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When did the Rays sign J.J. from Good Times?

The Tampa Bay Rays (neé Devil Rays) are the biggest question mark in the AL East. We know that Boston is going to do well. We know the Orioles are going to be terrible. We know the Yankees are going to seem unstoppable when the season starts, fall into, like, third place sometime in early June and make everybody freak out, the Steinbrenners are going to start threatening people, and they'll be fine and at the top of the division by the end of the year. We know the Blue Jays will exist (?). The Rays, though... who knows what the Rays are going to do.

Tonight's Dugout, which might be about the Blue Jays (I don't know), is after the jump.

"Mr. Longoria! Do you think that the 2008 Rays are the 69 Mets in disguise?"
"I don't know, but do you want to see my impression of the 2007 Mets?"
"Sure!"
"/collapses"

Cinderella's glass slipper has broken. Snow White is comatose and being cared for by dwarves. Gaston is trying to stab the Beast to death. Whatever your comparison, the Rays have hit a snag and are down with one crucial injury after another with only a few games keeping them on top of the division. The baseball world watches with anticipation to see if the team can hold together and overcome the odds.

What are the Rays going to do? Who will fill those holes in the lineup? Can you type on the Internet with a broken wrist? Do the Rays have anything to do with free agency? These questions and more (slightly more) in tonight's Dugout, after the jump.

From guest writer Mike Westfall of Progressive Boink:

This is my first spring living in Florida, and accepting the Rays as my new home team would be a lot easier if the local news didn't report so rosily about it. I'm used to the gloom and doom of Philadelphia, so I'm still trying to figure out whether they mean it in a sarcastic, "Aw, that's so cute," way or not, because it sounds like some of them really, genuinely think that this could be the Rays' year for - you know what? I don't even know what for. It's like the sports reporters are live from Bizarro World.

And the more I think about it, that would explain the Rays' excellent spring performance a lot, by actually treating March like it counts.

The boys from the Bay get ready for RAYPRIL®, after the jump.