I waited for the inevitable "Mets fan sells his fanhood on eBay" story after the second late season collapse in a row by the team. Instead, what we got was so much better. A memorabilia dealer wanted to get rid of a spare Aaron Heilman autographed baseball on eBay, but made no pretense as to its actual value ... he just wants it out of his sight. The listing reads as such:
I paid $40 plus $7.50 shipping for this garbage from Steiner Sports and sold them for $70 when no one knew he was a loser. Now Steiner is selling it for 50% off at $39.95 just to get rid of them also. (...)
For the 1st person to buy this signed baseball- I will give you the following:
FREE SHIPPING!! AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOSE REYES AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF BILLY WAGNER AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE ANOTHER DIFFERENT UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE STILL ANOTHER DIFFERENT UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE IF MY FAMILY LETS ME, I WILL GIVE YOU MY DOG, KIDS, AND GOLDFISH. I WOULD GIVE YOU MY WIFE BUT THAT MEANS YOU ARE BUYING TWO THINGS THAT ARE WORTHLESS AND THEN YOU WILL REALLY HATE ME.
Aaron Heilman: Ending marriages since 2006. And yes, someone bought it. No word as to whether the winning bidder is getting a dog, some kids, and some goldfish in the deal (not to mention his wife), but he will also get to go to a Mets home game next season as part of the deal. With his luck, Heilman will blow that game too.
Patrick Johnson is an OMG shirtless cornerback recruit out of Miami. He's supposed to be the second coming of Deion Sanders, and we mean it this time**. As far as eBay listings go, Johnson's is bare bones. He's billed as an "Elite 08 CB Prospect Pledge to Highest Bidder!".
I'm a little nervous about offering a bid as the seller lists his condition as "used". I suspect he's got some scar tissue in a knee that needs to get cleaned up and my program just might not have the patience to wait that out as we'd want him on the field right away.
On the upside, Johnson's write-up says he was the winner of the 2008 USA Today Defensive Player of the Year Award. He's also got this working for him: "he can run fast, jump high, and shut down half the field". You know, that's a hell of a sell job. On second thought I think we gotta put in a bid. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment I must retrieve my credit card.
Looking for something to buy that Red Sox fan in your life for Christmas? Has your local memorabilia store run out of Papelbon jerseys, and you're at a loss for what to do?
Don't worry, my friend, for I have found the perfect gift for any Red Sox fan.
But why do that when you can give a sentimental gift that keeps on giving Manny Ramirez game-used underwear. Size Large. Of course.
Phil Castinetti of SportsWorld in Saugus has gotten his mitts on a rather large collection of All-Star undies and he's selling them on eBay.
It's seems too good to be true, but it is. You can bid on them right here.
There's also a worn do-rag of Manny's that Castinetti has put on sale as well. Of course, if the scent of Manny's nether regions don't do it for you, there are other players available as well.
Jason Varitek's underwear sold for $255 but that's no where close to what Matt Clement's tighties sold for: $430.
The buyer's ID was Clement30 so Matt either has himself a stalker, or he just paid a lot of money for his own underwear. Sorry, No Photos
You know how the Cleveland Plain Dealer showed their readers the ill-fated "Indians win the ALCS!" story that was never needed? Well, here's another kick to the collective Northern Ohio groin: you can still bid on Indians World Series tickets on eBay. As SPORTSbyBROOKS points out, there are five auctions still running, including this one:
CHECK OUR 100% FEEDBACK!!!!! BUY NOW...WHY BID AND LOSE?
ENTERTAIN YOUR CLIENTS OR FAMILY WITH THESE GREAT INFIELD UPPER SEATS
Yeah, I'm sure your clients and family will really love you for making them sit in the cold, empty upper deck of Jacobs Field, quite possibly the most depressing place on the face of the earth.
Matt Murphy, the fan who caught Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball, is finally about to cash in on his 15 minutes of fame. He still hasn't officially decided whether he's going to sell the ball yet (riiight, just play along, ok? he's enjoying the suspense), but he has decided to put up some other very important and valuable pieces of memorabilia from that night: his dirty Mets jersey and his baseball cap. From eBay:
This is the real Jersey I wore at the Giants game while catching the famous Barry Bonds career 756 ball...I have not washed the jersey. There is a picture of me holding the Jose Reyes jersey that I wore to the game. There are several ketchup stains on the front as well as back illustrated in the pictures from being on the ground of At&t park figthing for the ball. This is the real Jersey, I will be putting the hat that I wore to the game up for bid also. There are a lot of fakes floating around......i promise you this is authentic. For me to autograph the jersey will be at the buyers request.
