In 2005, the Bengals won 11 regular season games and were division champions. It was Marvin Lewis' third year in Cincinnati, and it looked like he had accomplished the impossible: saving this franchise from itself.
And then Kim von Oelhoffen happened. The Bengals would blow a 10-point lead to the Steelers in the wild-card round, and never really regain their bearings. They've averaged just over six wins a season since that playoff appearance, and Carson Palmer battled back from a serious knee injury three years ago only to suffer a serious elbow injury in September.
When I read the caption under the photo I just figured it was some eager beaver who had the misfortune to look like Bengals wideout Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. But after thinking about it for a half-second, it makes perfect sense in a "mental patient writing his memoirs on the wall of his padded cell in his own feces" sorta way.
So while most players are getting treatment, going over this week's game plan one last time, or, you know, sleeping, Mr. Cinco was doing some holiday shopping. On Black Friday. Courtesy of the Cincinnati Enquirer:
Ocho Cinco makes his way through the Best Buy store in Florence, Ky. He said was in the store to buy coach Marvin Lewis a gift. Seen with a Rock Band kit, portable stereo and a Cuisinart four-slice toaster, Ocho Cinco said, "I've been trying to call coach, but he doesn't answer." It was 5:25 a.m.
Not sure if he was undercover with the black leather jacket, the Steve Urkel glasses, and the black scully, or if that's his normal combat-shopping attire. Either way, it's good to know that Chad is passionate about something this season.
Bengals fans might feel differently, but in remembering the reason for the season, I'm thankful for Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. I'd never want him playing on my team, but without a vested interest, he's fun to watch in a John Daly"train wreck" sorta way.
And it's with this in mind that I thoroughly enjoyed his Wednesday morning press conference. Johnson talked about getting sent home from last Thursday night's Steelers game, his long-term future in Cincinnati, as well as his plans for the offseason. Via the Enquirer's Mark Curnutte:
Chad Javon Ocho Cinco is back with the Bengals after being deactivated for Thursday night's Steelers contest because of a severe case of drowsiness. And while I'm sure Ryan Fitzpatrick will happily welcome his return, when you're staring at 1-9-1, it doesn't much matter who you trot out there for the next five weeks.
The real issue, however, is what will the organization do with Mr. Cinco after the season? Common sense might dictate running his ass out of town and getting whatever you can for him. Of course, the Bengals could've had a first-round pick (or two, depending on who you believe) from the Redskins last summer, but they weren't willing to deal. In retrospect, yeah, they probably should have.
But according to CBS' Charley Casserly, the plan -- as of right now, anyway -- is to keep Johnson in Cincy for 2009, too. It seems like an insane notion given all the trouble he's caused in recent seasons, but nobody's ever accused the Bengals of being smart.
On Thursday night, as he gave his post-game press conference, Marvin Lewis looked about as sad and dejected as I've seen him during his six-year stint as the Bengals' head coach. Cincinnati had just lost their ninth game of the season, and had sent one of their best players, Chad Javon Ocho Cinco home earlier in the day because the Pro Bowl wideout couldn't -- or, more likely, wouldn't -- stop sleeping during a team meeting.
Unless Lewis gets "Scott Linehan-ed" (fired midseason), or less likely, pulls a "Bobby Petrino" (quits with a month to go), he's still got to coach the Bengals up for five more weeks. It's a daunting task considering that virtually everybody in the building checked out for the year sometime around Halloween.
As we do every week, it's time to take a look at a few underachieving stars or marginal starters and determine if they'll be of any assistance moving forward. Ultimately the decision is up to you, but let our thoughts sink in before you make your decision. Roster space is valuable in fantasy football and sometimes it's hard to part ways, but then again sometimes you just gotta do it. Yup, it's time for another installment of sink or swim.
