FanHouse WheresMyTater

Where's My Tater? tracks the slow starts of notable sluggers who are taking their sweet, sweet time leaving the yard.

In the very first edition of this series, I singled out Troy Glaus for his sudden penchant for knocking doubles off the outfield wall instead of poking homers over the wall. Well, he finally got his first home run of the season on Sunday night, a two-run shot in the fifth inning that put the nail in the coffin for the Astros in a 5-1 Cardinals win.

Ironically, Scott Rolen, the man Glaus was traded for this winter, also hit his first dinger for the Blue Jays -- a solo shot in the first inning that helped set the tone in a 5-2 win for the Jays. Unlike Glaus, Rolen has an excuse for waiting nearly a month until hitting his first home run of the season: he broke his finger in spring training and didn't play his first game of the season until Friday.

If Rolen keeps up his "one homer for ever 11 at-bats" pace, he'll hit 45 dongs this year. Meanwhile, if Glaus keeps up his "one homer for ever 89 at-bats" pace, he'll finish the year with six. Inevitably Rolen will fall off and Glaus will heat up, but it's still fun to play with numbers.

Also breaking their homer cherry this weekend: Wes Helms, Kaz Matsui, Tadahito Iguchi, Akinori Iwamura and Michael Cuddyer.

Where's My Tater? tracks the slow starts of notable sluggers who are taking their sweet, sweet time leaving the yard.

Just hours after the very first post in this series, Jacque Jones and Troy Tulowitzki announced to the world (through their actions, at least) that they want no part of this undistinguished club.

Jones knocked a solo shot over the outifeld wall in the third inning against the Rangers, breaking a 5-5 tie to give the Tigers a lead they'd never relinquish. His power set a good example for the rest of his teammates, as they proceeded to simply unload on the hapless Rangers pitching staff, putting 13 more runs on the board to cap off a 19-5 victory.

Jones hit only five home runs in his one-year stint with the Cubs last year, but the Tigers are hoping he'll revert back to the guy who averaged almost 25 hitters the three previous years. (update: see the comments -- I am a lazy reporter who accidentally short-changed Jones one year in Chi-town). It's still an uphill climb -- he's slugging a career-low .340 at the moment -- but Wednesday's game was a baby-step in the right direction.

As for Tulowitzki, I'm guessing he was a bit more motivated by Tuesday's benching than being called out by some random guy on the internet. Whatever it was, he finally started swinging the bat like he did for most of last season, even if it was only for one at-bat: he finished the game 1-for-4 with three RBI. While he won his personal battle with the number zero, his team still lost the game, falling 7-6 to the Cubs.

Where's My Tater? tracks the slow starts of notable sluggers who are taking their sweet, sweet time leaving the yard.

The Cardinals were supposed to be a train wreck this year, but someone forgot to tell them: they're sitting pretty right now, second in the Central with the third-best record in the National League.

Troy Glaus has been a big factor, getting on base, smacking extra-base hits and driving in runs. Any sane fan of the game would be happy with his production ... but if you look at his stats, something just seems wrong: he's homer-less. He may be on pace for 72 doubles, but there's something comical about a projected stat line of .268-0-97.