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As we all know, it was a rather ominous day for MLB with the Mitchell report and all. But hey, there has to be some humor in it all, right? Well, yes, thanks to Jose Conseco getting booted and Rondell White "buying something," it was a tad funny.

And to top it all off, here's Bob Ley -- or should I say STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS -- interviewing ESPN legal expert Roger Cossack. Cossack means to throw down Jason Grimsley here, but it comes out Jason Preistly. I mean, who can blame him, though: just look at Priestly. What a dreamboat.

Via AA.

See, Rondell White's smart. When he decided to buy his steroids from Kirk Radomski, he knew that leaving a paper trail might be a bad idea. So what did he do? Oh, he still wrote a check. But he wrote a disguised check. A-ha!

The above image is one of several checks White made out to Radomski (image via the Mitchell Report, natch). There's nothing especially different or interesting about this particular image ... besides the fact that White's memo is "bought something." Seriously, look right there.

Hmm, "bought steroids?" I probably shouldn't just write it like that. Bad idea, Rondell. "Bought groceries?" Naw, too obvious, and plus, not even Latrell Sprewell spends this much on groceries. Think, you idiot, think! ... I know! Bought something! Rondell, you genius! They'll never figure this out!

Next time Rondell might want to consider paying in cash. Unbelievable.

(HT: Our own T-Ziller for the find.)

Twins outfielder Rondell White revealed Monday that he's "99 percent" sure he will retire after this season. I'm sure the news confused baseball fans outside of Minnesota, who were convinced White had already retired two years ago:

"I missed four months this year. My body hurts," the 35-year-old White said Monday before facing the Detroit Tigers, one of his former teams. "There's a good chance this is it."
...
After going 1-for-4 in Minnesota's 2-0 win at Detroit on Monday night, he is hitting .158 with three homers and 15 RBIs in 101 at-bats over 35 games.

Those numbers are amazingly bad -- talk about misreading when to time your exit. Needless to say, that's not quite what the Twins thought there were going to get when they inked White to a one-year, $2.75 million deal last winter. His wife gave birth to the couple's first child on Friday, so he'll have plenty of incentive to stay at home instead of seeking out work -- especially since he'd probably draw no better than the veteran's minimum.

When asked what his favorite stop was along his big-league career, he was quick to say Montreal. I can understand him being nostalgic about the team he broke into the majors with, but playing seven years on the green concrete that was the Olympic Stadium outfield was probably one of the biggest reason's White has been so injury prone over his career. His knees were shot before he hit 30, and not once after he left the Expos did he ever tally 500 at-bats in a season.

We're only hours away from meaningful baseball, and the Minnesota Twins are already feeling disrespected. A quick look around some of the major sport sites and their predictions for 2007 show the Twins as being a fourth place team in the AL Central. What the Twins want to know is how a team with a batting champion, the reigning AL MVP, a 2-time Cy Young winner, and a terrific bullpen is going to suck so bad.

"Man, what is that?" Twins outfielder Rondell White said. "There are people who try to overanalyze way too much."

"Especially when we won the division last year," White said. "People have too much time on their hands." "We think we're OK, and we're seeded fourth," Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said. "There better be some darn good teams if we're seeded fourth."

You would think that the Twins would be used to it by now. Even when they were clearly the best team in the AL Central over the last few years, they were still doubted by many of the experts. Hell, last year everybody had them finishing in fourth place too, and they won the division.

The difference this season is that there really are some major questions in the starting rotation. Johan Santana is Johan Santana, so no worries there, but after him there are a few questions. Carlos Silva had a bad spring, and until his last start didn't have his sinker. There's also Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson who if judging by their performance the last few seasons, don't provide much hope.

Without Brad Radke and Francisco Liriano, the Twins are going to have to rely more heavily on their bullpen, and that could start to wear on them as the season progresses. When you combine all of that with the fact they play in the AL Central, a lot of the doubts about the Twins this season are justified.

It's just up to the Twins to go out and prove us all wrong again, which if they do, won't really come as a surprise to anyone.