Kyle Parker's childhood sports heroes were Chipper Jones in baseball and Brett Favre in football. Even when pushed, there was no way, no sir, Parker could select a favorite between the talented pair.
Picking between the two sports at the collegiate level has been as difficult for Parker, a starter in right field on the Clemson baseball team and a possible starter at quarterback on the Tigers football team.
Someone please hire him already, we're pretty sure he'd stoop to being a coordinator at any BCS conference stop. Studio work for say, ESPN or Fox Sports isn't a bad fallback but the pool's a little crowded this offseason with talkative aw shucks coaches Tommy Tuberville and Tommy Bowden also recently canned.
The College Football Songbook is a weekly feature in which we'll be making as much fun as humanly possible of the most embarrassing moments in college football. Through words, music, and related video we'll leave a lasting memory implanted on the brains of the vanquished that they are not soon to forget.
All three ranked ACC teams were upset and knocked out of the top 25. It seemed more fun than a song about BYU...
Clemson's former starting quarterback Cullen Harper, benched -- possibly via text message -- preceding the departure of his head coach, remained benched when Dabo Swinney took over as head coach. Today's starter -- redshirt freshman quarterback Willy Korn -- has lasted all of four offensive possessions before giving way back to Harper. Who knew the Tigers had such a quick hook?
There is speculation that Korn was injured on his last possession, but we think the interception and pair of turnovers spelled doom regardless.
"Punt, punt, interception, interception" is no way to go through life, particularly at home before 85,000 frustrated South Carolinians against an option-mad, ball-controlling Georgia Tech team. Harper hasn't been much better, although he probably should be given that he was the preseason ACC Offensive Player of the Year.
And just as I write this, Harper tosses an interception to end the first half. Malaise, thy name is Clemson.
As far as father and son coaching tandems go, I would think that Lane Kiffin and Monte Kiffin would have to rank near the top in terms of potential to turn around a college football team. Or, if not "turn around", take talented players who were forced to underachieve with Tommy Bowden, and help them win.
Which explains why there's a pretty strong rumor about the Kiffins heading towards Death Valley. Or at least, as JoeBucsFan is reporting, why it's something that's being considered.
Through a source with strong ties to Clemson movers and shakers, Joe was informed of a meeting of Clemson boosters held Wednesday at the school and that many big-moneyed Tigers boosters want to throw considerable cash at Lane Kiffin to replace recently resigned coach Tommy Bowden.
The trick is the offer will be a package deal: Lane has to bring his father Monte with him.
One of the reasons the school negotiated an early release for Bowden earlier this week was so the program could get a headstart on acquiring a top candidate.
Okay, the last part makes total sense (although I heard that Bowden rolled early because he likes the idea of getting paid several million dollars to quit a job he was going to get fired from anyway.) But I don't know if I agree/believe the notion that Clemson would offer Lane the job only if he can get his dad to come aboard.
Hell, half the reason -- according to Al Davis' press conference -- that there was so much disagreement was that Lane wanted him to work in Oakland in the first place. Still, getting both Kiffins (or just one at this point) would have to be considered a coup for the Tigers.
There is good passion in sports and insane passion. The difference is fairly simple. A good passionate fan gets excited about his team's success but refrains from lighting things on fire after a loss. An insane fan boos all calls against his team, even if infants understand the rule infraction.
I'd have to say the winner of FanHouse Crazy Fan of the Week, Dave, might be taking the Tommy Bowden firing just a little too personal. Calling a local television station to talk about the firing, Dave basically breaks down when discussing the injustice that was Bowden to the curb. This is really golden stuff, via Barstool Sports.
Tommy Bowden has been good to us over the years. Not Clemson football, necessarily, but us writers and pundits fortunate enough to make a few dollars documenting the highs and lows of college football.
Today is most decidedly a low for coach Bowden, late of Clemson. And its a sad day for us too, as we won't have coach to kick around anymore. There won't be a "last press conference" and it's doubtful Bowden rises like a phoenix just a few years later to ascend to something like the Presidency.
