FanHouse Randall Simon

While Pedro Martinez was spinning three scoreless innings against the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic, his former team was busy watching a parade of ineptitude compete for the fifth and final starting rotation spot.

As outlined in the New York Post, all the candidates for the fifth starter spot are having a rough go as of late. Tim Redding -- the front-runner -- was knocked around by the University of Michigan, as was Freddy Garcia. Bobby Parnell allowed five baserunners in five batters faced against the Nationals. Meanwhile, Pedro threw three scoreless frames for the D.R.

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Though it is being greeted largely with yawns of indifference, the World Baseball Classic is less than 24 hours away. OK, so maybe it is a far cry from Opening Day. Maybe we aren't sure how to feel about a tournament that's supposed to crown a true world champion, but is unforgiving to the point that two losses equal elimination. Maybe we don't know what to make of a tournament that is supposed to be chock full of national pride and pageantry, but is an afterthought to many of our favorite stars.

There are some baseball players destined to be never forgotten, completely regardless of their actual baseball abilities. Randall Simon is one of those players. In the early part of his career, he was briefly featured in the famous John Rocker Sports Illustrated story as a player that Rocker had referred to be a racial epithet. Later, he moved on to Pittsburgh and even a stint in Baseball Siberia wasn't enough to keep Simon off the radar. In July of 2003, he took his bat and knocked the Italian Sausage off her feet and into the Polish Sausage during the nightly Sausage Race at Miller Park. The tragic or hilarious (depending on your perspective) video is embedded above.