FanHouse Archie Manning

It was, apparently, Manning Day in Mississippi on Tuesday (no, not that Manning Day). The state Senate and a slew of legislators even stopped working -- no big deal in these pleasantly profitable times -- to honor the Manning family for their wonderful contributions to the state.

Archie Manning and Eli Manning were both there, accepting awards as former quarterbacks at Ole Miss. Not attending? Peyton Manning. Why? Because he was playing golf with Tiger Woods, obviously. AP reports:

As the Detroit Lions gird up their loins to hit the field of battle on another turkey day, they face quite a daunting task. No team in the history of the NFL has ever lost 16 games in the regular season. That's probably because they only play 16. You have to be a really, horrifically brutal football team to finish 0-16, which is why no one has accomplished that feat before.

A peek at the Lions schedule from here on out shows their task. Any win for an 0-11 team would be an upset, but this is a stout group left on the docket for Detroit. They play the Titans (10-1), Vikings (6-5), and Saints (6-5) at home, while traveling to face the Colts (7-4) and the Packers (5-6). The most winnable game would seem to be Green Bay, but beating the Packers in Lambeau on December 28th isn't an easy task for a team used to the indoors.

Simply put, I think the Lions are going 0-16. I actually have for quite some time.

Let's examine their profile against some of the worst teams in NFL history (Super Bowl era) to see where they might rank.

No one knows the joys of fatherhood better than another father. At the same time no one knows the pains of watching your child struggle like a fellow parent, which is why Archie Manning reached out to Dan Grossman this week. Dan is the father of Rex Grossman, perhaps the only quarterback in football who is more maligned than Archie's younger son Eli.

"We met Dan and Maureen (Rex's mother) when the boys were in college. Dan and I still communicate."

Those have got to be some of the more maudlin exchanges handled by the good people of AT&T. It would make for a pretty decent commercial about cell phones dropping calls though.

Archie: Hey Dan! It's Archie Manning.

Dan: Hey Archie. So glad you called. Rex is going through another one of those tough spells. His mom and I are just about out of ideas about how to cheer him up.

Archie: Just tell him to keep his head up and keep plugging. Things will turn around soon.

Dan: Yeah, just like they have for Eli, right? (laughs)

(long, uncomfortable pause)

Dan: Archie? Archie? I was just kidding, man. Eli just had one bad game.

(another long pause)

Dan: C'mon Arch, it was just a joke. I'm sure he'll do better this week. And at least you guys have Peyton.

Remember kids, dropped calls are just as painful as dropped passes.

Every time I turn on the TV it seems impossible to not see a new Peyton Manning commercial. I know that Peyton is one of the top paid advertisers in all of sports but I will admit that he needs to stop doing the DirecTV commercials. They are horrible! However, there are some good ones out there. I've put together a small collection of some of my favorites. I have embedded videos at the bottom of the page, so refer to the number and you can view them.

1. This is Peyton's newest Sprint commercial. I find this one pretty funny. He is dressed up in a disguise talking about Sprint's new NFL mobile. At the same time, he is referring to Peyton Manning as if it isn't himself. Question is: Since when did Peyton sign with Sprint?

2. This one seems to be pretty recent also. It is put out by the NFL and it features all 3 of the Manning's'. I don't usually laugh at commercials but I actually did when I first saw this one. It's my favorite.

3. One of the Master Card Ads from last year. It's funny but it got old after seeing it for the 100th time. CUT THAT MEAT!

4. Another Master Card ad. Funny also but got old. D-CAF!

Peyton, you're an amazing player, but let's keep it to that.

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