That headline, as weird as it may sound, is totally and completely serious. And there's photographic evidence to back it up.
You see, what happened was that Pamela Anderson was at the Vancouver Canucks game Thursday night and she ... well ... took some liberties with the mascot. I mean jeez, that's some serious tongue. And that's one seriously lucky orca whale. From time to time we've all made some bad decisions. Nonetheless, I think it's safe to say that hooking up with a guy in a furry whale suit takes the cake. It's at least the funniest, I would say.
Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.
For the Vancouver Canucks, there's nothing like a little home cooking. But who needs a little when you can have the whole darned pot? Goaltender Roberto Luongo and the 'Nucks are making sure that no one comes into their house and pushes them around. After starting the season 1-6-0 on home ice, the Canucks have turned things around in a rather impressive manner. The team is 11-0-2 in their last 13 home games, allowing only 11 goals during that time. With last night's 3-0 shutout of the Rangers, Luongo recorded his sixth shutout of the season. All of those have come on home ice, including a three game shutout streak at the end of November.
It's safe to say the Canucks really, really like playing on home ice. As for their opponents, the New York Rangers, they dropped their second in a row on the road to a Canadian team. The Rangers lost two nights ago in Calgary, and move on to Edmonton Saturday to complete their road trip north of the border. Home probably doesn't sounds too bad right now to the Rangers. Final: Vancouver 3, NY Rangers 0.
After the jump: Evgeni Malkin makes it rain hats, Rick DiPietro gets caught by the pad police, hell does not freeze over when Jason Cullimore scores, and while the Capitals have no problem with the Senators, it turns out that Tim Thomas is their kryptonite.
How excited are you when your NHL team unveils a new uniform and/or logo?
Do you storm down to the store to get your hands on it right away? Do you frantically click on Ebay, hoping to secure one, or do you just rant and rave about it like I do, before eventually coming to tolerate it?
General Motors Place is sold out for Wednesday's unveiling of the Canucks' latest sweater design, but not to the extent that 18,000 hockey crazies will be storming the doors on Griffiths Way. By the team's request, there will be roughly half that number with free but designated tickets.
"We decided to cut it off at 8,500 because that seems to be a manageable number," Canucks president and CEO Chris Zimmerman says. "The lower bowl will be filled and that's incredibly gratifying."
What's incredibly surprising is the fact there hasn't been a bona fide leak on what the new design is all about. "It's been a huge challenge," Zimmerman says. "So many people watch everything we do. It's almost impossible to manage our own news." (Try as they do.)
There has been a lot of speculation as to what the new logo and colors will be, with everything ranging from the old-school stick-in-rink logo, to the modified Orca logo, to a Johnny Canuck design. We haven't seen anyone coming out and releasing a bonafide leak, unlike what happened with the Washington Capitals.
Given the owner's previous comments about achieving brand continuity, I wouldn't expect the Johnny Canuck logo, or a drastic change in design. We're very much likely to be stuck with the stupid corporate Orca Bay leftover, or a full-time switch to the stick-in-rink retro style jerseys that are highly overrated.
As much as I look forward to a new clothing swap, and sharing public washrooms with stinky alpha-male jackoffs, I'm amazed that 18,000 of my fellow citizens would choose to go down to GM Place, simply to see new uniforms being unveiled. Why not just see the results on the internet three minutes later?
Ryan Kesler, the player ex-Flyers GM Bob Clarke once thought was worth a jaw-dropping $1.95million offer sheet last summer, has signed a 3-year deal with the Vancouver Canucks with very little drama involved.
Kesler, 22, appeared in 48 games for the Canucks last season, recording 16 points and 40 penalty minutes. He missed the last 34 games of the regular season due to a hip injury, but returned for Game One of the Western Conference Quarter-Final against Dallas. Kesler suffered a hand injury in the game that ended his season.
$1.75 mil/season seems like a lot for a player who averages a point every three games, but it's important to note the context:
1. You couldn't expect a player like Kesler to accept too drastic of a pay cut, now that he knows other teams value him quite highly.
2. Kesler is only 22 years of age. Power Forwards and tall forwards tend to take longer to develop, and Kesler still has the best years yet to come. It's better to pay big for the projected performance of his next three seasons, rather than overpay for past performance.
Kesler has already proven that he will be, and is, a fine penalty killing forward that plays well in the trenches. With the Canucks struggling so much for offense, it will be important for Kesler to make the leap and provide some playmaking genius.
There is reason to be skeptical, however, given Kesler's true talents and need to add more bulk to his wispy frame. Kesler had the label of 'offensively-challenged' when he was drafted, and hasn't shown the potential to make the leap from checking center to 2nd line center.
Still, even with the downside, the Canucks came away with a fair deal with not too much risk involved. There is a good chance that Kesler can make the leap to 35-40 points next season, barring any more freak injuries.
