The move hasn't been officially announced yet, but it has been confirmed by ISU officials. Paul Rhoads will be paid $1.15 million a year over five years with the usual pile of incentives. His hiring comes after rumors of Terry Bowden and Mike Stoops were floating throughout Cycloneland. After hearing about name coaches who might have been interested in becoming the head Clone, you wonder if Rhoads is a sexy enough hire to placate the fans.
Then again, Rhoads just finished his first season at Auburn, where his efforts were wasted behind a kittenish offense. The Tigers finished 15th in scoring defense and 27th in yards allowed but only got a 5-7 record to show for it. Before that, Rhoads was the defensive coordinator at Pitt for eight seasons, a job he got after four seasons coaching Iowa State's linebackers and secondary. But that's not the most important qualification he brings.
ABOVE: Wisconsin's Jonathan Casillas couldn't catch the above quarterback, who is not John Elway. Perhaps if Casillas had a motorized vehicle of some sort ...
Okay, I know it's still quite early in the season, but I think we've seen the Horrible Pants-Blasting Loss of the Year. Not to take anything away from the Wolverines, but when you look at the box score from last Saturday's Wisconsin/Michigan game, you can't help but come away thinking, "How on Earth did the Badgers lose that game?" Up 19-0 at halftime against a team that had only scored 19 points once in three games, with a clock-gobbling running game and a usually stifling defense ... and they gacked.
Sure, there are some good reasons why they lost. Allan Evridge is an inexperienced quarterback. Then again, he's more experienced than Steven Threet, who looked like John freakin' Elway in the fourth quarter. (Okay, he looked like Elway would have looked if Elway had been able to run. I haven't forgotten all the O.J. Simpson jokes, you know.) Again, you have to give Michigan credit for doing what it took to win that game ... but how did Wisconsin lose it? You can only reach one conclusion: Pants-blast.
Other teams whose lower body laundry you wouldn't have wanted to do last week: Indiana, Iowa, and Purdue, who I think became the first team ever to not intercept Jimmy Clausen. How will these teams rebound this week? Hint: like a dead cat.
Doesn't it seem like this thing should have been over a long time ago? Before he who must not be named got on a plane for Ann Arbor, Terry Bowden was calling the West Virginia coaching position his dream job. But fate smiled on West Virginia and Bowden was not hired right away. John "Doc" Holiday, the associate and safeties coach at Florida seemed to be the early leader.
But not willing to let the process continue, Bobby Bowden apparently contacted West Virginia governor Joe Manchin to step in and give his son another look. And a decision was postponed until a latter date that we are still waiting on. But instead of Bowden, Florida State offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher became the lead candidate right before Christmas. He would turn the job down down, however, and leave West Virginia right where they started.
The good news for the Mountaineers is that they have the right man in place to hold things together in Bill Stewart, the interim head coach. Whether he is the right man for the job permanently is a question mark. If he isn't, this is one man that should always have a job at West Virginia for the job he is doing. While most of Mountaineer nation has in been in permanent meltdown mode, Stewart has been able to keep the team focused. And apparently liking the change.
"Coach Stew is a great coach. I think we feel more comfortable with him,'' Devine said. "When we had Coach Rod there was a lot of yelling and all that. Coach Stew's more laid back. Everybody can do what they do and use their skills on the field without getting yelled at.''
Sometimes going from a disciplinarian to a players coach can be a good thing and sometimes not so much. See this years Cowboys and Chargers, although the Chargers will make the playoffs thanks to a weak division. But from all indications Stewart is not being seriously considered. The names that are being considered after the jump.
Poor Southern Miss fans must have had a heart attack when the Clarion Ledger ran a piece titled "USM Notes: Terry Bowden Would Like To Coach," envisioning the squeaky dwarf late of ABC prowling the sidelines in Hattiesburg.
Fortunately for cardiologists near the Arkansas border, the contents of that article are mercifully unrelated to USM. See, Bowden wants to coach you, no matter who you are or what you play:
"All I would want to say is that I'm very interested in any program where I feel like I would be a good fit, where there was a need I could fill," Bowden said. "If that means a place that has never won seven games before, then I'd like to help them win seven games. If that means a place that has never won a championship before, then I'd like to help them a win a championship."
Have a football program? Of any sort whatsoever? Or, I guess, like volleyball or something? Whatever! Terry Bowden's your man.
He'd be perfect for the Unversity of Phoenix Phoenixes (We're From Pheonix! Or the Internet!), which is a fake team my friends and I made up that travels around the country getting its teeth kicked in by local rivals -- the University of Phoenix is everywhere and therefore local rivals with everyone -- for 500k a pop. Since winning is no object, Bowden would be perfect.
The former Auburn coach and Bowden Clan scion is certainly making moves like he is. From the Tampa Tribune:
Orlando radio station WHOO, 1080 AM announced Wednesday that Terry Bowden is leaving his post as co-host of the 'Terry Bowden-Brady Ackerman Show' to move to Tallahassee as an 'observer' of FSU's football program. Terry was heavily involved in helping his father revamp Florida State's coaching staff in the offseason.
