Things you will not see in the Spring Training Dugout for the Seattle Mariners include:
Usually when we hear about college football players and automobiles, it invariably has to do with some kind of NCAA violation--like an Ohio State player getting use of a Cadillac Escalade from an Alumnus or an Oklahoma quarterback getting a job at a local car dealership to which he never had to show up. 
I'm not talking about the Vegas line, which currently has the Seahawks as nine-and-a-half point favorites. I'm talking about Pick 'em, as in interceptions.
Since beating the Seahawks in San Francisco four weeks ago, the 49ers are on a three game skid, losing a close one in St. Louis, and then getting blown out by the Saints and Packers.
The Saints held Frank Gore to 40 yards, but he was able to run for 130 against the Rams and Packers, and given the Seahawks are now approaching the ball carrier like a rabid porcupine, he's bound to cross the century mark Thursday night as well.
So what's been the difference in these three losses?
Alex Smith has thrown 7 interceptions over this span, with the Saints picking three and the Rams and Packers each getting two. Add to that Smith getting sacked six times over this three game stretch, and you don't have to be Vince Lombardi to figure out the key to winning this match-up.
The last time these two teams met, apart from giving up 212 yards to the inventor of the internet, the Seahawks put no pressure on Smith, only sacking him once and getting no interceptions.
The knee-jerk reaction might be to say our defense needs to gamble more and blitz the hell out of Smith, but as we saw in Arizona, our blitz packages are either horribly telegraphed or just sadly ineffective.
The key to pressuring Alex Smith lies in the hands of Matt Hasselbeck, Shaun Alexander, Jerramy Stevens (conspicuously a non-factor in AZ) and most of all, Mack Strong. No, I'm not considering playing these guys on the defensive line, but rather imploring them to HOLD ON TO THE BALL and sustain long, clock-eating, yardage-compiling, point-scoring drives.
Our defense is not terrible, they're just not built to be on the field for 30+ minutes per game. The offense needs to protect them by getting an early lead and continuing to add to it with ever possession. That's when our smaller and faster defense is most efficient, when they can pull out the stops and come after the quarterback with wild abandon.
If the team comes out flat, or continues to rack up more turnovers than Richard Simmons in a San Francisco massage parlor, then they risk losing the NFC West edge to the Niners, and jeopardize their playoff hopes in general.
That's how important this game is.
I'm not sure how to break this news to Seahawk nation, so I'll just have to tell it straight.
Last year was a fluke. A red herring. A mirage.
And in the desert of Arizona this night, the Seahawks proved that no matter how good and real it may look at times, a mirage is just a figment of the imagination. And like dehydrated and hallucinating travelers, lost in the desert called the NFL for over 30 years, Seahawks fans have been thirsting so long for a championship caliber team, that they're starting to see things that aren't there, and believe in things that are not real.
I know I was. Until today, that is.
With a chance to clinch the Division Crown, and make a legitimate run toward home field advantage, the Seahawks sleepwalked into Arizona, and lost a game that they should have won easily. In the spirit of Christmas, the Green Bay Packers did their part by gift-wrapping a victory over the Niners, and all the Seahawks had to do was play four quarters of mistake-free football. They didn't.
And speaking of the Season for Giving, the Seahawks fumbled the ball four times, losing three, and only managed one questionable interception on the other side of the ledger. In a game where both the head coach and the defensive coordinator promised less conservative play calling, the defense managed ZERO sacks and ZERO interceptions against a rookie quarterback, and the offense failed miserably on 3rd-and-makable distance all day.
And when they needed 20 yards on a critical 4th down play with under a minute to play, they picked up 19 and a half.
This year's version of the Seahawks does not have the same heart, efficiency and sense of urgency as last year's, and there's nothing like December games to reveal a mediocre team tying to pass itself off as a contender.
While there's still time, Seahawks fans, cross off those plane tickets to Miami from your Christmas list, as the Seahawks will not be returning to resolve the unfinished business from last February. As a matter of fact, this team seems more suited to reprise the perennial one-and-done playoff performance that those in the Pacific Northwest have come to know all too well, than to make another deep run into the playoffs and return to the Super Bowl.
