FanHouse TimMccarver

While making my daily attempt to read everything on the Internet, I came upon a link that took me completely by surprise. It was to a story in the Providence Journal entitled, "Tim McCarver sings the American songbook." I did a double-take, the double-took my double take. The Providence Journal is a real newspaper and there's an Amazon.com link to the CD. This is really real.

This information has overloaded my poor little brain. Tim McCarver is one of my least favorite baseball announcers of all-time, and one of the reasons I can watch a game with the volume on and never actually hear one word the announcers say. But it's one thing to make fun of his baseball commentating. Everyone does that. Can I actually make fun of the man's singing voice?

Ratings for Saturday's national baseball broadcasts on FOX are down 9 percent against last season at this time, the continuation of a trend that's troubling to the network. Last year's World Series was the lowest rated in history, regular season games are down 23 percent since 2000 and, since they're paying $255 million a year to show baseball games, they'd like that to change.

Following the long-standing axiom that there's no better way to get people excited than to bring Bud Selig into the mix, network executives will be meeting with the baseball commissioner next week to talk strategies. Hopefully, they'll come up with some new ideas because the ones they have aren't too inspiring.

There are many fantastic things about Fox's baseball coverage. Their music, for starters, is second to none, often featuring the dulcet tones of Phish, Widespread Panic and the White Stripes during Saturday games. Another fantastic thing: any excuse to show this picture of Rupert Murdoch. Two things that aren't awesome, however, are Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Fortunately, when they screw up, it's quite amusing, and when they show the wrong man as John Mayberry, Sr., following his "son's" first career homer Saturday, well, good times ensue.



Bats via Deadspin

Let's go on a trip back in time to the year 2002. It was the month of October and while people all over the country were falling in love with Good Charlotte's "Young and the Restless" and flocking to local theaters to see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," there were new cultural phenomenons taking place in southern California. The Los Angeles Angels were on their way to winning the World Series, and introducing us all to the Rally Monkey and the Thunderstick in the process.

In my entire life as a baseball fan I have never seen fans do anything more annoying than bang those two inflated sticks together repeatedly for hours. Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver included. It was a plague that had been unleashed on the sport -- in 2005 they were handing them out at White Sox playoff games -- and thankfully they've since died out. For one man in Los Angeles, though, they didn't die out soon enough.

Back in 2004 when the Angels and Red Sox were facing each other in the playoffs, then 29-year old Daniel Slama was in attendance at a game rooting for his Angels. He also took the time to make sure he chanted "Boston sucks" repeatedly, which is fine, but he then made a fatal mistake. He hit a Red Sox fan in the head with a thunderstick.

It's a good thing the Rays won the American League pennant, because had the Red Sox won, the Phillies might have had to juggle their starting rotation. Or something like that. From Bob Nightengale of the USA TODAY:

"I did not want to play Boston," says Myers, 28. "If Boston had beat Tampa, I would have gone to (manager) Charlie (Manuel) and told him, 'I don't want to pitch in Boston.'

"I don't ever want to pitch in Boston again."

If you remember, it was in Boston during the 2006 season that Brett Myers was arrested for allegedly beating his wife, Kim, outside a downtown bar. Despite the charges, he actually started the very next day. The Phillies caught a lot of flack for not holding him out, though for what it's worth, the scorn he received from the fans apparently scarred him for life.

Most of the hyperbole in the two league championship series was directed towards the opponents of the Rays and Phillies. This is because the big media types love the Red Sox and Manny Ramirez, while generally express a vague indifference towards teams like the Rays and Phillies. Somehow, I don't think that's going to stop broadcasters and journalists from saying stupid things about these two teams.

Hyperbole: Just about anything said about the Rays is potentially hyperbolic.
Truth: Let's straighten things out here: the Rays turnaround from 2007 IS remarkable. Their win over the Red Sox in the ALCS was NOT an upset. Many talking heads predicted the Rays would finish last in the AL East this year, but many people who bothered to put time and thought into their predictions thought the Rays would win somewhere between 80 and 90 wins. That means that while it is fairly surprising that the Rays are in the World Series, it's only mind-bogglingly shocking for people that don't pay that much attention to baseball.

Hyperbole: Blah blah blah, Manny Ramirez, blah blah blah, Boston Red Sox, blah blah blah.
Truth: Manny? Home. Red Sox? Home. You see, they're not playing this week because their teams lost and were eliminated from the playoffs. And yet, why do I feel like we haven't heard the last of them?

There are a lot of things we can count on to annoy us during the World Series this season. First there will be the complaints about the fact that the Phillies and Rays just don't have large enough fanbases to bring in viewers, which I couldn't care less about because all that matters to me is the baseball being played. Then, of course, we're going to have to deal with listening to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver for a week and a half. Finally, there will be all those scripted conversations in the dugout about Taco Bell, and how Shane Victorino plans on getting free tacos for Americans everywhere.

