Oklahoma's Courtney Paris will put her money where her promise is.
One month, and one season-ending Final Four loss to Louisville after saying she'd pay back the full cost of her scholarship if the Sooners failed to win a national title, Paris affirmed that a guarantee is a guarantee.
"I do make good on the guarantee," Paris said. "Not today, though. Obviously, I don't have $64,000 waiting, but I do make good on it."
And in the name of Joe Willie Namath, this couldn't be any more ridiculous.
Hey, it's always football season at FanHouse. Welcome to "Greetings From Flyover Country," a new weekly feature that will keep you up to date on Big Ten, Big 12, and MAC football. We'll also cover any Midwestern stories which have national repercussions, along with rounding up the week's arrests and suspensions.
We start this week with a decision bound to have people from San Ysidro to Bangor scratching their heads. Please give a moment's thought to the worst aspect of the last postseason. While the Big 12 championship was settled on the field, the Big 12 South championship wasn't. Instead, the conference gave the division title to Oklahoma, because they use the BCS rankings as a tiebreaker.
Somewhere along the way, someone convinced North Carolina coach Roy Williams that he should always open with a joke.
And so, after leaving Oklahoma flatter than the FedEx floor Sunday, he did.
"I congratulate the NCAA for having cookies back there today, more than yesterday," Williams said to kick off his press conference after his Tar Heels won the South Region final. "And they're good. We're making progress in every area."
Now Williams won't be accused of being a particularly funny man any more than your accountant or Dane Cook, so for the coach with the vocabulary the Beav might find a tad gooey, this is about as good as it gets.
MEMPHIS – After Roy Williams answered his last question Sunday night at the press conference following his Tar Heels' easy 72-60 win over Oklahoma to advance to next weekend's Final Four, a North Carolina sports information official barked out some trivia for the departing media: the Tar Heels won for the first time all season with forward Tyler Hansbrough, the defending player of the year, and shooting guard Wayne Ellington failing to score in double figures.
What happens when the Sweet 16 is comprised entirely of storied powers? You get 16 teams all feeling the pressure to succeed. Ray Holloman takes an in-depth look at the expectations being heaped upon every team left in the Big Dance.
There is no room here for the little guy.
Were the Sweet 16 a country club, Tiger Woods might have to pull some strings to get a tee-time. Meanwhile Goliath might find himself picking splinters out of his warm-up-clad rear on any one of these rosters.
It's shaping up to to be one of the best Sweet 16s of all time with top-three seeds alive by the dozen. So who's heading back home in time for the weekend and whose moment will continue to be oh so shining? Find out as we rank the last 16 teams and explain why your favorite team is going to lose. We're 15/16 certain of it.
Traffic in South Florida delayed both schools team buses from arriving at the site of the BCS national title game on time as scheduled, a trivial tidbit to the season's final game you'd be excused for not knowing.
Oklahoma's record-setting offensive unit did eventually make it, but if you watched Florida's 24-14 win over the Sooners, you'd be excused for not knowing that either.
Because what took the field was trivial compared to the biblical 702-point offense that burned through the Big 12 and burned out scoreboards.
After a season in which they spent more time scoring in the 60s than Tiger Woods in his best week, Oklahoma's high-octane offense played like it had a pound of sugar in its gas tank, a herky-jerky rendering of a once prolific offense.
It was less like they were playing football and more like every member of the team had been simultaneously asked to recite the alphabet backwards. It was like watching Usain Bolt run the 100-meters only after twirling around enough to make himself dizzy.
And in the end it rendered 360 yards. Two interceptions. Fourteen measly points.
One awfully familiar feeling.
Another year, another bowl loss for Oklahoma. And it only seems to be getting worse.
It's hard to imagine how a college football game could get more attention than Saturday's Red River Rivalry. Maybe Army vs. Navy, if they met as armed forces instead of football teams (which, coincidentally, is what we imagine a Tank Johnson family reunion might be like). Maybe Southern Cal vs. Notre Dame ... if Charlie Weis wore a song girls outfit. Or Maybe Michigan vs. Ohio State ... if Jim Tressel eschewed what's in his underwear drawer for what's in Marv Albert's.