I didn't realize Bowden had a hand in the reshuffling of the staff.
All-in-all, it looks like he did a masterful job, at least until the games get played. Florida State hired LSU's Jimbo Fisher to be its offensive coordinator and West Virginia's Rick Trickett to coach its offensive line. Several other assistant positions were also reshuffled with what looks like a top-notch coaching staff.
Hard to tell where he's going with this, as Bowden will remain a college football analyst for various entities this year.
Perhaps he's just making sure his old man gets a chance to end his career with success instead of malaise as had happened the past few years. Those years led to the forced departure of his brother Jeff, the Seminoles' offensive coordinator. Bobby Bowden seemed prepared to go down with his former group of assistants, which may have prompted Terry's involvement in cobbling together a functional staff that the head man could be loyal to but also bring new blood into a declining program.
Or maybe Terry's dead serious about this.
This is my personal opinion,' Tommy Bowden said. 'He got actively involved in helping dad put his staff together. I think that kind of lit the fire back.'
Stop talking. Stop pointing. Also stop winning all those things.
Urban Meyer talks a lot and it irritates me. This could be a serious case of sour grapes after Florida slipped into the national championship game past Michigan and proceeded to treat Ohio State like it was, um... Michigan playing Ohio State. So let's find a (completely! totally!) unbiased source:
[Bobby] Bowden's son, Terry, announced: ``I'm so sick and tired of hearing about [Gators coach] Urban Meyer, it makes me want to vomit.''
As anyone who has been exposed to the younger Bowden's helium-influenced halftime ramblings knows, this is possibly the most ironic statement ever made. Other things that make Terry Bowden want to vomit.
Anyway, try to keep this in mind when the season rolls around and Bowden starts talking Florida.
There's something about the coaching profession that leads to lots of coach-speak but little in the way of directness and candor. That pattern sadly extends into retirement for many coaches but once in a while a former coach comes along willing to spill the beans.
Back in 1993, in my first game in Baton Rouge, La., as the head coach at Auburn, [LSU's live mascot Mike the Tiger] scared the hell out of me with about the loudest roar I've ever heard seconds before we were to run out of the tunnel for the game. There is an old joke about wearing red coaching pants on the sidelines during a tough game because of how bloody it was going to be and not wanting to alarm the players. Well, let's just say, I could have used some brown pants on the sideline that day. ...
Ewwww. I could do without the toilet talk, but it's nice to see the human side of a coach once in a while. I wonder what scares someone like Pete Carroll? What makes Lloyd Carr laugh? Unfortunately we don't often learn these details until they're retired or washed up and no longer really care about them.
I don't want to get all our Big Ten and Pac-10 readers in a hussy, but many people think it will be those two conferences that ultimately will come between college football and a playoff system. Florida president Bernie Machin, who is spearheading the drive to persuade college presidents to consider a playoff, believes the only real problem will be the Big Ten and the Pac-10 because "they like their sweetheart deal with the Rose Bowl." Maybe fans can visit www.boycotttherosebowl.com, a site that reader David Barnes of Dallas emailed to me.
I'd be more lighthearted and sarcastic and mock Bowden's inability to spell Machen, but this is taking things too far. Have you ever become deeply passionate about something but maybe lost your focus along the way, advocating counter-productive things? Taken things too far? Have friends ever told you to 'check yourself'?
Well I'm telling the playoff nuts out there right now: check yourselves. I'm not in favor of a playoff, but I can reasonably disagree with its proponents and listen to rational arguments and let the marketplace of ideas do its thing. This, however, is taking things too far. I cannot believe the desperation to make one consider boycotting essentially one of the greatest things the college game has going for it.
Sure, I'll boycott the Rose Bowl, along with puppies and sunshine
In general, a movement's gone too far when it starts shedding former allies who realize things have gone too far. Something's very French Revolution about the idea of a boycott, no? Not good.
While it wasn't exactly the spite hite many were hoping for, we now know for sure that the Ames-to-Auburn pipeline runs in both directions. A week after Gene Chizik carefully wrapped his five wins and moved them to Auburn, Iowa State hired Tommy Tuberville's defensive coordinator Paul Rhoads to replace him.
Doesn't it seem like this thing should have been over a long time ago? Before he who must not be named got on a plane for Ann Arbor, Terry Bowden was calling the West Virginia coaching position his dream job. But fate smiled on West Virginia and Bowden was not hired right away. John "Doc" Holiday, the associate and safeties coach at Florida seemed to be the early leader. 
Poor Southern Miss fans must have had a heart attack when the Clarion Ledger ran a piece titled "
Stop talking. Stop pointing. Also stop winning all those things. 
There's something about the coaching profession that leads to lots of coach-speak but little in the way of directness and candor. That pattern sadly extends into retirement for many coaches but once in a while a former coach comes along willing to spill the beans.
