FanHouse SylvesterStallone

Somewhere along the line, I remember hearing that English was one of the most difficult languages to learn. I can buy that. Through vs. thorough? Those are like the exact same word!

So I can understand Daisuke Matsuzaka's desire to learn English through a more enjoyable route: movies. But I fear that Dice-K might be getting some, um, incomplete linguistic lessons:

Matsuzaka said he watched movies to help him learn English - ''Lethal Weapon" with Bruce Willis, ''Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone. In the midst of a string of Japanese words, he spoke two familiar ones: ''Meg Ryan."

First of all, dude, Meg Ryan is so 1998. Cute, yeah, but we've all moved on since then. (Have you met Scarlett?)

Second: if you're trying to learn English, Sylvester Stallone is the absolute last person you should be paying attention to. Bruce Willis is borderline -- "Zed's dead" is simple enough construction -- but Stallone? He doesn't even speak English! He speaks a primitive, HGH-enhanced system of grunts and mumbles. You might as well buy a "Communicating With the Primates" tape, because if you model your speech patterns after Sly Stallone, they're going to be the only ones that will understand you.

(Via Fark)

Did that clip stop you in your tracks even though you've seen it dozens of times? Of course it did, which means you have something in common with Lastings Milledge. From Newsday's On the Mets Beat:

As soon as the Mets outfielder noticed Rocky III today on the clubhouse television, Milledge pulled up a stool, turned up the volume and was riveted to the screen. He was just in time for the training sequence involving Rocky and Apollo Creed sprinting side-by-side on the beach. I can't help but wonder if he was picturing himself edging past Shawn Green in his mind's eye.

"I've seen every one like 15 or 20 times," Milledge said. "Every time it's on, I have to watch it. I don't know why. I'm addicted to them."

It wasn't long before Milledge had company around the TV, which hangs from the ceiling between two rows of lockers. Jose Valentin thew a mock right hook at a clubhouse kid, then walked off to the lunch room chanting, "Rock-ee! Rock-ee! Rock-ee!" Milledge barely flinched. His eyes never leaving the TV as Rocky stepped into the Madison Square Garden ring to face Clubber.

"These guys are ripped," Milledge said. "I want to see Clubber Lang against the Russian [from IV].They've got to make one of those."

Clubber Lang against Ivan Drago? Forget producing music, Milledge should be in the movie-making business -- I don't know a single guy who wouldn't pay to see that. And you know Mr. T would be game for this (especially since he'd totally win); can someone get Dolph Lundgren on the phone? But until that happens (please, before it's too late, someone make this), here's to hoping Milledge doesn't follow too closely in Sylvester Stallone's footsteps.

(via Can't Stop the Bleeding)