But only maybe.
On the eve of Saturday's showdown at the State Fair, No. 5 Texas and No. 1 Oklahoma couldn't have more of the nation's attention if they were announcing a solution to the financial crisis on the finale of 'American Idol.'
And for good reason. Saturday's game should not only sort out the Big 12 South, but the BCS picture as well. That it will likely add another chapter to a rivalry that predates Oklahoma's statehood, determine a Heisman front-runner and be the best television of the football season not involving the Lingerie Football League is just mustard on the Fletcher's corn dog or icing on the Fried Twinkie.
(And thankfully, this game of the week is at noon instead of the usual night matinee that leaves us ready for a nap somewhere in the third quarter, which is a little too Joe Paterno for our tastes.)
But Saturday's State Fair showdown could be more coronation than rivalry.
Because if you think the stock market crash hit hard and fast, you haven't seen the Oklahoma offense.
In case you've missed the FanHouse's awesomely awesome and fantastic Spring Practice Questions, I've cobbled together the "Complete Series" for Big 12 teams.
Seriously, read these, folks. They're about football. And right now the sporting world isn't about football. And you're dying for more football. That's why you're here. To endure this choppy writing of mine. And read these Big 12 Spring Practice Questions. The complete series. Below.
Earlier today we regaled you with the tale of Markish Jones, the South Carolina wide receiver who announced he was going to Clemson, signed a LOI, and then faxed a different signed LOI to Florida State an hour later, declaring him the "Least Decisive Person In The World." We now endeavor to post a correction.
You see, Oklahoma cornerback Ryan Broyles was offered by Oklahoma State. He accepted, and hours later he was offered by OU. A week later, he decommitted to the Sooners. Wow, that's pretty indecisve, you're probably saying. You're probably thinking that guy really needs to focus on what he wants. And this is before I've told you that two days after Broyles decommitted from Oklahoma State, he decommitted from Oklahoma and recommitted to Oklahoma State. And now you're like wow. That's pretty freakin' indecisive right there. That guy is a guy who seriously needs to think things through before making "commitments" that have a half-life that can be measured in hours.
Oklahoma's Courtney Paris will put her money where her promise is.
Hey, it's always football season at FanHouse. Welcome to "Greetings From Flyover Country," a new weekly feature that will keep you up to date on Big Ten, Big 12, and MAC football. We'll also cover any Midwestern stories which have national repercussions, along with rounding up the week's arrests and suspensions.
Somewhere along the way, someone convinced North Carolina coach Roy Williams that he should always open with a joke.
MEMPHIS – After Roy Williams answered his last question Sunday night at the press conference following his Tar Heels' easy 72-60 win over Oklahoma to advance to next weekend's Final Four, a North Carolina sports information official barked out some trivia for the departing media: the Tar Heels won for the first time all season with forward Tyler Hansbrough, the defending player of the year, and shooting guard Wayne Ellington failing to score in double figures.
Traffic in South Florida delayed both schools team buses from arriving at the site of the BCS national title game on time as scheduled, a trivial tidbit to the season's final game you'd be excused for not knowing.
It's hard to imagine how a college football game could get more attention than Saturday's Red River Rivalry. Maybe Army vs. Navy, if they met as armed forces instead of football teams (which, coincidentally, is what we imagine a Tank Johnson family reunion might be like). Maybe Southern Cal vs. Notre Dame ... if Charlie Weis wore a song girls outfit. Or Maybe Michigan vs. Ohio State ... if Jim Tressel eschewed what's in his underwear drawer for what's in Marv Albert's.
Earlier today we regaled you with the tale of Markish Jones, the South Carolina wide receiver who announced he was going to Clemson, signed a LOI, and then faxed a different signed LOI to Florida State an hour later, declaring him the "Least Decisive Person In The World." We now endeavor to post a correction.
