FanHouse MikeIlitch

Oh my God.

Pending a physical, journeyman relief pitcher and personal performance icon Kyle Farnsworth has agreed to a two-year, $9.25 million dollar contract with the Kansas City Royals. It is a deal that helps nobody, really. Unless you count us.

Step aside, respected bloggers. We got this. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Deep breath.

Footprints in the Snow is FanHouse's look at the paths to be forged by MLB teams this winter as they look ahead to 2009.

The Tigers were the most disappointing team in the majors last year. A preseason pick for the World Series by many, they finished dead last in the AL Central, thanks mostly to a pitching staff that ranked 27th out of 30 teams and a defense that committed the second most errors in the league.

Only the Yankees and Mets spent more money last year, and the Tigers don't have nearly the revenue stream of their Big Apple counterparts. As such, GM Dave Dombrowski is expected to slash and burn the payroll this winter. Can he bring the Tigers back into contention without draining owner Mike Ilitch's pockets? He's facing an uphill battle, for sure, especially considering duds like Dontrelle Willis, Gary Sheffield and Nate Robertson will cost the team $33 million alone.

The Tigers went for broke this year, bumping their payroll from $95 million last season to $138 million this year in hopes of buying a spot in the postseason. In hindsight, it wasn't meant to be: the Tigers sit 8 1/2 games out of the division lead, and considering they've won just three of their past 12, the deficit seems to grow larger every day.

At least there's always next year, right? Yeah, about that ... After footing the bill for baseball's third-highest payroll, owner Mike Ilitch is allegedly putting pressure on the front office to slash costs next year, according to the Detroit News' Lynn Henning.

Ivan Rodriguez was already dealt in a cost-cutting trade, and expensive veterans like Edgar Renteria, Todd Jones and Kenny Rogers almost certainly won't be re-signed or have their options picked up this winter. It'll be hard to unload Gary Sheffield without picking up a substantial portion of the $14 million he's owed next year, but by putting him on waivers this year, the Tigers are at least trying.

Getting rid of the guys mentioned above makes as much baseball sense as it does financially, but will the team go so far as to unload their most productive players? Henning thinks Magglio Ordonez could be sent to bigger market in exchange for cheap prospects. If that happens, it'll be a hard sell to fans, who have filled Comerica Park to 99.3% capacity this summer, to keep turning out in 2009. If the Tigers can't post a winning record with Maggs, why should fans think the team can contend without him? This team has made huge strides the last several years -- it'll be a shame if Ilitch gives up now.

As I was watching Chris Chelios skating the Stanley Cup around the ice at Mellon Arena last night, I couldn't help but wonder: Was this the last we'd see of the 46-year old defenseman? After playing in 15 of Detroit's first 16 playoff games, Chelios was injured at the tail end of the Western Conference Finals with Dallas, and was a healthy scratch for all six games against Pittsburgh.

Well, wonder no more.

Considering the TIgers gave up six prospects to get Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera, it's not a huge surprise they're doing their best to keep them in Detroit for the foreseeable future. Willis was taken care of last month when he signed a three-year extension worth $29 million to keep him wearing the Olde English D through 2012, but will Cabrera also sign?

The Tigers have some time to convince him -- the team holds his rights for at least two more seasons -- but Jon Paul Morosi of the Detroit Free Press thinks they'll try to get a deal done this winter. Cabrera should be able to net $11 million through arbitration this year and another $14 million next.

After that, his price will skyrocket. Is he worth $20 million? If so, Morosi thinks the Tigers would have to offer at least $105 million ($25 million for the first two, $20 million per over the next four) to get a deal done. That's a lot of dough for a guy who's not even 25 years old. For Detroit, it'd be a leap of faith that Cabrera continues to improve (and hopefully, doesn't continue to expand his waistline). For Cabrera, it offers a huge amount of security and still leaves him with flexibility to hit the open market for the first time in his career before his 30th birthday.

