FanHouse TatumBell

As we near the halfway point of the NFL season, there is a slew of really bad NFL teams stinking up the joint. The 0-7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers obviously qualify. That means it's time for a bunch of delusional people to start making claims about how so-and-so could beat the Bucs. You know, college teams, "my rec league team," high school teams and, of course, UFL teams. Usually these claims are tongue-in-cheek, but Tatum Bell of the UFL's Florida Tuskers seems pretty serious.

Michael Pittman, a running back for the Tuskers who used to play for the Bucs, said something about how some of his teammates probably thought they could beat the Bucs. Bell immediately said he was one of them. When given a hypothetical score of 24-14 (Tuskers over Bucs), Bell went a bit too far.

The Broncos went through a decade's worth of running backs last season, and maybe that's why they're overcompensating for it during the first week of free agency. Denver has signed 10 players since last Friday, including running backs Correll Buckhalter, JJ Arrington (even if temporarily), and now LaMont Jordan. If nothing else, there will be no need to summon Tatum Bell from the Cellphone Hut.

Because the NFL season never ends, we present our 2009 Offseason Roadmaps for front offices to navigate through the summer.

It's a brave new world in Denver, where the Broncos will take the field without Mike Shanahan on the sideline for the first time since 1995. Josh McDaniels, their new coach, was 19 back then, and has one of the shortest resumes of any head coach in NFL history. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, but it was clear that Shanahan's system was no longer bearing fruit and the team may benefit just from the change of voice on the sideline.

There are some important stats from last night's Chargers - Broncos game that should be remembered. Of course, there's the obvious and relatively standard "52 points and that's all that matters because it was how many the Chargers scored in a win" thing. But more importantly, how about the 38.3 points per game that San Diego has averaged against Denver with Philip Rivers at quarterback? Or perhaps "9-0", which is Norv Turner's record as Chargers head coach in December? (I know, I'm shocked too.)

But I suppose you'll blame me for giving the Superchargers too much credit; Denver, after all, had three chances (against Oakland and Buffalo, no less) to close out the AFC West and get Turner fired. Instead, San Diego kept winning, Denver kept losing and all of sudden, flex sked in hand, there was a 60 minute slugfest scheduled for Sunday night, where the winner got the playoffs and the loser got mocked for being odd man out in a horrible division.

Except "slugfest" isn't a proper description of the game. "Beatdown" or "one sided blowout by the Chargers" would be a better way to describe it. Rivers was spectacular, LaDanian Tomlinson was revived, Darren Sproles was continually elusive and San Diego romped the Broncos.

Of course, the underlying theme of this whole game -- division title and rivalry aside -- was whether or not Ed Hochuli could be redeemed from an early season botch-job at the end of these two teams' first matchup. He was, which is nice, I suppose, but it still doesn't excuse him per se.

Just in time for the fantasy playoffs, Week 14 provided fantasy owners with plenty of heart palpitations and an awful lot to think about. Going into Week 15, the most nerve-racking of all fantasy weeks in my opinion, we have no less than five superstar running backs with totally uncertain futures after suffering injuries.

At this point, we at Fantasy FanHouse do not know much more than you about these situations, but we will attempt to shed some light on how to approach them (with more definitive updates coming later this week).

Broncos: Peyton Hillis / Tatum Bell - You can't paint a turd. Sure, Peyton Hillis is officially on the injured reserve, which will inevitably lead many fantasy players to jump all over Tatum Bell, but the problem with this situation is you are still talking about Tatum Bell -- the same guy who got cut by the Detroit Lions. It is conceivable that cutting Bell was another event in a long line of boneheaded moves by the Lions, but I wouldn't stake my fantasy playoffs on Bell if I were you. He may have looked decent against the Chiefs, but temper the expectations against better run defenses in Carolina and Buffalo. In fact, if you insist on starting Bell, I have a red hot investment portfolio for you that includes sub-prime mortgages and Lehman Brothers stock that I'd like you talk to you about as well.

Just think, there was a time when the Broncos thought Travis Henry was the worst thing that could ever happen to their running game. Turns out the Henry era was only the precursor for the unit's complete collapse this season. Peyton Hillis will miss the rest of the season with a hamstring injury, which makes him the sixth Bronco running back to go down to injury this season.

Hillis became the latest name in the pantheon of "unknowns who Mike Shanahan plugged in successfully." He was a seventh-rounder on a team loaded with backs but ran for 305 yards and five touchdowns over the last four weeks.

