FanHouse Patriotgate

Tell me if this sounds familiar: U.S. senator crusades to end corruption, except nobody cares because: a) instead of targeting lobbyists or corporate negligence, it's a professional sports team, and b) this in no way helps his constituents.

Well, Arlen Specter, the gentleman from Pennsylvania, has decided that Spygate is, in fact, not over. Again. (He's the Brett Favre of Capitol Hill, but with fewer career interceptions.) Which means that after proclaiming the investigation dead on June 17, and then, three days later, leaving open the possibility that he wasn't necessarily finished wasting taxpayer dollars, Specter has decided that the Republican National Convention was the perfect time to get his name back in the paper.

"I don't do anything except with vigor," Specter told the Track yesterday ... "I think there will be more on the issue of irregularities with the NFL. I published a report in June that gave my position, but there will be more aspects of this that need to be examined."

Enjoy your heaping dose of vigor, Pennsylvania residents, because unless you work for Comcast, the guy you elected to represent you won't be doing his job. Apparently, the NFL needs saving and Specter's just the man to do it, although he readily admits he can't do anything for the Redskins offense.

via PFT

All Kevin Faulk wanted to do was see Lil' Wayne at the Cajundome. During a random security check, four marijuana cigarettes were found on his person, and he was subsequently slapped with a misdemeanor possession charge. And worse, he missed Lil' Wayne.

It's even less of a big deal than it sounds, but the incident was just one more dark (ganja) cloud hanging over the Patriots organization, following the whole Spygate mess, not to mention Nick Kaczur's pill-popping habit.

Well, the NFL has decreed, justice has been meted, and Faulk will be an observer when the Pats open the season against the Chiefs on Sunday.

Kevin Faulk ... has been suspended without pay for the team's first regular-season game and fined one additional game check for violating the NFL Substance Abuse Policy.

Faulk's suspension for the Patriots' first regular-season game will begin on Saturday, August 30. He is eligible to return to the Patriots' active roster on Monday, September 8 following the team's September 7 opener against the Kansas City Chiefs.

Shouldn't be a problem, though; Tom Brady, fresh off an extended vacation that included not taking one snap this preseason because of a bum foot, should be raring to go come Sunday.

We're less than three weeks away from the start of the 2008 season, and for the Patriots, it can't come soon enough. After the humiliating Super Bowl defeat at the hands of the underdog Giants, and the subsequent Spygate investigation (as well as other, more nefarious* rumors), the organization is ready to put 2007 behind them and get back to the business of DOMINATING opponents.

And maybe this season, they'll do it 19 times in a row. But there was still one loose end to tie up from last year's ultimately disappointing effort: the presentation of the 2007 AFC Championship rings. And, yes, it's a lot less glamorous than it sounds.

In the end, after declaring the season the fourth-greatest achievement in team history, [Patriots officials] elected to have a private ceremony to commemorate it last Monday at Gillette Stadium.

Owner Robert Kraft and team president Jonathan Kraft presented the players with rings. On one side of the ring, it reads "16-0 -- perfect season." On the other, it reads "18-1, AFC Championship."

Bill Belichick added: "It was a very special and historic year, and I want them to look back with pride when they look at the ring and remember the week-to-week approach." Translation: "This thing is going in the garage with my Cleveland Browns butterfly collar coaching shirts. Last year was a monumental waste of time. Eric Mangini's ass is grass."

Too bad this was a private affair; NFL Network could've charged $49.99 and fans of the 31 other teams would've happily paid it for a hour's worth of schadenfreude-tastic television.

* "nefarious" = "eyeball-gouging and vomit-inducing"

Dear Lord, thank you for Clinton Portis and blog wars, but mostly for Clinton Portis because he doesn't take himself quite so seriously.

Dan Steinberg writes that the artist also known as "Southeast Jerome", "Coach Janky Spanky", "Bro Sweets", "Choo-Choo", "Sheriff Gonnagetcha", and "Dolemite Jenkins", unveiled four new characters this week, and he's looking for YOUR help on which one to debut to the Washington-area media this fall.

You can see all four characters and vote here, but if Dr. Do Itch Big doesn't win, the whole thing is rigged. Just like Spygate, which means we can expect Senator Arlen Specter to get involved, and, really, nobody wants that.

According to his bio, Do Itch Big is a dentist who does his own work (of course he does), and goes by the motto, "Cleaning up the NFL one mouth at a time." And then there's this fun fact: "The good doctor started his bicuspid crusade by enhancing the grills of former Giants DE Michael Strahan and Bills RB Marshawn Lynch." Nice.

Sad news for conspiracy theorist and people who have trouble letting things go: Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter has apparently given up his fight to drag out the Spygate drama for the rest of the summer and potentially into the 2008 season. Too bad too, because he was so close to nailing Bill Belichick's ass to the wall. Or something.

Specter told the Philadelphia Daily News' editorial board that "I've gone as far as I can," something he could've declared two or three months ago, I'd think.

Specter, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, has criticized [NFL Commissioner Roger] Goodell's investigation and said he would like the league to conduct a more independent investigaton, much like Major League Baseball did with alleged steroid use by some players.

Specter said he didn't call the matter before the Judiciary Committee because it already has "too much to do." And he said he's "not interested" in recent allegations made by former NBA referee Tim Donaghy that the league asked some refs to manipulate games to boost ratings or ticket sales.

Yes, because the Judiciary Committee didn't have a lot to do before this week. In any event, Specter will instead focus on an issue that might actually interest his constituents: public financing of stadiums. "Specter said taxpayers should not have to foot any of the bill for stadium construction for NFL owners, who enjoy an antitrust exemption."

