Every Friday, FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein explains how various ballers were created. Introducing: the man solely responsible for dozens of absurdly anti-creative plays on the title of a 2002 chick flick, Josh Childress.
Liner notes: The Animal Review for ocelot; the Futurist Manifesto; Les fleurs du mal; an ultra-rare Living Legends cover of Brooks & Dunn's "My Maria"; Malt-o-Meal with an extra two tablespoons of butter, not margarine, BUTTER, and about two cloves, the spice, not the type of cigarette that gets you a little high when you're 13; Colin Powell's autobiography.
Every Friday, FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein explains how various ballers were created. Introducing: the guy who isn't even worth a bag of maple bats, Marcus Camby.
Liner notes: The University of Massachusetts Dean's List, circa spring 1943; half-a New York style pizza, reheated in the microwave just enough to get a little cheese sweat going, but not enough to make the sauce too hot; a disgruntled but amazing survey of The Camby Man's defensive truth; Antonio McDyess's diary, circa 2002.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: future Biathalon medalist Marreese Speights.
Liner notes: Evidence of simply outrageous production in college ball; guidebook to Dunedin, New Zealand; Famke Janssen's personnel file at the Rotterdam T.G.I.Friday's; the ChemCraft No. 5A Chemistry Set (hydrogen sulfide for days!); a bootleg Pantera show from '85; all the Harry Potter slash fanfic you can handle.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: George W. Bush's political appointee to the Office of Tecumseh's Curse, Bill Walker.
Liner notes: Ulysses S. Grant's memoirs; Vince Carter's 1999 New Year's resolutions; an extra-large jalapeno and linguica from that spot in Williamsburg, you know which one I'm talking about!; an unpublished collection of blue jokes written by the stoner half-brother of Mary Lou Retton; Pavement's Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain in tinny earbuds.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: the guy who caused Manute Bol to say, "Hey! Get this guy a burrito!', Anthony Randolph.
Liner notes: Season 3 of My Name is Earl; the Kyoto Protocol; Crossfit Trainer Certification course; a visit to the San Diego Zoo; all 376 minutes of Brandan Wright's NBA career; the unauthorized biography of Shirley Temple.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: the annual draft entry for Best or Worst Use of Incredible Body, Stromile Swift division: Texas A&M's DeAndre Jordan.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: the new age Chris Andersen clone who isn't on LSD (allegedly), Joe Alexander.
Liner notes: Stravinsky's Le Sacre du Printemps; Bubba Sparxx's mixtape themed after Finding Nemo; two hours of eye-popping YouTube footage; text messages from Thaddeus Young; Asimov's 14.2.
NBA Frankenstein pays a special visit to the NBA Finals. Introducing: the most lovable most-hated team in America, the Los Angeles Lakers.
Liner notes: Mad Dog's 90 seconds of fame; The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (in large print); Mark Heisler's forthcoming The Kobe Rules (scheduled for 2017 publication); a desk calendar with daily lessons from the Dalai Lama; Jeannie Buss' Facebook wall.
NBA Frankenstein pays a special visit to the NBA Finals. Introducing: the franchise which made the phrase "Kelly Green" acceptable for New England hard-asses, the Boston Celtics.
Liner notes: the 1991 NIE on French Guyana; a pirated copy of Scot Pollard Presents: Yoga for Stoners; Alec Baldwin's tirade against his daughter; FanHouse's NBA Endgame compilation; grainy footage of Ray Allen's 5th grade talent show.
FanHouse's NBA Frankenstein, in which we describe how draft prospects were created. Introducing: a player who definitely benefited from a year of strong mentorship and quality values in college basketball, Eric Gordon.