And please don't accuse me of jumping off the band-wagon or being a fair weather fan. I've been behind this team from day one. I'm just sharing a little "tough love" with my fellow fans, to save them from suffering from four more weeks of disappointment and anguish, like the three hours wasted watching this match-up with the Cardinals today.
And since Seahawks nation is still smarting after this painful loss, I'll wait a few more weeks before breaking the news to you about Santa Claus.
Thanks to the magic of flexible scheduling, we get to wait until this evening to renew our rivalry with one of our most hated old AFC West compatriots, the Denver Broncos. And when any Seahawk fan thinks of a match-up against the Broncos, they still break out in a cold sweat wondering if old #7 is lining up under center, which is why I went 'old school' with the accompanying graphic.
This week's enemy blogger is Gabe Stein from the Broncos FanHouse. Special appreciation to Alan from the 12 Seahawks Street blog, without whom there wouldn't be a Five Questions post this week, and to Gabe, who turned around his responses to these questions in less than 24 hours. That's why there's no reciprocal post this week.
Now, onto the Five Questions:
1. You do realize that your franchise savior, Jay Cutler, is from Vanderbilt, right? Vanderbilt. The biggest game this guy won was beating Middle Tennessee State last year to make the Commodores bowl eligible....oh wait, he lost that game.
GABE: Yes, we do realize that. He also had over 3000 yards passing and a 126 QB rating his senior year, on over 400 passing attempts in the best defensive conference in college football. And he did it all on his own, since he was, as you say, from Vanderbilt.
Let's face it. Heading into last Sunday, not many Seahawks fans expected to come out of Kansas City with a win, and none expected Seneca Wallace to throw for three touchdowns in the game.
It was the classic "no pressure" situation, with very low expectations on the Wallace-lead Seahawks, and a lot of help from the sloppy play of the statistically superior opposition. And after having a ride on the emotional roller-coaster that was the last 6 minutes of that game, I almost would be happier if Kansas City won in a blow-out, like they should have.
Deep down, I'll be Seneca Wallace does too.
Now, the tables have turned 180-degrees, and given the "near miss" in KC, there's nothing but great expectations on Seneca Wallace heading into the Monday Night Football game with the Raiders.
I remembering seeing a fan with a sign at the NFC Championship Game last year that was very creative and nearly prophetic. It read:
Reverse The Curse!
Red Sox - 2004
White Sox - 2005
SeaHox - 2006
However, unlike the Boston Red Sox, who traded away Babe Ruth for No No Nanette, the 30-year drought from the Super Bowl experienced by the Seahawks was because they were bad, not because they were cursed. From bad drafts, to bad players, to bad owners, to bad coaches, and bad management, there was always a definitive reason why the Seahawks were the "lovable losers" of the Pacific Northwest, which certainly had nothing to do with being cursed.
Until now.
And the new curse has less to due with Madden 07 or Chunky Soup or Bill Leavy , and everything to do with Florence Nightingale and Madame Curie ...
In other words, it's the curse of Injury and Bad Chemistry.
After all, that's what all these manufactured curses really boil down to, losing key players and the resultant effect on the chemistry of the rest of the team. And three weeks into the pre-season, Seattle seems to be steeped in the challenge of each.
The off-season began with losses of Pro Bowl left guard Steve Hutchinson, blocking tight end Ryan Hannam, clutch wideout Joe Jurevicus and backup safety Marquand Manuel to free agency. The injury bug has already bitten Porkchop Womack, slated to be Hutchinson's replacement, starting tight ends Jerremy Stevens and Itula Mili, and backup safety Mike Green. And the regular season is still two weeks away.
The 2005 squad got to the promised land by having guys step up when the player ahead of them went down, and by knocking off supposed curses as if they were NFC West opponents.