For reasons not quite known for Johnny Q. Public, Naslund struggled to score, looked disinterested all year, and was far from the Canucks best player despite being very well compensated.
"I know I can play better," Naslund said as the Canucks cleaned out their lockers and said goodbye for the summer. "It wasn't a lack of effort, I wanted to do well. It just wasn't there.
"I know I can do better, that's the bottom line. I'm proud of what I do. I want to show I can still perform. I'm going to come back and prove that I can play better."
It just wasn't there?
There has been plenty of speculation as to why Naslund's play was so poor this year: An injured shoulder, displeasure with Alain Vigneault's system, working hard to be a defensive-minded forward, missing his special pal Bertuzzi, fatigue, boredom, etc etc ...
Naslund's body language, play, and quotes suggest an injury of some sort. Instead of firing off his laser-like wrist-shots, Naslund resorted to the (unusual for him) slap-shot on the Power Play. In fact, he just wasn't shooting the puck nearly as much, as his shots per game dipped from 3.26 to 2.71, his lowest average in almost a decade.
When it came to battle for the puck in the trenches, Naslund wasn't quite there. Naslund looked tired, deflated, and not all that speedy.
Given his large salary and no-trade clause, it's likely the Canucks are stuck with him for another season. Hopefully, he'll shake whatever ails him and return to prominence as one of the leading scorers in the league. As much as his defense improved, the Canucks can't afford to have Naslund fiddle around as a merely 2nd line winger.
Roberto Luongo took last night's loss very hard. While most of the guys had finished showering and had put their suits on, Luongo was still in his stall with his equipment on, just sitting there.
He did everything he could to keep his team in the game, and he was beating himself up about the final goal. He was watching the ref because he thought there would be a penalty or stoppage for the injured Hansen, and the next thing he knew, the puck went by him. However, unlike goalies of the past, the Canucks fans will not be blaming him for the loss.
This was Luongo's first playoffs, and I don't think anyone could say he disappointed. He stood on his head night after night and did everything short of scoring goals on the other net to keep his team going. He was nothing short of heroic many games and showed us what a real goalie could be. He is also not content with his current skills; he plans to work on himself in the offseason and get better at handling the puck. Also, off the ice, this is the guy who gave his sticks away at the end of the games to the kids in the crowd. Luongo is what an athelete should be.
GAA: 1.77 Save Percentage: 94.1%
Unbelievable!
We'll see you next year Louie, and we look forward to another playoff run.
For a team that was on the verge of being booted out of the playoffs, the Vancouver Canucks didn't show a lot of fight as they went down to the Ducks by 2-1 in double overtime.
The Ducks, smelling Orca blood, outworked and out-shot the Canucks by a wide margin (63-27), putting the Canucks out of their misery and on to the golf course. The score simply doesn't do the disparity in play much justice.
Apart from Roberto Luongo, who made 56 saves, and the fourth line, who scored the Canucks' only goal, the team put forth a rather shameful effort in the face of possible elimination.
Once again, the Canucks failed to score on a 5-on-3 Power Play. They were 0-for-6 on the night with the man-advantage. I've never seen a Canucks team, let alone any NHL team, look so hapless on the Power Play as the Canucks did throughout the entire playoffs.
I've heard a lot about the Sedins not being fast enough to succeed in the playoffs. I feel that is a lot of rubbish, seeing as Trevor Linden did well despite his lack of speed. If the Sedins actually increased their effort level, they would be fine.
Chris Pronger set up Sean O'Donnell, of all people, on a breakaway. Good thing that defensive defensemen suck at breakaways, because O'Donnell's shot was about as dangerous as tapioca pudding.
Ducks blogger Earl Sleek has been signing the praises of Samuel Pahlsson as the true master of defensive forwardness, and I'd have to agree, based on this series. Much of the Canucks suckiness on the PP can be attributed to Samuel Pahlsson's effective PK ability.
Backup Dany Sabourin started the first OT period for the Canucks, giving the Canuck Nation a collective heart attack. Fortunately, Luongo's 'equipment malfunction' was fixed soon enough, and he was back in the net.
All in all, the Ducks were simply the better team, and the Canucks didn't take advantage of the chances that they did have with the man advantage.
Looking back, the Canucks can be proud that they achieved what they did in a 'rebuilding' season. With a new coach, goaltender, and system in place, the Canucks turned from a non-playoff team into a really competitive squad that could give any team fits.
The Sedins do everything together, including water aerobics, eating ice cream, buying condos, and cycling the puck in the offensive zone.
The Sedin twins are known for having some kind of psychic connection on the ice, and they have rarely ever been apart, save for penalty-killing situations.
Well, desperate times call for drastic measures, and it seems the twins will probably be split apart for Game Five:
"Obviously, they have played so well together all year long, they have been our best offensive players, but right now in the playoffs, except for maybe Game 1 and Game 7 of the Dallas series, they haven't been as good as they have been all year long," [coach] Vigneault told the Vancouver Sun. "They seem to be skating in quicksand on different nights. I know they want to do well and they want to be the go-to guys, but right now their game is not as good as it was during the season."
