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If the television thing doesn't work out for Cris Carter, he's got a future in motivational speaking. Carter was the final speaker at this week's NFL Rookie Symposium, and his message was what you might expect -- don't do drugs, don't fall for groupies, don't start a dog-fighting enterprise, so on and so forth -- but his delivery was what made it memorable.

It was part overdramatized reality teevee, part televangelist. No mention of living in a van down by the river, however. Either way, I think he got through to almost everybody.

Donte' Stallworth, in terms of how he will be treated by the American justice system, has moved past his crimes. He settled his DUI manslaughter case with the Reyes family -- and news that leaked out late last night might provide a pretty good reason as to why he settled so quickly.

Turns out that Stallworth, in addition to having imbibed in some alcohol before hitting Reyes with his car, also allegedly had marijuana in his system.

Donte' Stallworth has his life -- something that can't be said about Mario Reyes, the man he accidentally hit and killed with his car in March -- but it barely resembles the one he once knew just a few months ago.

Even though Stallworth only received 30 days in jail (followed by a year of house arrest and eight years probation, not to mention a financial settlement with Reyes' family), he was suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Worse: ha has to live with the burden of killing a man with a family as he came home from work.

The case is closed and Stallworth's fate has been determined, but yesterday the 911 call was released to the public, shedding light on how events unfolded as they happened. Via NBC Miami:

It's impossible to find an NFL head coach or general manager who is willing to say that he wants to sign Michael Vick, but former NFL coach Dennis Green, now coaching for the start-up UFL, thinks he knows where Vick will end up.

As he sees it, Bill Parcells wants Vick, and if Parcells wants something, he's going to get it. So he thinks Vick will end up as a Dolphin.

"I have a hard time believing that Michael Vick is not going to wind up with Bill Parcells, simply because he has that creativeness that says that no matter what it takes, he's going to find a way to get Michael Vick," Green told Sirius NFL Radio. "Now, whether it means convincing the commissioner or whatever it takes, Michael Vick is probably going to wind up at Miami because of the fact that Bill Parcells is Bill Parcells."

There's a lot of information about Plaxico Burress rumbling around Twitter this evening. As is so often the case in Twitterville, there are some shades of gray regarding how much of it is true and/or meaningful.

What is true is that commissioner Roger Goodell has initiated a review of Burress' self-shooting incident under the NFL's personal conduct policy. This information came courtesy of the Twitter account of Brian McCarthy (NFLprguy) at the league office, and it came about 35 minutes or so after Burress' agent, Drew Rosenhaus (RosenhausSports), tweeted that "There are now 5 teams interested in Plaxico. I expect more teams to enter the mix over the next few weeks as well."

The question is to what extent the Goodell news impacts the Rosenhaus spin.

The NFL and its players' union officially opened negotiations on a new collective bargaining agreement Wednesday, but it looks like it was just the simple beginning of what should be a very long, drawn-out process.

Union representatives weren't making any comment, and the league said it would only confirm that the meeting took place and was "the first of many." But according to a person familiar with the meeting, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and new NFLPA head DeMaurice Smith were both present. The meeting was described as "procedural." Nothing was resolved, of course, and there is currently no date set for the resumption of talks.

Tuesday morning, DeMaurice Smith, the executive director of the NFL Players Association, met with NFL officials about saving the league.

In 2011, there might not be any NFL football.

It's hard for fans to understand why owners and players, who make millions of dollars, are having problems right now in a popular sport that gets high television ratings and has two high-profile cities, New York and Dallas, in the finishing stages of building billion-dollar stadiums.

The reality is the owners are struggling and the union doesn't believe them.

Here's the deal: Upper Deck got a bunch of NFL rookies together and offered up a free autographed Michael Jordan jersey to the guy with the best touchdown celebration.

Random, sure. But also worth the four minutes you would otherwise spend staring at an Excel spreadsheet while thinking about taking a smoke break.

As far as the United States Justice system is concerned, Michael Vick has served his debt to society. He spent the last 19 months in the clink, and now he's kicking it in his mansion. The terms of his probation stipulate that he get a job (his construction gig starts next week) and remain under house arrest when he's not wearing a hard hat.

But there will come a time when he seeks to return to the NFL. The first order of business is getting commissioner Roger Goodell to reinstate him, and then finding a club interested in his services. The former will be tougher than the latter, although neither appear insurmountable.

Michael Vick's release from prison Wednesday morning in no way ensures that he's going to play in the NFL in 2009. But the mere fact that Vick is headed home has prompted a new round of speculation about which teams might be willing to give him a second chance in the NFL.