FanHouse Rich Rodriguez

For the second consecutive season under coach Rich Rodriguez, Michigan will not be going to a bowl game.

In two seasons, Rich Rod has racked up a 8-16 overall record, beaten down the Michigan fan base to such a degree that Ohio State scarlet and gray filled up many of the best seats in the Big House this past Saturday, and left my wife, a Michigan alum, refusing to watch their games on television. "I'm already over Rich Rod," she's said on many occasions.

Now as Michigan enters the long, difficult winter of Wolverine discontent, there's a real issue that has to be decided. If you don't think Rich Rod is going to get it done at the school, you need to fire him now, before the next season commences.

Why?

Because you have a legal hook that can significantly lessen the blow of the firing -- you can argue that Rich Rodriguez breached the terms of his contract by violating NCAA rules. Bang. Meet Michigan's own stimulus plan for the athletic department, firing Rich Rod for cause.

It's not nice to kick a man when he's down. In honor of that we will try to avoid the fallen bodies of Charlie Weis, Allen Iverson, Hulk Hogan, Rich Rodriguez and Caster Semenya.

As for Mark Mangino, another rule applies. If you have to kick a man when he's down, make sure he is built like a giant marshmallow so you won't hurt your foot.

So we come not to bury Mangino, but to treat him like a soccer ball. We couldn't bury him if we wanted to because the coffin construction would trigger a worldwide mahogany shortage.

And that, gentle readers, is the first of many potentially offensive references inspired by last week's biggest newsmaker. We hate to make fun of anyone, but the week was full of obesity news and Mangino earned the ridicule.

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" -- John Greenleaf Whittier

For Michigan it really might have been, if not for a dreadful game by Tate Forcier and the Wolverine offense. Rich Rodriguez's squad fell to Ohio State 21-10 today, keeping Michigan out of the postseason for the second year in a row.

Forcier threw four interceptions. He also fumbled in Michigan's end zone on the Wolverines' opening drive, which OSU recovered for a touchdown.

Every Thursday, Pickin' on the Big Ten previews the upcoming weekend's games and ponders the meaning of it all, staring into the yawning existential void and calling a fullback dive on third-and-seven.

With one more loss, Michigan will become ineligible for a bowl game for the second season in a row. This has not happened since W.A. "Brad" Thornwhistle's disastrous first two seasons in 1847 and 1848. To avoid this horrible dishonor, all the Wolverines have to do is to beat Ohio State on Saturday. That will keep them alive for the Little Caesar's Pizza! Pizza! Bowl Bowl.

Every Thursday, Pickin' on the Big Ten previews the weekend's games so Big Ten haters can get even more nervous.

I don't know if you've noticed, but the rest of the college football universe is sort of obsessed right now. They have a deep, lingering fear of Iowa winding up in the BCS Championship Game. That, to them, could only mean one of two things. The Hawkeyes could get blown out in a total snoozer. That would be bad. They could also win, which would be worse. Now what conference would they have to say is overrated? Their own?

It's a claim that Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez has been fond of making: The football team during his tenure has had the highest cumulative grade point average ever recorded at Michigan.

But there's just one problem: Rodriguez had no basis for making that claim. He admitted on Wednesday that he actually doesn't know whether the current Michigan team has a higher GPA than past Michigan teams because Michigan keeps no record about its football team's cumulative GPA.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten tries to make sense out of the upcoming weekend's games.

It was not supposed to be like this for Mark Dantonio and the Michigan State Spartans. Sure, they lost in the Capital One Bowl last season, but not by much, which is why many people tagged them as the Big Ten's third-best team going into this year. It was going to be hard to replace Brian Hoyer and Javon Ringer, but at long last things were looking up for Sparty.

Now, after a heart-shattering 1-3 start, things are still looking up, if only because "up" is the only direction left. Now it's time to pull the wreckage of this season out of the ditch to see what can be salvaged.

The Big Ten has announced that Michigan linebacker Jonas Mouton will be suspended one game for punching Notre Dame center Eric Olsen on Saturday, taking a stand and disciplining one of its players after Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez failed to do so.

Michigan linebacker Jonas Mouton punched Notre Dame center Eric Olsen in the second quarter of Michigan's victory on Saturday, and although the officials missed it, it's clear to see: Plain as day in the video above, Mouton delivers a right uppercut to Olsen's chin after the play is over.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten previews the weekend's action, or lack thereof.

There are weeks when many of us would trade lives with Jim Tressel. This is not one of those weeks.

Not only did his Buckeyes fail to finish USC when they had the Trojans on the ropes, Tressel also saw "Tresselball" ripped apart by Chris Brown of Smart Football, faced a fan base who want him fired three days ago, had to lash back at some of those same fans, discovered that one of USC's touchdowns may not have happened, and now he has to face a Toledo team that just mashed Colorado into goo.

Yes, there are a lot of reasons why you wouldn't want to be Jim Tressel this week, but "because he's on the hot seat" isn't one of them.