FanHouse Ohsnap

Mike Leach, Pepperdine lawyer turned swashbuckling football coach and quote machine, on the recent trend towards offensive geniuses real and supposed giving up their play-calling duties:

"I'm younger than those guys," he said. " ... I got into coaching to coach. Otherwise, you're just a handshaker."

Oh snap. "Handshakers" referenced in the article but probably not in the question, but that's no fun so let's just ignore that downer reality why don't we: Ralph Friedgen, Steve Spurrier, and Charlie Weis. (Weis, at the least, is one hell of a handshaker.)

Do I hear celebrity deathmatch? Anyone? Bueller?

(Via the Wiz)

You may have noted a few things about USC this season:

• Their days as an offensive juggernaut appear to be over,
• they ain't going to the national championship game, and
  
• OMG STANFORD.

Is the USC program crumbling -- or at least as crumbling as you can be when you sweep up a horde of blue-chip recruits every year -- because of Norm Chow's departure? Norm Chow, who might know, basically says "yes":

``(Pete Carroll) wanted to get things done a certain way and it worked out well for everybody. [Except USC, evidently -ed] You know, it's just too bad because I think they probably have the talent to maybe be playing for that fourth national championship in a month.''

And oh snap re Chow replacements Lane Kiffin and Steve Sarksian:

``I know (UCLA defensve coordinator) DeWayne Walker may be better than both of those guys.''

This qualifies as grade-A trash talk amongst perpetually reclusive elderly men, and seems convincing. Sarkisian turned down the Raiders this offseason, so he's got to be in line for the job when and if Carroll loses his mind and leaves. Hopefully this presages the fall of Troy back to the levels of suck we knew and loved in the mid-90s. No offense, Trojan fans.

UPDATE: Dammit. This stuff is from December. I suck. Sorry.

When one of the biggest busts in recent draft history happens to be a hulking receiver from USC with speed question marks and you happen to be a hulking receiver from USC with speed question marks, you probably get antsy when people start putting two and two together. So it's not a surprise that the Detroit News picked up on a little prickliness from Jarrett, no doubt when some media flack asked him why anyone would bother drafting Mike Williams again:

"The only thing we have in common was that we went to the same school," Jarrett said. "I think we're two opposite players with totally different personalities."

Jarrett said he didn't seek any advice from Williams.

"We really don't speak," Jarrett said.

No word on whether the same media member asked Brady Quinn about his relationship with Rick Mirer.