FanHouse Atcarlosquentin

The image to the right is of White Sox slugger Carlos Quentin's leg breaking off at the foot and spraying the clubhouse with his highly-pressurized, inner goos.

The word around orthopedic circles is that Quentin may need to wear special, theraputic shoes to correct leg-to-footal inaccuracies and keep him off the disabled list. You can't hear "guy needs to wear special shoes" and go to any other joke, so do not expect me to make that here. Instead, what follows is an empassioned discussion about gel inserts, and how they make the bottom of your feet feel great but squish the top of your foot into the top of your shoe.

This morning's Dugout is after the jump.

There is no greater time than the beginning of baseball season, especially when you write for a sports blog and you happen to be so beloved by the Christian God that he manipulates the happenstance of professional sports to make your feature better.

That's exactly what happened today, when the Kansas City Royals opened up their season in Chicago against the White Sox. If you don't know what happened, allow me to set the stage. The White Sox and Royals were supposed to open the season on Monday, but the conditions weren't perfect and the stars weren't aligned, and a bitter cold forced them to postpone the game for a day. The Royals were up 2-1, but when the White Sox came up to bat in the eighth... well, I'll let you read about it, because hahaha

The 2009 Dugout Season starts tonight, after the jump.

Last Tuesday, I voted for the first time in my life. And hey, all political leanings and arguments aside, you know what's going to be nice? Having a confident man as President. I don't care if he comes to my door and smashes my belongings with a hammer and sickle, if he goes on TV and looks like he means what he's saying I'll call it a push.

Obama has appeared in one other Dugout, but we didn't give him the celebration strip he deserves. Tonight's unapologetically moderate Dugout is after the jump.