Not quite as good? That's quite understating it, don't ya think?
Henrik Sedin: An amazing 71 assists and 81 points in 82 regular season games compared to 2 assists and 4 points in 11 playoff games. Henrik's slap-pass on the Power Play is far too predictable and he's not having much luck connecting on his feeds. His team-worst -6, playing mostly head-to-head against opposing checking lines, is downright awful.
Daniel Sedin: Led the Canucks with 84 points in 81 games, but has just 5 in 11 playoff games. He actually leads the NHL in playoff shots (48), but has been snake-bit and also generating fairly low-quality chances. He needs to get to the front of the net more often.
The real issue is that the Sedin's can't or won't kick their game into another gear. While a guy like Trevor Linden is noticeably working harder and hitting anything that moves, the Sedins are cruising around at the same speed and intensity that they were in the regular season.
That just won't do ... so, maybe this wake-up call will do something. It has to, or the Canucks are finished.
Pyatt, tall, dark and handsome, has emerged as a playoff star along with Trevor Linden.
But apparently his performance on the ice isn't the real reason he's a star.
"He's a good-looking guy," gushes Danielle. "He's got pretty-boy eyes."
A local sports blog lays it out in block letters.
"TAYLOR PYATT IS THE HOTTEST VANCOUVER CANUCK IN THE HISTORY OF HOTTEST CANUCKS!" according to the pinkseats.com, which also claims that Pyatt is single and rumoured to have a girlfriend
Ugh! Never mind that the guy has the IQ of a block of cheese, or is softer than an oreo dunked in milk for 20 minutes, he's just so ... dreamy!! OMG!!
Dating back to the day of Pavel Bure and Kirk MacLean, Canucks fans seem rather attracted to attractive people.
An average looking bloke like Alexander Mogilny? He wasn't so popular. The babyfaced Sedinbots? They aren't revered as they might be elsewhere. Dan Cloutier? The girls were all over that!
If you wanna be popular in Vancouver, you better be pretty, boy!
After a frustrating and ugly win in Game Two, the Canucks' fans suffered through a similar kind of game. Only this time, the result was a defeat; A 3-2 loss to the no-longer-Mighty Ducks.
While the Canucks outplayed the Ducks and managed to draw eight different Power Play opportunities, the Canucks managed to score just once with the man advantage, and truly failed to make the Ducks pay for their lack of discipline. Even Naslund's Power Play goal was rather fluky, and certainly didn't give the Canucks the kind of confidence boost they needed. The PP for the Canucks is now 4-for-58 in the playoffs, and is costing them far too many winnable games.
The Ducks? They make it look so damn easy! They get five power plays, and score twice! The second, from Corey Perry, gave the Ducks a 3-2 lead they never lost.
"I thought five-on-five we were good again, but the difference was obviously special teams," [Canucks coach] Vigneault said. "Theirs were better than ours. It was a tight game and we had some chances at the end, but couldn't get it done."
The Ducks have certainly looked beatable in the past two games, with the Canucks outworking the Ducks at even strength. Once the Power Play stats? *psssssssst*, the air goes out of the tires.
How can a team screw up TWO 5-on-3's, as the Canucks did, and expect to win any playoff games? Yes, Anaheim has a fine PK unit, but the Canucks make it easy on them when nobody is driving to the net. When Corey Perry scored his PP tally, there was a Duck with his feathered behind right in front of Luongo's face. J-S Giguere is getting off far too easily.
What's the solution? Henrik Sedin on the point? Bad idea! (What was Vigneault thinking?) Bench the Sedins on the Power Play? That might work. If Anaheim puts their top PK unit on the ice to start off, why not hold back the Sedins until the second half of the Power Play, when Anaheim has an inferior unit on the ice? It's something to consider.
How excited are you when your NHL team unveils a new uniform and/or logo?
Ryan Kesler, the player ex-Flyers GM Bob Clarke once thought was worth a jaw-dropping $1.95million offer sheet last summer, has signed a 3-year deal with the Vancouver Canucks 
It was a great season for the Vancouver Canucks, 
Roberto Luongo took last night's loss very hard. While most of the guys had finished showering and had put their suits on, Luongo was still in his stall with his equipment on, 
For a team that was on the verge of being booted out of the playoffs, the Vancouver Canucks didn't show a lot of fight as they went down to the Ducks by 2-1 in double overtime.
The Sedins do everything together, including water aerobics, eating ice cream, buying condos, and cycling the puck in the offensive zone.
Vancouver, which bills itself as "Hollywood North", is a pretentious city where the citizens highly value good looks and the newest fashions. 
After a frustrating and ugly win in Game Two, the Canucks' fans suffered through a similar kind of game. Only this time, the result was a defeat; A 3-2 loss to the no-longer-Mighty Ducks.