But we've got photos. Lots and lots of photos. Our image service has been a rich depository of agonized Tommy Bowden photos. With coach gone and no longer wearing the Orange, we thought we'd share with you a few of our favorites. Brutal stuff, but we can't let this moment pass without sharing some of the archived goodies that made us laugh and longing to find a story to pair with the photo.
On ESPN's First Take this morning, while reporting the news that head coach Tommy Bowden had been fired by Clemson, quarterback Cullen Harper was quoted as saying "Bowden got what he deserved."
COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Patrick Lavine #4 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys is greeted by teammates after making an interception in the closing seconds against the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Patrick Lavine
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Damian Davis #85 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys celebrates on the sidelines after scoring his 2nd touchdown against the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Damian Davis
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Damian Davis #85 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys celebrates after scoring a 4th-quarter touchdown against the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Damian Davis
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Damian Davis #85 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys makes a catch for a 4th-quarter touchdown against the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Damian Davis
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Chase Daniel #25 of the Missouri Tigers throws a pass under pressure from Donald Boooker #44 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Daniel was wearing #25 in honor of Aaron O'Neal. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Chase Daniel;Donald Booker
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Ricky Price #6 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys upends Chase Coffman #45 of the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Ricky Price;Chase Coffman
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Derek Burton #98 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys sacks Chase Daniel of the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Derek Burton;Chase Daniel
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Kendall Hunter #24 of the Oklahoma State Cowboys cuts back against the Missouri Tigers on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Kendall Hunter
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COLUMBIA, MO - OCTOBER 11: Jeremy Maclin #9 of the Missouri Tigers dives for yardage against the Oklahoma State Cowboys on October 11, 2008 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, Missouri. Oklahoma State won 28-23. (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeremy Maclin
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Louisiana Tech quarterback, Taylor Bennett (13), is taken down by Hawaii defender, Ryan Mouton (2), as Brashton Satele, left, watches, during the first quarter of an NCAA college football game at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, on Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008. Hawaii won the game 24-14. (AP Photo/Ronen Zilberman)
"Friends that were with Harper say that Tommy was calling his phone nonstop after the announcement and that Cullen ignored him," reads another Tigertown text we received yesterday. "The players are with Cullen. They are pissed (Bowden) is trying to put the blame on them."
Not hard to agree with Harper. He's more than proved that when he has a whisper of a chance to throw the ball, that he is capable of making things happen. The young offensive line has let him and the fine stable of running backs down this year. This is something that only the coaches could fix, and they didn't. Note to coaches with star offensive players and poor offensive production, don't throw your players under the bus. Karma is a cruel mistress.
Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.
$ The Red River Shootout between Oklahoma and Texas is one of the biggest rivalry games in college football. You need to wear a cup when you go to this game or suffer the consequences. Given that, we put the over/under on battery arrests at 50. And just for fun, we give you a straight up bet on if anyone's scrotum gets nicked.
$ When Clemson travels to Wake Forest Thursday night, Tommy Bowden's job might just be on the line. Not that he would be fired Friday, but anything less than an appearance in the ACC championship game will be considered a disappointment. Naturally we give you a straight up bet that Tommy's mom, not Bobby, will call in to Dr. Lou to ask how she can save her son's job. Bonus straight bet that Dr. Lou will respond with some form of, "does he realize he has two of the best running backs in the country?"
$ Speaking of bad blood, LSU at Florida probably won't be a game where the word sportsmanship is uttered by the announcers except if preceeded by the word "bad." Last year, Tim Tebow pretended to dial on his cell phone after he scored a touchdown, mocking the LSU students that got ahold of his cell number. With LSU linemen trying to take out a Heisman winner, we put the over/under on how many times Tebow does the Heisman pose at five.
The College Football Songbook is a weekly feature in which we'll be making as much fun as humanly possible of the most embarrassing moments in college football. Through words, music, and related video we'll leave a lasting memory implanted on the brains of the vanquished that they are not soon to forget.
Since I didn't get to do an ACC preview song, the teams in the ACC went ahead and stunk it up so I could give you this. Cheers guys!