We all know that owners of any NHL hockey club have more than enough money to buy a few small Caribbean countries, mansions in every major North American city, and have enough left over for Chinese takeout.

So, just who are the NHL's kings of bling? According to Forbes, It's Mike Ilitch (Red Wings, pictured), and Charles Dolan (New York Rangers).

1. Mike Ilitch (Net worth: $1.6 billion)- It's hard to believe this fragile-looking old man was once an actual baseball player, but he was. He might have been a pro if not for injuries.

He spent decades building his Little Caesar's Pizza into one of the largest chains in America, using the proceeds to buy up his hometown teams. Ilitch bought hockey's Detroit Red Wings in 1982 for $8 million, today worth $293 million. He bought the Tigers for $82 million 10 years later; they're now worth more than $350 million.

Damn! That's some serious return on his investment. Meanwhile, my cruddy pension might get me 8% if I hit the jackpot and the stars align perfectly.

2. Charles Dolan (Net worth: $3.2 billion) - This guy isn't the wisest spender when it comes to his sports teams. Throughout his tenure, the Rangers and Knicks have paid premium prices for talent, and have often failed to even make the playoffs. While Ilitch will open the pocketbooks to improve his team, Dolan and his family tend to treat their teams like little toys, with very little vested interest in making truly good hockey decisions.

You took the Tigers' offer. And why not? Little Ceasars for life was too good to turn down. You report to spring training and immediately click with all of your teammates. You get a locker next to Jim Leyland's office, though, and all of the second-hand smoke takes a couple of years off your life, but who cares? You're filthy rich, and by the time you need it you'll probably be able to clone an extra lung, or at least purchase one on the black market.

Plus, the fans are great. Even when you go 1-for-4 with three strikeouts, no one complains -- after all, they can still see Brandon Inge sitting in the dugout. Plus, by the third week of the season all of the reporters have given up hope that you'll ever say something controversial. All of that media training Scott Boras made you take to make you as boring as possible paid off! Instead of bugging you, all the reporters now camp out by Gary Sheffield's locker waiting for his next ridiculous sound bite.

The Tigers cruise to a division title and coast through the playoffs. All of that fielding practice Leyland forced the pitchers to take paid off, as they manage to get past the Rockies in the World Series without a single error. In 2009, though, you realize just how old this team is. After winning the World Series, Pudge Rodriguez leaves as a free agent, and by now Edgar Renteria, Placido Polanco, Carlos Guillen and Magglio Ordonez are all at least 33 years old, and Sheffield is 40. If this team can't win another title soon, it'll likely be broken up and sold for parts.

A few years later, that's exactly what happens. Mike Ilitch steps down from his role, passing the torch to his kids, who are more interested in preserving the family fortune than they are maintaining one of the highest salaries in baseball. Everyone else is traded off, but your contract makes you immovable -- not that the team would consider trading you anyways, considering your chase for Barry Bonds' record is the main attraction at the gate. Despite a losing record and a rag-tag collection of teammates, you finish your career in pursuit not of wins but rather individual statistics, following in the footsteps of the man whose record you're chasing.

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

You choose to negotiate with the Detroit Tigers. Smart move: owner Mike Ilitch is one of the few owners in the game who actually likes working with Scott Boras, signing the likes of Ivan Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez, Kenny Rogers and this year's first-rounder Rick Porcello to hefty contracts that surprised everyone else in the game.

But can Ilitch step up to the plate with an offer big enough to bring you in? You think he will. And for good reason: after years of laying dormant, the Tigers are relative newcomers to this whole contending thing, and now that Ilitch has a taste, he's willing to do anything it takes to get his team over the top.

For years Ilitch ignored the Tigers and poured his heart and soul into hockey. You know that new salary cap in the NHL? You can blame Ilitch for that one; his free-spending ways with the Red Wings turned Detroit into Hockeytown. He was George Steinbrenner on ice: there wasn't a free agent too expensive or a trade too lopsided for him to pull off. The Wings' payroll always ranked among the league's highest, but all that mattered to Ilitch was bringing home the Stanley Cup at the end of the season. With a record-number of fans turning out to support the Tigers last year, Ilitch knows the fans will turn out to support a winner, so he just might surprise with a hefty offer.

