FanHouse Bobby Johnson

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is, be still my beating heart, my coaching crush Mike Leach. As if it weren't enough that he went on "Friday Night Lights" -- spoiler alert, I have to wait until January to watch the show because I don't have DirecTV -- after the loss to Texas A&M, Leach blamed the loss, partly, on the players' "fat little girlfriends." Given the status of bingo wings in Florida, Urban Meyer should file this excuse away. It's much better than blaming the flu for poor performances.

Not to be outdone, as reader Chris V. e-mails, "There is now a website up selling apparel at fatlittlegirlfriend.com.

Outstanding.

Was Vanderbilt's 2008 football season an aberration?

The Commodores recorded three victories over ranked opponents for the first time in program history, recorded their first postseason victory in 53 years and enjoyed their first winning season since 1982. With 19 returning starters overall, an established defense and a change of philosophy on offense to the no-huddle, Vanderbilt is determined to prove last season wasn't a fluke.

Taylor Stokes dreamed of playing football at Alabama for Bear Bryant. Instead, he enrolled at Vanderbilt in 1969 as the school's first African-American scholarship football player.

After three seasons, Stokes let his rancorous feelings about football and social slights affect him and he abruptly left school. His experiences left him so embittered he couldn't drive West End Avenue near the university for many years.

In an unlikely turn of events given his history with the school, Stokes walked across the stage in Memorial Gym last Friday and received his diploma. Those few incredible seconds capped a remarkable 40-year journey of new-found spirituality, inspiration and perseverance.

As hierarchical as I-A college football is (indeed, much more so than any other American sport), nowhere is the caste system writ larger than in the SEC, where the good stay good, the bad stay bad, and Phil Fulmer stays comically overweight. Were EPL-style relegation ever to be implemented, you may rest assured that no more than two SEC programs would ever be in danger, and we're lucky enough to meet them both again today (plus a few new friends!).

After the jump, the four teams without a prayer of going .500 in the SEC in 2008...