So with all that annoyingness preparing to attack you in the coming nights, I bring you this warning: Do not tune in for the national anthem before game one. Unless you really hate your ears, anyway.

Move over, B.K. Jackson. The Backstreet Boys will be singing the national anthem of game 1 of the World Series on Wednesday night, according to team fan experience director Darcy Raymond. Throwing out the first pitch will be Pinellas County Commissioner Bob Stewart. Stewart was a St. Petersburg City Council member back on July 24, 1986, who voted with five others to build the stadium even when the area didn't have a team.

Yes, the Rays are pulling out all the stops for their first World Series appearance. Apparently the New Kids on the Block are too busy touring. Still, I suppose this makes sense when you think about it. Just about everybody on the Rays roster is 23 or 24 years old, and that would make them the perfect age to have been Backstreet Boys fans when the group was popular.

Maybe I should tune in just to see Evan Longoria screaming and then fainting in the dugout.

With Manny Ramirez still in the postseason with the Dodgers, and his former team taking on the Rays, Mr. Ramirez has been quite the topic of conversation in baseball lately. Some people are remembering how great a player Manny is now that he seems to care again, and then there are others who are more focused on how Manny orchestrated his way out of Boston.

Tim McCarver was one of the latter, calling Manny's actions "despicable." Well, while that seems a bit harsh, Mr. McCarver is entitled to his opinion. Besides, who cares what Tim McCarver thinks? If you really want to know what to think of Manny you have to go to a man that knows more about baseball than anybody else: Dick Vitale.

Vitale called Terry Francona's Sox a "classy club'' and agreed with Tim McCarver's inflammatory assessment of Manny Ramirez. (Earlier this week, McCarver labeled Manny's actions before the trade "despicable.'') "I'm very upset with the way Manny carried on at the end,'' said Vitale, who'll throw out the first pitch at the Trop tomorrow. "It's absolutely unbelievable the way he orchestrated his way out of there.''

McCarver is vindicated!

Seriously, though, can we get off of Manny's case? Let's look at Manny's situation as if he were an actual human being (which I think he is) instead of being a slave to us. Now, let's say you work somewhere where you aren't happy. You hate your boss, you're not particularly fond of your co-workers, and the customers? Oh my God are they annoying.

Do you start to look for a new job? One that will make you happy? Yeah? Well then why the hell can't Manny?

Somehow, the MLB playoffs just aren't dramatic enough for the people charged with announcing them. As if simply describing what's happening in front of them isn't enough, baseball announcers tend to go far past the realm of reality during the playoffs. This hyperbolic tendency is what gave rise to the scrap-tacular David Eckstein and the Dragon Slayer Josh Fogg. In order to ward this off and prepare you for this, I give you the 2008 guide to NLCS hyperbole.

Potential Hyperbole: Tell me this conversation isn't coming:

Tim McCarver: You know, Joe, Manny Ramirez just makes me so angry! He literally slaughtered an innocent puppy and drank his blood in Boston and Theo Epstein had no choice but to trade him! Just made like a vampire right there in the clubhouse!

Joe Buck: Well, Tim, Manny Ramirez might not be a nice guy, but he's the modern equivalent of Atlas! I mean, he picked the Dodgers up on his shoulders and LITERALLY carried them to the playoffs! (preens for the camera)

The Truth: No one understands Manny Ramirez. I don't, you don't, Theo Epstein doesn't, Joe Torre doesn't, and Tim McCarver certainly doesn't. And yes, Manny has been awesome with the Dodgers, but Rafael Furcal, Russell Martin, and James Loney all played huge roles in the sweep of the Cubs. The Dodger are not a one-man show. Pretty much everything said about Manny in this series is going to be an exaggeration.

Tim McCarver is the lead analyst for Fox baseball, thus, he'll be working the entire NLCS and World Series this season, as usual. As long as the Dodgers stay as hot as they are right now, that's a lot of Manny Ramirez to cover ... and apparently ol' Timmy's not a huge supporter of Manny:

"It's extraordinary - the dichotomy between what he was in Boston and what he is in Los Angeles," McCarver said. "I mean, talk about wearing out your welcome in a town, and it was a long welcome with the Red Sox. But some of the things he did were simply despicable, despicable - like not playing, refusing to play. Forgetting what knee to limp on. And now it's washed, it's gone."

So tell us how you really feel, Tim. Wow. He spewed venom about as much as a woman would when you tell her you don't like Grey's Anatomy -- especially if you say those two dudes are ugly. I guess McCarver didn't get the memo that the media is supposed to be in the middle of a love affair with Manny Ramirez right now. Didn't you hear? He's, like, the best player ever.