. -- or Mensa membership card -- but he seems to understand why the Lions offense fell flat on its face this season. When talking about offensive line coach Jim Colletto getting promoted to OC, Furrey offered this:

"I just hope we are all on the same page because that's what we need. I'm sure we're going to run the ball because that is what everyone is talking about – we didn't run the ball enough."

Of course, that was obvious to everybody but Martz, which raises another question: is Matt Millen the only NFL general manager who could unearth an offensive coordinator featuring a pass-only game plan for 17 straight weeks?

I suppose you could make the case that the 16-0 New England Patriots made out okay by primarily throwing the ball, but it's worth remembering two things: first, the Patriots have Tom Brady. Jon Kitna's a nice, God-fearing quarterback, but he's not Tom Brady.

I was pretty adamant in pinning yesterdays 16-10 loss to the Giants on Shaun McDonald, who fumbled and was then mostly responsible for two game-losing interceptions in the final two minutes. But like any decent team -- the 49ers don't apply in this instance -- no one in the Lions locker room was pinning the blame on McDonald except for Shaun himself.

Roy Williams put the loss on himself for making too many mistakes, including the inability to take advantage of blown coverage and extend for a catch with nothing but the end zone in front of him. That touchdown would have won the game like both of McDonald's chances could have. But the Free Press pins the loss on Mike Martz.

A few minutes earlier, Kitna heaved an end-zone prayer to McDonald that might have been a touchdown but was wrestled away by James Butler for a pick. And though Kitna maintained that was a great defensive play, Butler is 6-feet-3 and McDonald is 5-feet-10. Those plays work better when the personal stats are reversed -- as in 6-5 Calvin Johnson against 5-8 Kevin Dockery, which resulted in the Lions' only touchdown.

Aside from a couple of spectacular plays this year, deity Hall of Famer draft darling Calvin Johnson hasn't had quite the season many imagined (of course, those were people with inflated expectations, but I digress). According to Mike Martz, however, we need to view Johnson's rookie year in context.

"He's kind of been like that all year, unfortunately. That back injury was pretty significant. It was a real painful thing, and he has a hard time. ... That's why he's had a little bit of a limited role. If he's really healthy, then obviously we pick up some of the slack there and do a little bit more with him. ... Most guys won't play with what he's got, now. It's a painful injury, that back, and he's insisted on playing. He didn't want to come out of that game.

For a young player like that, his approach to the game, his toughness, is really pretty remarkable, very mature. ... He just can't be as sudden. He just doesn't have the juice and the acceleration he normally has.

Anyone who was expecting a record-setting rookie year from Johnson wasn't being realistic. Randy Moss, Anquan Boldin, and Marques Colston does not a trend make And Johnson has to share the load with Roy Williams and Mike Furrey. Still, though, he's on pace for 635 yards and four touchdowns which, all things considered, isn't half bad. The kid's gonna be alright.