FanHouse Ronaldinho

Manchester United ... Barcelona ... the UEFA Champions League final. What more really needs to be said?

Wednesday night in Rome (ESPN, 2:25 PM ET) the best team in Europe will be crowned in a contest pitting the champions of what are considered the two top professional leagues in the world -- the (English) Premier League and La Liga. Oh right, there's the juicy subplot between two of the world's best players, too, with Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi squaring off at the Stadio Olimpico.

Last week, I looked at the roster for Argentina's Olympic men's soccer team and declared them the prohibitive favorites. Our friends from Brazil might have something to say about that.

Brazil announced it's Olympic men's soccer roster yesterday, and it features none other than Ronaldinho and Robinho as two of its overage players. It also features AC Milan's teenage striker Alexandre Pato, Manchester City new boy Jo, Manchester United midfielder Anderson, Werder Bremen scoring machine Diego and Real Madrid fullback Marcelo.

I suspect Big Ronnie is on this roster primarily to help him shed a few pounds. I'm sure the fresh air in Beijing will do wonders for him.

Brazil is in Group C with Belgium, China and New Zealand, which looks like a cupcake schedule on paper. It also puts them on the opposite side of the bracket as Argentina, so a Brazil v. Argentina final seems quite plausible. Brazil knocked off Argentina in the final of last summer's Copa America with a fairly young squad.

Also, Brazil has never won gold in Olympic soccer. Clearly, they want it now. Perhaps they need it. Brazilians have lost some confidence in their football after the national team fell behind in World Cup Qualifying and Fluminese lost to Ecuadorian club LDU Quito in the Copa Libertadores final. Could their first Olympic gold bring back the magic? Or will this competition knock Brazil back even further?

What is it about Brazilian soccer superstars and their inability to control their appetites as they push 30?

First, Ronaldo got a million choruses of "Who Ate All the Pies" shouted at him. Now Ronaldinho, at the ripe old age of 28, puts on an oversized red T-shirt and ... well, around the midsection, that's pretty much how I would look in an oversized red T-shirt, and I sit in front of a computer all day. What isn't this man eating?

Amazingly, photos like this (and like this) somehow haven't deterred some Premier League clubs from their pursuit of Big Ronnie. The cynic in me looks at Manchester City's £19 million signing of Brazilian striker Jo from CSKA Moscow and wonders if owner Thaksin Shinawatra specifically targeted Jo to try and land Ronaldinho. Sure, Jo's 30 goals in 53 appearances for CSKA speak for themselves, but two Brazilians and a Benjani up front? Wouldn't Mark Hughes love that?

Chelsea is also in the running, in no small part because Luiz Felipe Scolari coached Ronaldinho to a World Cup with Brazil in 2002. Judging from this photo, though, whoever gets Big Ronnie will have a pretty tall task whipping him back into playing shape. If he gets any bigger, EA Sports will have no choice but to plump up his Mii.

In case you hadn't heard, Spanish superclub Barcelona is one of three European clubs that will be touring the U.S. this summer. Premier League clubs Everton and West Ham are also coming to America, though unless Everton nabs Michael Bradley, Barcelona will likely be the biggest draw.

Here's the real question about Barcelona, though: who's going to play for them?

New manager Pep Guardiola announced Tuesday that the club is "contemplating the future without" Ronaldinho, Samuel Eto'o and Deco. Barcelona finished 3rd in La Liga last season, and Guardiola was brought in to reshape the lineup and save it from the feuding that cost the club an automatic bid to the Champions League group stage. From the sound of it, Guardiola is ready to chop anyone not named Messi.

What's more, Guardiola seems eager to bring in a world-class striker as soon as possible, and various reports say he's got his sights set on either Arsenal's Emmanuel Adebayor and Tottenham Hotspur's Dimitar Berbatov. Selling both Ronaldinho and Eto'o, who feuded openly last season, should help pay for one of those guys. It should also be a sign that Thierry Henry's MLS career could begin about a year from now.

A.C. Milan is reported targeting Eto'o, while Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra remains eager to pour his cash into Ronaldinho's coffers. I can already hear many a chorus of "Who Ate All the Pies?" in England next season.

In Thailand, Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra went from prime minister to exile to fugitive in a fairly short period of time. Over the weekend in England, Shinawatra picked up another descriptor.

Rube.

Less than a week after Roberto de Assis Moreira, Ronaldinho's brother and agent, visited Manchester City for a VIP lunch and a chat about his client's possible Premier League future, Ronaldinho secured a 'general agreement' with A.C. Milan and will join the Italian club once it agrees to a transfer deal with Barcelona.

Indeed, the Brazilian superstar was never going to join a non-elite Premier League club like Manchester City. His brother was just angling for a free meal, and Shinawatra was more than happy to give him one. In what other sport can you dupe a deposed prime minister like that? Clearly, I'm in the wrong business.

Ronaldinho would join fellow Brazilians Kaká, and Alexandre Pato and, if his knee heals properly, Ronaldo. Meanwhile, Kevin Fylan at Reuters Soccer Blog questions whether Milan is a good fit for Ronaldinho. Perhaps the real question is how much he still cares. At 28, he's already won a World Cup, Copa America, a European Cup and two La Liga titles, not to mention tons of player of the year awards. What's left for him to accomplish?

For a guy who has completely fallen out of favor at his club and is surrounded by rumors of partying until the wee hours of the morning every night, Ronaldinho sure is finding lots of interest from other clubs out there.

