FanHouse Cunningstults

Andre Ethier does not want to take a picture with you. According to the Internet, Andre believes that people would use the photos against him on the Internet. He goes on to blame the hard economic times for making people want to do this. How many baseball players have felt the sting of a fan photo getting out, where an overweight lady (or whatever) is seen standing next to them while they are on the field in their baseball uniform? Did you see how happy she was? I bet they're dating! I bet he was out with her at Dodger Stadium, canoodling instead of playing baseball!

As a person on the Internet, it is now my duty to talk about this. This morning's Dugout is after the jump.

Manny Ramirez is in the news again for saying... well, I don't know. I haven't had a chance to make the news rounds yet, but I'm going to bet Manny spoke to reporters long enough to tell them that Jamie Hoffman or whoever has severe mental retardation and is therefore "not really a person," and how Manny should be starting in his place, suspension or no. Then two days later Manny apologizes, and we forgive him, because he is really, really good at baseball.

I find it a lot easier to forgive Manny Ramirez on the internet, where his sociological problems can be explained away as childlike innocence. Other things I enjoy doing on the Internet: making grown up millionaires talk like messed up babies, and posting today's Dugout, which is after the jump.

Hey, I just got online for the first time in a week. Were you aware that some things happened in baseball this week? Apparently, slugger Manny Ramirez was trying to get pregnant (or something), and now he's going to miss fifty games because of it! I should really check my Fantasy Team more often.

Daily Dugout updates begin again today. Sorry for any inconvenience. I'm also sorry for whatever inconveniences you run into reading tonight's Dugout, after the jump.