FanHouse PatRiley

ORLANDO -- The Eastern Conference final against the Cleveland Cavaliers hasn't even started yet, but Magic coach Stan Van Gundy already conceded one aspect of the series to Cavs Coach Mike Brown.

Van Gundy can't dress as well.

Van Gundy is one of the few no-tie coaches in the league, always trying to mix and match his collection of button down shirts and open collar looks. And he still finishes each game looking like he stepped out of a washing machine.

"I could go out and buy a $10,000 suit, and lot of other guys would buy a $200 suit, and they'd still look better than I do,'' Van Gundy said after Tuesday's practice. That's just the way it is when you look like me.''

TEQUESTA, Fla. -- This looked like a Bad Boys reunion.

The NBA came from around the country Wednesday to celebrate the life and mourn the death of Chuck Daly, but nothing was more impressive than his collection of pallbearers.

It was the nucleus of his two championship teams in Detroit, the ones that transformed him from just another coaching lifer into a Hall of Famer and Olympic Gold Medalist revered by all.

Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Vinnie Johnson, Rick Mahorn and Bill Laimbeer were at his side. The Bad Boy Pistons and their leader one final time.

"I think when you go through the things we did together, there is a bond that never breaks,'' said Laimbeer. "This was a sad time, but a time to celebrate who he was, and what he did, and how loved he was.''

The Miami Heat made it official on Wednesday. They're the worst team remaining in the NBA playoffs. That's just one conclusion you can draw after Atlanta won Game 5 over Miami 106-91 to go up 3-2 in the series.

How can the Heat be anything other than the worst team remaining when they came into the playoffs as an underdog and, now, Dwyane Wade is not 100 percent? Hey, it's just another way of saying that coach Erik Spoelstra is doing a great coaching job.

Miami was down 23 points at halftime, and the only reason to watch the remaining 24 was to find out who was going to commit the next hard foul and who was going to be on the receiving end of it.

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Go ahead, call me a sap -- I've been called much worse. For some reason, jersey retirement ceremonies get me every time, and Alonzo Mourning's was no exception. Sure, Pat Riley's comments were cliche, and the Creed song was a poor choice. But Mourning becoming the first actual member of the team to have his jersey raised to the rafters (Michael Jordan and Dan Marino had their numbers retired for some reason as well) was awesome, and of course, well-deserved.

If you thought that the first wave of comments lobbed by Shaquille O'Neal at his former coach were stiff, wait until you hear the extended remix.

The Arizona Republic has the entirety of Shaq's verbal beat down of Stan Van Gundy, but he's not the only one O'Neal goes after. Patrick Ewing and Dwight Howard caught some shrapnel as well.

The most interesting part of this latest feud that Shaq is pursuing isn't his extended attack, though. It's the fact that he basically starts World War III in response to some fairly innocuous comments that came from Van Gundy during the Suns' game in Orlando.

The wild weekend has begun: ESPN reports that Toronto has (finally) sent Jermaine O'Neal and Jamario Moon to Miami for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. This ends the Heat's participation in those Amare Stoudemire rumors. (It also decreases the Brad Miller market by 100%.)

Yahoo!'s Adrian Wojnarowski reports Miami boss Pat Riley is seriously considering sending Shawn Marion to Toronto in exchange for Jermaine O'Neal. That the Raptors want to exile J.O. is not a surprise; the match with Chris Bosh has been nothing like a match, and Andrea Bargnani's sudden arrival makes the $20 million man superfluous at best.

That begs the question, though: why on Earth would Riley pick O'Neal of all available centers?

Stephon Marbury and the Knicks might still be haggling over the details, but there's little doubt that a divorce is coming soon. So what then? Is he really so poisonous that there's not a single team in the league willing to take a flyer on him?

I don't think so. Playing for one of the league's most dysfuctional franchises in the country's biggest media market can make anybody look bad. I'm not trying to absolve Marbury of fanning the flames, but there are a lot of players around the league who are just as much of a head case but manage to fly under the radar simply because they don't play in New York.

Plus, when he does hit the market, he'll almost certainly be on his best behavior in hopes of salvaging his reputation. And with the Knicks on the hook for most of his salary, he'll likely sign for a prorated share of the veteran's minimum. Despite all the controversy surrounding him the last few years, he'd be a low-risk gamble, especially on a team with strong locker room personalities willing to keep him in his place.

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It doesn't seem that long ago that the Southeast was an afterthought. I'm aware that sounds stupid as this division attempts to rise to serious L-bound prominence, but it's true -- before Dwight Howard and before Dwyane Wade and before Josh Smith and before Jeff McInnis ... what was there?

It doesn't particularly matter now; the division is still only an erstwhile powerhouse; you would never see a prediction coming that any one of these teams can contend for the NBA title right now, and that's what matters in these sort of things.

Of course, Orlando is a different story of sorts. Maybe. At least we have to wonder: Does Hedo Turkoglu Still Have the Special Sauce?

There had been rumblings over the internet for about the past month that Michael Beasley was involved in the incident at the NBA Rookie Transition Program. He was originally listed in a report by ESPN, but that report was later edited to remove the section involving Beasley, the #2 pick in the draft who just happens to be working with ESPN on a series of features on his life as a rookie. The rumors persisted, but nothing solid ever came out. Then last week a photo made it's way around the internet that showed Beasley with Mario Chalmers, with Chalmers holding something that looked very much like a marijuana cigarette, though the origins of the photo remain unknown.

The league today announced that they had fined Beasley $50,000, more than twice the amount they fined Chalmers and Darrell Arthur, for his involvement at the NBA Rookie Transition program, as well as for interfering with the NBA's investigation.

This has several effects. First off, it furthers an increasingly popular viewpoint that Beasley is relatively unstable when it comes to character issues. While he seems likable, harmless, and fun, he's also known to be fiercely independent and flippant towards strict rules. This definitely fits in line with that. Second, it calls into question just who was responsible for the efforts to control the story. If it was Beasley's people, this is not the kind of thing that Pat Riley is known to take lightly. That's going to be an uncomfortable situation. It also calls into question the original ESPN report, and whether or not ESPN was involved in an effort to keep Beasley's name out of the story.

Either way, that's a lot of scratch, and we still don't know to what degree Beasley was involved in the incident that involved marijuana, the use of which both Chalmers and Arthur have both denied.