FanHouse ScotPollard

NBA Essentials ranks our six favorite stories of the day.

1. Ball Don't Lie. Gregg Popovich gets off a great gag in reference to Shaq's distaste for the strategy in which his weaknesses are repeatedly exposed in the barest form.

2. Deadspin. Scot Pollard is not a role model.

3. FirstCuts. A thorough dispatch from the Obama rally LeBron James and Jay-Z hosted last night: "For the entire set, LeBron was just a member of the posse, bouncing onstage, dancing, and mouthing every word to every song. Sure, it's just an act, a chance for the athlete to be the rap star for a moment, an opportunity to live a childhood dream; but King James clearly looked like a kid in a way he hasn't since before anyone saw him play for St. Vincent on ESPN2 years ago."

4. New York Times. Mike D'Antoni feels bad for Stephon Marbury; David Lee seems non-plussed about all the hand-wringing after an opening night win. Oh, and Harvey Araton can spin a column like few others.

5. The Basketball Jones. You've really got to listen to watch (!) The Basketball Jones every day.

6. Ball Don't Lie. You've really got to read Kelly Dwyer's Behind the Box Score every day.

Here's some pretty funny stuff (via TMZ) that appeared to occur before Game 4 of the Finals outside the Celtics' hotel. As the players boarded the team bus, a group of Laker fans had various insults ready to serenade the different players with, the loudest and funniest being saved for Sam Cassell. A couple of the Celtics' players though had some equally funny responses.



P.J. Brown (being 59 years old and all) has only heard this stuff like, a billion times, so his subtle reminder to the fans that his team had two victories at the time was definitely the response of a cagey veteran. But the funniest line came from Scot Pollard, when he told one of the hecklers to "tell your mom to stop calling me." Hilarious, yet clean and in no way over the line.

The Celtics may have completed their last blockbuster of the summer but they're not yet done tweaking the roster: Danny Ainge worked out a handful of big men in hopes of finding another veteran center to stash at the end of the bench. From the Boston Globe:

Executive director of basketball operations Danny Ainge confirmed yesterday that the team is working out several free agents this week at its Waltham practice facility, including ex-Celtics forward Eric Williams, center Kelvin Cato, forward-center Esteban Batista, and forward Linton Johnson III.

"These are guys that have other teams interested," Ainge said. "They're taking a look at us and we're looking at them."

The C's already have 15 contracts so a move isn't necessarily imminent, but it might be a wise move. As currently constructed, the bench has only one player taller than 6-9, and that's Scot Pollard. The team could use some height, not only for injury insurance but also to make practices a little more competitive. Williams and Johnson are only 6-8, but Cato (6-11) and Batista (6-10) are certifiable big bodies.

Cato has a longer NBA resume but Batista has more upside. He had a fantastic showing in the FIBA Americas tournament for Uruguay, averaging 20.8 points and 12.4 rebounds per game while earning high praise from opposing coaches and players alike. He's only 24 years old, and despite showing little in 13 games with the Hawks last year, he's a low-cost gamble worth taking. The only catch? He's a restricted free agent, meaning Atlanta has the right of first refusal if another team tries to sign him.

If Gilbert Arenas were a tall, awkward center instead of a short, devastating guard, he'd probably be a lot like Scot Pollard, whose wit and ability to perform in front of a microphone far exceeds his talent on the basketball court. As Pollard and Eddie House were being introduced by the Celtics, Pollard took advantage to spice up what should have been a brief and boring press conference. From the Boston Herald:

"Getting Kevin Garnett here was a big deal, but with us here, now you have a chance," the 32-year-old center said without breaking his deadpan expression as the unsuspecting House doubled over in amazed laughter.

And of course, my favorite:

House will wear No. 50 and Pollard No. 66. The reason?

"Because all the other (expletive) numbers were taken here," Pollard said, looking around a conference room that had the numbers of Bill Russell (6), Tom Heinsohn (15), John Havlicek (17), Robert Parish (00), Larry Bird (33) and Kevin McHale (32) hanging on the wall.

Crude, but true: as my FanHouse colleague Brett Edwards points out at The Association, the Celtics have 21 numbers retired, which definitely makes for slim pickings. With Pollard in the fold, the Celtics should be just as entertaining off the court as they are on.

Previously on FanHouse:
Thankfully, Ainge Is Still Mildly Insane
Scot Pollard Corrupts Our Youth

So the Celtics are now this great team, with all these All-Stars and a legit shot at the Finals. Pinch yourself, it's really true. Luckily, in most important ways, they are still the same laughable organization they were last month. Want proof? Here's boy genius and occasional nutjob Danny Ainge, gushing over the newly-signed Scot Pollard in The Boston Globe:

"He's one of the best offensive rebounders in the game," said Ainge. "He's a terrific post defender. He has a real good feel for the game and he doesn't turn the ball over. I think he's a great teammate in the locker room. He fills a big need for us with interior defense and rebounding."

Look, I get that Pollard is underrated. But lord upon lords, his biggest contribution to Cleveland's run last year was telling kids to do drugs. Hardly the mark of a supreme contributor. And I find it extremely funny that, even when Ainge has just had three superstars fall into his lap, he still talks up minor players like they can turn the team around. Force of habit, I guess.

Maybe he's just incapable of grasping that in Kevin Garnett, he actually did get a top rebounder with a superb feel for the game and good teammate skills. When the real thing comes along, Danny, you need to lay off of the cellar-dwelling fantasies. Or it could just be the shock. I know plenty of Minny folks who are feeling the same way right about now.

Once upon a time, Scott Pollard was one of the league's most beloved characters. He was a one-man NBA Hair Watch before such a thing existed, and a prominent cheerleader on those forgotten Kings teams. It's okay if you've lost track of him; he's bounced around, been injured, and rarely played. Maybe his innocence is gone, maybe the novelty has worn off, but either way Pollard's been below the radar.

Until Sunday, when he decided to stick it to the powers that be once and for all. From The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

[Nancy Reagan], famous for her anti-drug message, would not have been amused had she seen Pollard look into the camera during Sunday's telecast of the Cavs' game against the Indiana Pacers and say, "Hey kids, do drugs."

They then quote one father's outrage, and reveal in the process that Pollard "made a few funny faces" before making the comment. Danny Ferry was forced to an issue an official apology, as was FSN Ohio. And somewhere in a secret office, LeBron's team wondered if this would even further dampen his endorsements.

Pollard himself took the whole thing in stride, but tried to explain his actions:

"It was a bad joke. That's all it boils down to. There are a number of things people could say about it, but it just turned out it was a bad joke. Obviously, I don't believe that."

Note: he only pointed out that he doesn't think kids should do drugs. Not that drugs are bad.