FanHouse Charlie_hustle

This new site design is pretty sharp, huh? As far as I can tell there are two rounded edges on the entire page. Gentlemen, if you forgot to shave this morning, feel free to just rub your face against the monitor. Fewer scrolls, less irritation.

In the spirit of aesthetic progress, I've decided to provide screen shots of the five major incarnations of The Dugout through the years. Read them after the jump.

This is Bud Selig.

This afternoon's Dugout is after the jump.

Earlier today, the higher-ups at the Cincinnati Reds baseball club decided to satiate their fanbase with what was essentially a Dear John Bench letter explaining why the team's efforts have failed despite the organization doing everything right.

What they didn't tell you on the website is that the President and Chief Executive Officer of the Reds read the letter to the masses from high atop the ballpark, and that it wasn't enough. This really happened. Stop looking at me like that.

This morning's Dugout, chronicling those events, is after the jump.

Let's just get his over with.

Seriously? This was on ESPN's MLB front page all day today and I still couldn't bring myself to read the entire thing. Hell, I barely read any of it. I watched the video they supplied for a solid minute before the clutter on my desk drew my attention. It honestly is the stupidest non-story I've ever seen on ESPN. Not to mention that the picture they used makes Pete look like one of Walter Matthau's butt cheeks. Bad all around. But hey, it's a text-based conversation between two Dugout stars. What am I supposed to do, cover the red hot Phillies? Moyer please.

I have missed quite a few of my spots in recent weeks(alright, all of them) so this is an extra stupid Dugout. Feel free to spend the three minutes you were planning to read it with to choke down a bit of Tom Friend's article. Because it sucks.

Prerequisite: BlackDraft™ Part 1

The ESPN ticker for the mock Negro Leagues draft as it stands:

Round 1

1. New York Yankees - Cool Papa Bell (CF)
2. Washington Nationals - a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, which are pretty much the worst kind of Dorito
3. Chicago White Sox - Buck O'Neil (1B)
4. Boston Red Sox - David Ortiz (DH)
5. New York Yankees - Manny Ramirez (LF)

Upcoming picks

6. Cincinnati Reds
7. Detroit Tigers
8. Kansas City Royals
9. New York Yankees
10. New York Yankees again

Round 1 continues, after the jump.

Yesterday, we learned that Ken Griffey paid off his debt to Josh Fogg in American pennies. Maybe Griffey lost a bet. "Hey, Ken! I bet you won't lug $1500 in pennies into my locker to pay off a bet (the one I am currently proposing to you right now)!" That's right. A nested, self-swallowing bet.

Sorry, didn't mean to make your head explode.

On the bright side, your face might be on a penny someday!

Okay, I'm done. Today's Dugout is after the jump.