Sure, Specter's not interested in addressing outrageous gas prices, or the mortgage crisis, but as long as he's not talking about Spygate, he's got my support. Of course, I don't live in Pennsylvania, but whatever.

Shocking news out of New England: a Patriot official says that Nick Kaczur's arrest for illegally possessing OxyContin and taking part in a DEA sting operation to bust his supplier, is a team matter. Weird. I expected head coach Billy Belichick to fully address the matter following the first day of mandatory minicamp on Friday.

In the meantime, Kaczur, an offensive lineman, practiced with the team, although he wasn't made available to the media. Probably a good thing, since it'll save us all the trouble of reading, "Yeah, I can't comment on my love for prescription painkillers, or the fact that I set up a drug dealer. You understand."

It sounds like this could drag on for some time, which might prompt the Patriots to cut ties with Kaczur just to put it behind them. Two reasons why that may not happen: first, Kaczur's a starter, and for all that's seemingly perfect with New England's offense, the line isn't good enough to jettison players just because they get arrested.

Second, at this point, the Pats are used to off-field distractions, so it's not like they can't deal with it. As long as John Tomase doesn't write about it, anyway.

Senator Arlen Specter sure is tenacious ... about wanting to see the New England Patriots punished for Spygate. Yesterday, in an effort to avoid becoming less relevant, the Pennsylvania senator repeated calls for the NFL to hire outside investigators to look into the Patriots' illegal videotaping habits.

"After thinking and rethinking this matter, it is hard for me to understand the willingness of the public, the media and even the NFL to accept the status quo," Specter wrote. "There is no higher value in our society than integrity. Americans' addiction to sports, with the NFL at the top, is based on the excitement generated by the potential for the unexpected great play which can only happen with honest competition from great athletes. The clouds are heavy and getting heavier."

"Plus" he added, "Comcast really would like to get in on the NFL Sunday Ticket action."*

Boring.

Fortunately, no one takes Specter seriously; most of us have moved on with their lives, are looking forward to the 2008 season. Even Bill Parcells. Apparently feeling loquacious after opening up about Jason Taylor, Parcells offered this on the whole sordid ordeal:

"I think it was overblown. If the competition is victimized by someone spying on you - if that happened - it's your fault because you could take precautions to keep that from happening if you're smart enough."

Translation: "I taught Belichick everything he knows." Or maybe, like everybody but Specter, Parcells is tired of hearing about it.

* Specter didn't really say that. Out loud.

If it wasn't blindingly obvious before now, I think this should remove all doubt: we've reached the point in the Spygate saga where Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is clowning senator Arlen Specter. Specter has tenaciously pursued the truth since the Boston Herald's John Tomase broke the story that would eventually bring down an empire.*

Last week Specter called for a Mitchell Report-like investigation of the Patriots, which prompted senator Ted Kennedy -- and just about everybody else -- to suggest Specter get a hobby.

On Tuesday, reporters asked Jones about Specter's call for an independent investigation into Spygate:

"I know there is no question he is a fabulous friend of Comcast," Jones said with a smile. "The world knows that. But that's OK. Everybody's got friends, everybody's got constituencies. Everybody has that. But it really should be pointed out that he is sensitive in this particular case."

With the subtlety of a tire iron to the face, Jones puts the whole saga in perspective. Of course, as Jones points out, "the world knows" Specter's motives aren't all that noble, which makes the whole charade somehow more absurd.

* slight exaggeration and a tad misleading

Yesterday I mentioned that Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis, formerly of the New England Patriots, isn't interested in discussing Spygate. Even though he benefited from the team's illegal taping practices if you believe Matt Walsh.

Today, on Dan Patrick's radio show, Hall of Fame quarterback and ESPN football analyst Steve Young shared his newly evolving thoughts on Weis:

"I remember thinking to myself during some of the runs, 'Charlie Weis is a genius,'" Young said. "I mean, I remember saying that to people: 'This guy is uncanny, how he's able to make these adjustments and just come out and dominate in the second half.' What it's left me to do is, well, I don't know. Did it matter? I could see how it could matter if you put it all together. So it's a tough one. I think that people earn it on the field, and I think you've got to move on and move forward and just recognize that it's not a good thing at the time."

As Michael David Smith writes on PFT, Young admitted that if an offense knew what play the defense was running, "The game would be over. If I knew what was coming, that's the whole game." He then added, "Of course, [Sean] Salisbury could have the defense scream the play across the line of scrimmage to him and he'd still throw three or four picks a game; for everybody else, though, it's a huge advantage."*

Charlie Weis was the New England Patriots offensive coordinator from 2000-2004 before taking the Notre Dame head coaching gig. His five years in Foxboro put him right in the middle of the scandal that refuses to die: Spygate.

And according to the unfailingly credible Matt Walsh, Weis not only knew of the team's illegal taping practices, but benefited from them. In an interview with the New York Times, Walsh cited a 2000 game against the Buccaneers as an example:

"I asked one of our quarterbacks if the information that I provided was beneficial in any way," Walsh told the Times. "He said, 'Actually, probably about 75 percent of the time, Tampa Bay ran the defense we thought they were going to run. If not more.' "

In the HBO interview, Walsh said this unnamed quarterback learned the Buccaneers' defensive signals from the exhibition tapes, then read them and relayed them to Weis during the regular-season game.

The Chicago Tribune's Brian Hamilton wonders how complicit Weis was in Bill Belichick's nefarious plot for world domination, but wisely, Weis ain't talking.