For starters, I'll toss out a few obvious names that you can go ahead and cut from your rosters: Earnest Graham and Felix Jones. Season-ending injuries to those key running backs may throw a twist at a few fantasy playoff rosters. However, you've just gotta keep on keeping on. And now for today's guests on the "sink or swim" ledge... Chad Johnson, Eli Manning and Jake Delhomme. Yup, a few obvious names are up for discussion and let's not waste any time... time to dip right into the waters.
Hines Ward has been in the NFL for 11 years, and for most of that time, he's been known as a gritty, hard-working wide receiver and, more than that, a tenacious blocker. So it should be hardly worth noting when he legally plants an unsuspecting defender on his ass since, you know, it happens a half-dozen times a year.
Yet, every season, a small subset of folks decry Ward's tactics as dirty, over the line, so on and so forth. His latest victim (see above), Bengals rookie linebacker Keith Rivers, suggested through a jaw wired shut that Ward would "reap what he sows." Later we learned that the Ravens defense had a bounty on Ward, not to mention the discussion this week that Cincinnati would be plotting their revenge.
Ross Tucker, a former NFL lineman who now writes for SI.com, helps dispel some myths about bounties, revenge and whatnot in his latest column.
Ever wonder why Marion Barber, one of the best running backs in the league, never, ever does an interview? I'll be honest, the thought never crossed my mind until the Dallas Morning News' Barry Horn brought it up yesterday, but that might be because I'm busily fighting the urge to stab myself in the earballs with a spork after being exposed to Tony Kornheiser and Emmitt Smith.
For those of you who are curious about Barber's silence, it's pretty simple, actually: he doesn't want to say anything that might be misconstrued. Perfectly reasonable, and advice more players could stand to heed. In any event, Horn asked former Cowboys quarterback-turned-Fox analyst Troy Aikmanabout it:
Willie Parker already missed four games this season because of a bum knee, and he'll be out of commission against the Colts this afternoon after injuring his shoulder in Washington last Monday night.
According to NFL Network's Adam Schefter, it could be something that keeps Parker out for more than one game:
Willie Parker found out during the week that he has a torn labrum in his shoulder. He went for a second opinion on that shoulder on Friday; if and when he plays again this season, he's going to have to wear a harness. [The Steelers are] awaiting the results of a second test ... to see what the proper course of action is.
Schefter also points out that Chad Javon Ocho Cinco has played the 2008 season with the same injury -- and the requisite harness -- and hasn't been his usual effective self.
It sounds as if Chad Javon Ocho Cinco has been sending Carson Palmer subliminal messages. Or maybe the injured quarterback believes that the Bengals are poised for a second-half-of-the-season run after their first victory of the season last week.
Or perhaps Palmer's just overmedicated, an unintended side effect of rehabbing his right arm injury. Whatever, he sounds hopeful, which is something new for an organization that got off to a rollicking 0-8 start.
"We still have seven games left. We can still end up at 8-8," Palmer said. "You never know what can happen in this league. I've only been in it for six years, but strange things happen. You can't say right now that one team can or can't make the playoffs. You could find a way to slip into a wild-card spot at 8-8. I'm not going to say it's going to happen, but I'm not going to say it's not going to happen. So all I can do is to continue to rehab and get as healthy as possible."
Attention Bengals doctors: please lower Carson's dosage because he's obviously going mad. Actually, I don't fault him for his cheery optimism; football is a competitive sport and, presumably, owner Mike Brown pays the players to try to win games.
In 2005, the Bengals won 11 regular season games and were division champions. It was Marvin Lewis' third year in Cincinnati, and it looked like he had accomplished the impossible: saving this franchise from itself. 
On Thursday night, as he gave his post-game press conference, 
As we do every week, it's time to take a look at a few underachieving stars or marginal starters and determine if they'll be of any assistance moving forward. Ultimately the decision is up to you, but let our thoughts sink in before you make your decision. Roster space is valuable in fantasy football and sometimes it's hard to part ways, but then again sometimes you just gotta do it. Yup, it's time for another installment of sink or swim.
Willie Parker
It sounds as if Chad Javon 
