The Tampa Bay Rays rose to prominence this past baseball season and reached the World Series before their year ended on a sour note by losing to the Philadelphia Phillies, but as it turns out, it won't be just Rays players and fans who finish the year with a bitter taste in their mouths. For poor Kelly Frank, the end of the World Series wasn't just the end of her dream of seeing the Rays win the World Series, it was also the end of her being able to call herself employed.
Now the name Kelly Frank probably doesn't ring a bell for you, but that's because you know her better by her stage name. She goes by the name Raymond, and she really knows how to shake her moneymaker, though the Rays recently told her she won't be shaking it for them again anytime soon.
Performer Kelly Frank, the woman who perfected Raymond's trademark butt shimmy, said she does not know why she was fired Monday after five seasons with the Tampa Bay Rays.
"I'm just as confused as everyone else," she said. "I really didn't get an explanation."
Not only did Kelly not get an explanation for her dismissal, but she's more confused than ever after being told by the organization that she "out-enthused" the Phillie Phanatic during the World Series. Fear not for Ms. Frank, though, as she'll continue to create mascot costumes for other teams like the Florida Gators and Denver Nuggets.
If there's any good news to come out of this, it's that all those male Rays fans who secretly found themselves turned on by Raymond's Butt Shimmy can take comfort knowing that it was a woman inside that costume.
What's great is that that guy on the right can reuse his sign if it doesn't snow in Philadelphia until January. Why did he draw snowflakes in the corners? Did he need to fill the negative space that badly? Maybe this is his 756th sign and there was a problem.
In case you did not read part 1 and are unable to scroll your browser down slightly, tonight's Dugout is a two-parter that seeks to celebrate the accomplishment that is winning a World Series and condemn any team that did not win said Series as a "bad team." Maybe it's the Cleveland sports fan in me. If you made it to the World Series and won 1 game your season has ended in SHAME and MISERY for all who support you! Sign Mark Teixeira and call me when it's next September!
Wait, what am I typing again? Part 2 actually contains an undercurrent of "yay Phillies" while maintaining that "uh oh, everyone else" thing I've been bred to feel. Part 2 of 2 is after the jump.
I don't know about you, but I can tell the difference between a hot dog and a bomb. One of the two comes in many shapes and sizes, but there are usually a bunch of different colored wires, a clock, and an unmistakable ticking noise. The other is a tube filled with some kind of meat, a lot of sodium, fat, and nitrates, and can be found all over your local baseball stadium.
Now I've never been to Philadelphia's Citizens Bank Ballpark, but I'm pretty sure they sell hot dogs there. Which is why you would think the people there know what a hot dog is, and what it looks like, and could probably discern the difference between a hot dog and a bomb. Apparently we give the fine people of Philadelphia too much credit. From PHILLY.COM:
A Philadelphia Police Department bomb squad detonated three suspicious packages at Citizens Bank Park yesterday afternoon at 5, according to Phillies vice president Michael Stiles.
After the detonation, the area was given the all-clear and last night's Phillies-Braves game went on as scheduled at 7:05.
"It appears they're the same hot dogs the Phanatic uses to shoot into the crowd," one investigator said.
Thankfully, nobody was killed. This time.
Now, to be fair, if you put a hot dog in a microwave long enough, that sucker will explode. Still, it's not like they do a lot of damage when they do blow. They kind of just leave your microwave a mess, but it can be easily cleaned up afterward, and you generally don't need police assistance.
It's Official! Kris Bensonsigns with the Phillies! Good for him. Have you seen the Orioles motto for this season? "THIS IS BIRDLAND." That's a great way to get fans into the park. "We traded away our stars. COME SEE THE BIRD, THE ACTUAL ANIMAL THE BIRD"
With the migration of Anna Benson comes the next chapter in a Dugout story that began in the long long ago before the darkness came about how Anna would sleep with everyone on the team including the mascot if she ever caught her husband cheating. The only way this could get better for us is if she got traded to the Red Sox and got to deflower Wally the Green Monster. She would have to go into the police force and get choked by Dmitri Young to be more Dugout ready.
Anna Benson wears a jersey around her cleavage like we'd never expect and Kris Benson gets into a plane crash and misses the '08 season with a dilated brain in today's Dugout, after the jump.
Not only did the Mets take it on the chin on Monday night in Philadelphia against the Phillies, but even their mascot was hauled away by Citizens Bank Park security, albeit playfully, after trying to lead a hostile Philly crowd in song while the Mets were getting squashed.