Comerica Park won't do you any favors chasing the all-time home record, though, and seriously, winning team or not, who moves to Detroit? All things considered, you press your luck and ask for a 10% premium on your $30 million target per season. Boras starts the negotiations at 10 years, $330 million. Ilitch comes back eight years, $256 million, plus a suite at the park and all the Little Ceasars pizza you can eat for life. Sure, those pies only costs $5 apiece, but you're not from around here, and you don't know that yet.

Click here to sign with the Tigers.
Click here to sign with someone else.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

Unless I'm completely incapable of reading between the lines, it certainly seems like Tigers owner Mike Ilitch tipped his hand regarding his feelings about keeping Ivan Rodriguez. Ilitch met with GM Dave Dombrowski on Wednesday regarding off-season business, including Pudge's situation, and this is what Ilitch had to say later that night:

"Pudge did a big thing for us, putting a face on the franchise," Ilitch told the Associated Press, in reference to Rodriguez's arrival following a 119-loss season. "He's made a lot of contributions.

"I don't think it'll be a tough call, but we'll see."

And bear in mind, he's the guy cashing the checks: if he's comfortable paying Rodriguez as much for past accomplishments as for what he brings to the table, then that certainly makes Dombrowski's job a lot easier. Pudge is no longer an elite offensive catcher by any stretch of the imagination -- his unwillingness to draw a walk has resulted in a sub-.300 OBP in two of the past three years.

That said, he's still a good defensive catcher and a clubhouse leader, and it sends a good message to the rest of the players on the team if they see that players will be rewarded. The Tigers hold a $13 million option on Pudge for next season, though $3 million is guaranteed, so it comes down to whether they want to spend the extra $10 million. It probably wouldn't be a good business move for a small market team with limited resources to pick up the option, but Ilitch has shown a renewed commitment to pouring money into the Tigers to keep them a contender, as evident by their free agent deals and high-priced draft picks the past few years.

If the Tigers don't keep Pudge, then their starting catcher for next year is not on the roster: Dombrowski admitted earlier in the week that neither Vance Wilson nor Mike Rabelo, Pudge's backups this year, will be considered for a starting job in 2008.

I've been a Tigers fan my entire life and even had one of those nifty 20-game packages in 2003 when the team tied the MLB record with 119 losses in a season. Sadly, ever since their World Series run last season, going to a weekend game these days requires either planning months in advance or paying a scalper through the nose. Owner Mike Ilitch knows this, which is why he's hoping to cash in by expanding Comerica Park in the near future. From the Detroit News:

Ilitch said the Tigers will consider incremental ways in which attendance might be increased at Comerica. It is one of the smallest ballparks in the majors with a capacity of 41,070.

"Oh, yeah, we're working on that," Ilitch said. "I mean, there are a lot of different things you can do.

"Look at these dugouts," he said, gesturing toward the Tigers' dugout, which, like the visitor's dugout, is expansive in the extreme. "You don't need a dugout that long. It's ridiculous."

Okay, so I probably won't be able to afford any of the new field-level seats, but there's going to be a trickle-down effect, right? With any luck the guys currently sitting in the first row can move down a few rows, so everyone behind him can slide down and so on until there's suddenly room for me way back in the last row. That's my hope, at least ... but I probably shouldn't hold my breath.

In other good news for Tigers fans, Ilitch revealed in the same article that he's not against raising the payroll if it means getting the right player. Just like he did with the Red Wings, Ilitch plans to use the increased revenues from the team's record-setting attendance this year to keep the Tigers competitive for the long-haul, whether that's spending big on prospects that fall in the draft or opening up the pocketbook for free agents.