Michael Pittman, Anthony Aldridge, Andre Hall and Ryan Torain are already out for the season. Selvin Young, the starter at the outset of the season, has played in just one of the last eight games because of a groin injury. Given all those players, its amazing that Hillis even made the team and lasted long enough to help them over the last month

That leaves Tatum Bell, one-time Bronco starter and scourge of the Lions locker room, and P.J. Pope as the only healthy running backs in the Rockies. The Broncos did give wide receiver Eddie Royal three carries yesterday, so perhaps they'll be creative in filling the need. Or, more likely, they'll just put even more on Jay Cutler's shoulders.

Tatum Bell looked to be out of football for good after he was accused of common thievery earlier this year. Cut by the Lions just prior to the season, Bell wound up selling phones at the Aurora Mall while he contemplated his future.

And then luck intervened. And by "luck," I mean a "string of injuries the likes of which we've never seen." The Broncos, who originally drafted Bell in 2004, are down to rookie undrafted free agent Peyton Hillis and recently promoted practice-squadder P.J. Pope.

Not even Mike Shanahan's zone-blocking wizardry can do much with seventh- and eighth-teamers (though, to be fair, Hillis looked solid in part-time duty against the Browns). Hence the return of Bell. Unlike Daunte Culpepper, and possibly Ty Law, Bell's not likely to see the field against the Falcons on Sunday.

"He was the only one left," joked Broncos coach Mike Shanahan. "Tatum has played well when he's played here. I think he's averaged around five yards . . . obviously we needed someone who is familiar with our system and terminology. I don't think he's in great football shape yet, but hopefully in a short time he will be."

Imagine that. Peddling phones is a tad more sedentary than running for your life as fat people chase you. Weird. Bell did have success in Denver -- he went for 921 yards in '05 and 1,025 more in '06 -- but he didn't do much in Detroit before they eventually released him. And let's be honest: getting dumped by the Lions can't do a lot for your confidence.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Tatum Bell, released by the Lions prior to the season for being a better luggage thief than running back, now finds himself back in the league. And all it took was for the Broncos to lose 25 running backs to injured reserve.

Denver originally selected Bell in the second round of the 2004 draft, but traded him to the Lions last year in a deal that brought cornerback Dre' Bly to the Broncos. During the '07 season, Bell played in only five games and rushed for 182 yards, and then, after turning to a life of crime some eight months later, the team cut ties with him.

Desperate times and whatnot have forced the Broncos to re-sign Bell, and NFL.com's Adam Schefter reports that there's a pretty good chance he'll play this weekend against the Falcons. Apparently, Mike Shanahan has less confidence in a Peyton Hillis-featured running attack than I do.

Unlike Daunte Culpepper and Ty Law, two players recently signed after extended layoffs, Bell won't take long to get up to speed because this is his second tour with the Broncos. And more importantly, as Gretz points out, he's also "familiar with the locker room and, you know, where all the guys keep their luggage."

Amen to that. Now let's all pray for Travis Henry.

That's Sammy Winder. He sure can't help the Broncos can he? Yup, healthy RBs have become scarce in Denver these days.

Like many, who'd been quietly or in my case (not so quietly) – awaiting the arrival/return of fantasy savior Ryan Torain, Thursday night was nothing short of disaster. The Ryan Torain era was something special, now wasn't it? I was just about ready to dish out a round of self high fives as Torain was grinding his way through the Cleveland defense to the tune of 68 yards and a TD early into the 2nd quarter. And then everything hit the skids with the word coming on Friday that Torain is done for the season, torn ACL.

Well, it's simply time to come to grips with the fact that (beep) happens, but you've gotta keep on keeping on. Besides, having all your eggs in the Denver backfield is never a way to go through life. Trust me; I wasn't banking on Torain being a savior, rather a welcome bonus addition. Moving on, what's more important now is sorting out what lies ahead for the Denver offense.

I mean, seriously, they are down to virtually no healthy RBs. They've now lost three RBs in Michael Pittman, Andre Hall, and Ryan Torain to season-ending injuries and Selvin Young is hardly 100 percent and/or reliable. Is this some kind of karmic payback for Shanahan being the Satan of fantasy RBs? Paging Olandis Gary please? So, what options do they have? Let's take a look ...

I suppose it's a lot easier to have a sense of humor when you no longer play for the Lions. Wide receiver Roy Williams, who was traded from Detroit to Dallas earlier this month, was back in the Motor City for Mike Furrey's annual Halloween party. And while there will always be a special place in my heart for Jon Kitna's spot-on 2007 effort as a naked, drunk-driving assistant coach, Williams truly outdid himself.

Williams came dressed as former Lions running back Tatum Bell, who made national headlines two months ago when he was accused of pilfering the travel bags of Detroit running back Rudi Johnson. Williams was wearing a bellhop uniform with a big name tag that said "T. Bell.''

There's even video evidence after the jump.