Mr. Met was in Philadelphia along with some of the other mascots that are up for this year's Mascot Hall of Fame induction, which you can vote on here. The Phanatic is already in the hall as one of its inagural members. And right now, Mr. Met is behind the Spurs' Coyote by about 6,000 votes in this year's vote. Going into a rival visiting stadium, especially in Philadelphia, and risking your life should certainly be worth 6,000 votes ... or at least your vote. You have until September 1st to make your vote count.
Harold, buddy. Put down your popcorn and soda pop and pay attention to your woman, Ethel. Take her out to the Vet for a Phillies game, would ya? Because if you don't, the Phillie Phanatic is going to grab her through the TV screen and spit game out his beak all night at her.
The Phanatic probably even scored her one of those sweet jackets too, even though they were only for kids 14 and under. Hey, what can I say, the guy is well connected.
This rather confident 23-year-old lefty might be primed to make some noise this season. In his last 12 starts in 2006, he went 7-3 while posting a 2.70 ERA. In his most recent spring outing, Hamels pitched three scoreless innings. He is also a bold proclaimer. He's made no secret he wants to make the Hall of Fame, snatch 300 career wins and rack up 20-win seasons.
Aaron Rowand may run into a wall.
We all remember how Rowand's face ended up last year when he ran into a wall, don't we? That's just how he plays the outfield - no fear. Sure, his numbers declined last season, but it was an injury-plagued year, a season in which the Phillie outfielder missed 55 games due to injuries.
The Phillie Phanatic might get into more tomfoolery.
He already got attacked by a dog so far this year. What else will happen? Will a tiger jump out of the stands and pummel him? Will leeches (Will Leitch's) firmly adhere themselves to his snout, rendering him unconscious? If you don't watch, you won't know. Well, actually you'll probably find out through the Internet or TV. But, you won't see it live, man. Can these guys reach the playoffs after making a push for it last season?
Well, you're just going to have to watch and see, dummy.
Everybody knows the stories about the fans in Philadelphia. From booing Santa Claus to throwing batteries at J.D. Drew, there are a lot of angry people in Philly.
Most of us know also, that our pets tend to take the characteristics of us, their owners. If Phillies mascot, The Phillie Phanatic, didn't know that before yesterday, he's well aware of it now.
The Phillie Phanatic was attacked Saturday morning by 93.3 WMMR DJ and Sixers' PA announcer Matt Cord's dog Scout. Cord was on air covering the line at the Wachovia Center box office, where tickets for The Police, playing this summer at Citizens Bank Park, went on sale, according to the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS.
The Phanatic came outside of the Wachovia Center to start giving stuff away, when the mutt lunged at the lovable green goofball, prompting a man in line to shout that the dog "must be a Mets fan." The Phanatic retreated inside the Wachovia Center until Cord safely put Scout back in his car. Cord says that the dog is great with people and other dogs, and that he can't say why she went after the Phanatic, who was not injured by the canine.
I remember one time as a child I was attacked by a dog that lived down the block from me. Unlike the Phanatic, I didn't run. Nope. I'm a man. I wrestled with the doberman for 15 minutes until finally, after looking into each other's eyes, we realized we had a lot more in common than we ever thought we could. Besides our mutual bloodlust, we both really enjoyed peeing on trees.
We became best friends, his name was Charlie. Charlie and I went to the park together constantly, where I would point out kids he should kill, and he would. It was great fun!
The Tampa Bay Rays rose to prominence this past baseball season and reached the World Series before their year ended on a sour note by losing to the Philadelphia Phillies, but as it turns out, it won't be just Rays players and fans who finish the year with a bitter taste in their mouths. For poor Kelly Frank, the end of the World Series wasn't just the end of her dream of seeing the Rays win the World Series, it was also the end of her being able to call herself employed.
What's great is that that guy on the right can reuse his sign if it doesn't snow in Philadelphia until January. Why did he draw snowflakes in the corners? Did he need to fill the negative space that badly? Maybe this is his 756th sign and there was a problem.
I don't know about you, but I can tell the difference between a hot dog and a bomb. One of the two comes in many shapes and sizes, but there are usually a bunch of different colored wires, a clock, and an unmistakable ticking noise. The other is a tube filled with some kind of meat, a lot of sodium, fat, and nitrates, and can be found all over your local baseball stadium.
It's Official! 
Two words: Cole Hamels.
Everybody knows the stories about the fans in Philadelphia. From booing Santa Claus to throwing batteries at J.D. Drew, there are a lot of angry people in Philly. 