Not only does the Barcelona striker have two clubs in Milan ready to bid for his services, but now it appears that his brother, Roberto de Assis Moreira, who is also the Brazilian star's agent, had a nice long visit with Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra last weekend.

Of course, some would say Assis has never turned down a free meal from a soccer club and would fly to Seattle tomorrow if Paul Allen was picking up the tab. Still, this isn't the first rumor involving Man City and a big-name striker in this summer's transfer window. Some reports have the club preparing a £32 million bid for Tottenham Hotspur forward Dimitar Berbatov. They could probably get Ronaldinho from Barca for something close to that. The only question is whether he could accept playing for a club that isn't likely to be in any European competitions next season. That alone gives A.C. Milan and Inter Milan an edge here.

Meanwhile, Man City manager Sven-Goran Eriksson hasn't been this excited since he busted out that pimp costume. Nice look for him, too.

When you're one of the biggest soccer stars in Brazil, you're in high demand at parties, and it's easy to get distracted. How distracted? Ask Ronaldinho, the Barcelona star who reportedly partied until 11:00 AM in Brazil after his home country's win over Ecuador in a World Cup qualifying match. His Brazil teammate Robinho, who plays for Real Madrid, only lasted until 5:00 AM, but at one point he asked a security guard to fetch him 40 condoms. That "voluptuous blonde" with whom he was dancing must have stolen all his energy.

Unfortunately, she also stole his spot in the Real Madrid lineup. Robinho was dropped for last weekend's match against Espanyol. Likewise, Barca removed Ronaldinho from the lineup for their match against Villareal after he proved unfit to play last Friday. Real and Barca both lost, and Ronnie remains unable to shake the perception that he would rather party than play for his club.

Barca better hope Ronaldinho stayed out of the clubs in advance of today's big Champions League match against blue-hot Rangers, which has suddenly become the biggest match in this round of the group stage. Elsewhere this week, Liverpool finds itself in a must-win situation in Turkey against Be?ikta?, defending European champs AC Milan face Ukrainian side Shakhtar without Dida, Chelsea hopes some people will show up for their match against German club Schalke 04, and Freddy Adu might see some playing time for Benfica when they face Celtic in Portugal.

Our pals at The Offside have a complete run down of this week's Champions League action.

Poor Ronaldinho. All he wanted to do was cook up some of his famous ribs at a Brazilian block party, but those damn video game kids just won't leave him alone. They showed him some video of himself in EA Sports' new FIFA 08 -- which, by the way, should be in stores today -- and challenged him to do exactly what the game did.

Of course, little did those brats know that the Brazilian superstar did motion capture sessions with EA Sports. So you can figure out how that video ends. Afterward, Ronnie stayed up until 3:30 AM exchanging barbecue glaze recipes with the girls at the samba club.

(H/T: Who Ate All the Pies)

Remember when we thought that Ronaldinho and Thierry Henry would be BFF at B.F.C.? They even took those dance lessons together and everything. What could have gone wrong?

As it turns out, it's not the relationship between Ronaldinho and Henry that's hurting, but instead the relationship between the superstar footballer and his club. Ronaldinho and his agent brother are suggesting that Barcelona is organizing a smear campaign against the 27-year-old Brazilian, leaking to the press that he went out partying 48 hours before a match -- which might explain his poor form early in the season, not to mention Camp Nou supporters booing him after he was substituted out of matches.

Clearly, Ronaldinho and Barca manager Frank Rijkaard aren't getting along, and Rijkaard has options upfront. Henry and Lionel Messi (Ladies...) started in Barca's 2-1 win over Sevilla on Saturday, and Samuel Eto'o could be back from a knee injury as early as next month. Barca is winning with Henry and Messi up front. They're not winning with Ronaldinho, and the club lost the La Liga crown to Real Madrid last season in part because too many games that should have been wins ended in draws.

The more successful Henry and Messi are, the more everyone at Camp Nou will wonder if they still need Ronaldinho and all his fake girlfriends to be successful. Clearly, a scapegoating may in progress, and it may end with Ronnie demanding that move to Chelsea, where Roman Abramovich is far more smitten with him than Henry is.

Hi. I was at Soldier Field for the USA-Brazil friendly today and have just returned. I'm tired. I haven't had the benefit of replay to see if the USA deserved a penalty after the Heath Pearce bomb or if the Ronaldinho free kick was set up by a legit foul or not. Also I'm not entirely sure about who did well and who didn't because of the being there thing. But we soldier on anyway. Compensation: pictures of fans tomorrow.

Well, for a few minutes the USA led Brazil; we took a picture of the scoreboard. And then, later, for like a minute, the USA had tied Brazil 2-2; we did not but should have taken a picture of the scoreboard. And even though the game ended 4-2 to the bad, the USA acquitted itself pretty well against Freakin' Brazil, standing up to the generally acclaimed best team ever in the history of anything about as well as you could expect a bunch of dudes with a tenth of Ronaldinho's talent between them. Heck, we should get like three goals for the sweet Dempsey strike, and if you could the Onyewu own goal for us -- we scored it, after all -- the final was like 6-3, USA, which is cool.

But that's about as realistic as all those overheated "the USA will win the World Cup by 2010" predictions that popped up after 94 and then in 2002. Six years on from the latest round of unrealistic expectations, it's clear that the USA remains a threat to get out of any group that isn't the Group of Death, but do little else. The performance today was both encouraging and a stark reminder that the best answer for "when will the USA win the World Cup?" is "never." That's life as a USA soccer fan; fun can be had anyway.

After the jump: boxes! Sweet.