When did this happen? I thought people only wanted to buy game-used jerseys from athletes, not fans. I guess it might be a unique consolation prize for someone who can't afford the ball, but would a hard-core Bonds fan really want a Mets jersey hanging on the wall of their den?
The Chicago Tribune reports that minor league catching instructor Tommy Thompson is hawking his ring, which was given to him by the team after they won the 2005 series against the Astros. The opening price was $2,500, but as I write this there have been 26 bids to bring the price up to $9,263.
Are the White Sox not your team? That's okay, because a quick eBay search reveals a 2004 Red Sox World Series ring and a 1997 Florida Marlins World Series ring also for sale. The winning bid on the Red Sox ring is currently a cool $35,000 with just under two days left, leaving you just enough time to get that second mortgage and place a bid by the weekend. As for the Marlins ring, the next bid will the first, but you can get the action started with "just" $9,999.
Anyone who's looking to drop some serious coin on jewelry for someone other than your trophy wife is advised that you can get a 2005 Texas national championship ring inscribed with "Young" on the eBays:
This isn't actually Vince Young's national championship ring -- it was issued to former 'Horn offensive lineman Terrance -- but your friends don't have to know that unless they're the sort of "intelligent" friends who will ask you "why would ultra rich Vince Young need to sell his national championship ring?" and you're probably better off without those sorts of people in your life anyway. The seller explicitly endorses such deception:
Only Vince, Selvin and Terrance had the YOUNG name on their rings, and it is highly unlikely that you will be seeing Vince or Selvin's rings surfacing in the foreseeable future. Safe to say that this is as close to Vince Young's 2005 National Championship ring as one could ever hope to acquire.
Bidding nears 10k in case anyone is interested in dropping the yearly salary of 1,000 Bangladeshis on some serious bling.
If you're sitting at home wondering where you can get 300 pairs of used Clemson football and baseball pants -- and you totally are -- wonder no more. The EBays have your back:
1 Lot of Used Clemson Tigers Game Pants (300 pairs)
You will be bidding on 1 Lot of Used Clemson Tigers Game Pants (approximately 300 pairs). There are approximately 235 pairs of football pants and approximately 65 pairs of baseball pants in a variety of sizes. Some of these pants might be torn or need repairs but most look to be in fair condition. These pants were turned in by Clemson University.
[/ebays]
So there you go. To the Bowdens, the EBays giveth (approximately $280 dollars according to the latest bid) but as Bobby well knows, the EBays taketh away (Florida State offensive "coordinator" Jeff Bowden's job). Such is the power of the EBays.
Mark Redman made his Braves debut on Saturday, giving up three hits and a run in three innings against the Blue Jays in Orlando. It's a good thing Mark Redman finally found a job, his life was taking a turn for the worse as he obsessively monitored the web trying to figure out which team would finally sign him.
"I'm so sick of ESPN and MLB.com and FoxSportsNet.com and SI.com," Redman said. "No offense, you guys do great coverage and everything. But I tell you what, my eyes hurt from looking at those computers so many times."
I can see it now, Mark Redman lands on the DL with eye strain. Maybe he'll wind up getting some advice on corrective lenses from Jayson Werth like Pat Burrell does.
His daily search always began with MLB.com, which he has set as his home page. Because so many of his searches proved futile over the past four months, he's now joking that he should begin his days with something that provides him a little less stress.
"I turn on my computer and the darn thing pops up MLB.com," Redman said. "I should have it on eBay or something."
You think eBay is less stressful? Are you kidding me? Mark, you don't know stress until you're staring down an eBay listing for a cheese toast with Jesus' face burnt into it with 2 minutes left and you're in a battle with someone with a high speed connection and you have dial up. I've lost many a cheese toast that way. Less stress? May I suggest a website about kittens?
I waited for the inevitable "Mets fan sells his fanhood on eBay" story after the second late season collapse in a row by the team. Instead, what we got was so much better. A memorabilia dealer wanted to get rid of a spare Aaron Heilman autographed baseball on eBay, but made no pretense as to its actual value ... he just wants it out of his sight. The listing reads as such:
Looking for something to buy that Red Sox fan in your life for Christmas? Has your local memorabilia store run out of Papelbon jerseys, and you're at a loss for what to do?
You know how the Cleveland Plain Dealer showed their readers 
These days, you don't have to be a player, manager or 
Mark Redman made his Braves debut on Saturday, giving up three hits and a run in three innings 