The Arch Rival Curse - CURED: 10/9/05
The Bye Bye Curse - CURED: 11/6/05
The Close Shave Curse - RELAPSE: 10/2/05, INOCULATED: 10/23/05, BOOSTER: 11/20/05, CURED: 11/27/05
The Three Hour Curse - CURED: 12/18/05
The One and Done Curse - CURED: 1/14/06
So it seems the 2006 Seattle Seahawks have not only graduated into the realm of NFL elite teams, but they've also matriculated into a realm of more notorious and noteworthy curses. I have great confidence that the Seahawks organization will defend itself against this "bad mojo" with hard work and quality of character, instead of taking the easy way out, like striking a deal with the devil himself!
What do these four have in common?
* Billy Bob Thornton
* Billy Joel
* David Copperfield
* albaNY Hawker
Amazing Talent? No.
Huge Bank Accounts? No.
After 30 years of waiting, finally nailing their dream date? YES!
For me, the dream date wasn't Angelina, Christie, or Claudia (although each have an open invitation to eat as many crackers as they want in alba's king size!), my dream date was February 5, 2006, the day that I finally got to see my beloved Seahawks, after 30 years of being a fan, play in the Super Bowl.
Being born and raised in upstate New York, and never living outside the state, with the exception of a two-year stint in New Hampshire (known as the lost years) it hasn't been easy being a Seahawk fan, admiring them from 3,000 miles away, since they joined the league in 1976.
I had to live through the constant quarterback turnstile of Mirer, Frieze, McGwire, Kemp, Kitna, and ESPN's resident blowhard Sean Salisbury, the desperation free agent signings of Franco Harris, Levon Kirkland, and Jerry Rice, and of course, the Boz years, while only catching brief glimpses of the team on the occasional national telecast or when they visited the Jets, Giants or Patriots.
Over that time I've had to listen to my friends, who were wise enough to root for the local teams, as the Patriots won three out of four Super Bowls, the Giants won two, the Bills went to four, and the Jets were 30 minutes away from one. Even their fraternal twin, the Buccaneers notched a Super Bowl victory, and the younger sibling Panthers went to one, while the Seahawks could barely make it to the playoffs, let alone get out of the first round.
But then things started happening for the Seahawks.
Paul Allen bought the team.
Mike Holmgren was recruited to coach.
Matt Hasselbeck was plucked out of obscurity in Green Bay.
Disgruntled free agents were traded away for picks that landed guys like Shaun Alexander.
And finally, Bob Whitsitt was exposed as the no talent hack that he truly was, and a hobbit-like genius named Tim Ruskell was hired as President and General Manager.
This brought a re-dedication and focus on character, leadership and heart, which lead to landing high-motor guys like Lofa Tatupu, Chuck Darby and Bryce Fisher. With all these ingredients in the pot, there was much shaking and stirring through the 2005 season, producing a baker's dozen in the win column, the first playoff victory in over 20 years, and for dessert, the pièce de résistance, the first Super Bowl birth in franchise history!
So, while I would have enjoyed a lot more cuddle time with my dream date, rather than experiencing Lombardus-interruptous, at the hands of Bill Levy and the Pittsburgh Steelers, I'm still looking back on the events of the past year, with a morning-after grin to rival that of Billy Bob's, Billy's or David's.
But at the same time, I can't help but ask the same question that the trio above must have pondered, as they looked longingly at their bedmate, and then glanced in the mirror...was this just a one night stand?
While the exodus of Steve Hutchinson, Joe Jurevicus and Marquand Manuel may be cause for concern, the additions of Nate Burleson, Julian Peterson and rookie Kelly Jennings are reason enough to have high expectations for this team again this year.
In years past, when Super Bowl dreams were just that, beating the Raiders or Broncos - or more recently the Rams and Cardinals - was enough to bring joy to a Seahawks fan's heart. However, now that the fans have tasted the milk and honey of the promised land, it seems that anything less than returning to Super Bowl XLI in Miami, and coming home with the Lombardi trophy, will be considered a failure.
Great Expectations? Indeed.
Unrealistic? Not any more.
Let the games begin!
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