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Beware the Dugouts of March: The Minnesota Twins' 2009 Preview

Here is everything you need to know about Minnesota: they have the biggest mall on Earth, it is negative thirty-eight degrees in the middle of July, nobody would ever want to go there, and their baseball team is next up for the AL Central leg of our The Dugout Spring Training Event.

We started it off yesterday with the Detroit Tigers, so give that a read if you haven't yet. And check back tomorrow when we cover the Royals and the White Sox, and it's all really biased because I am an Indians fan, and the closest I will come to "winning" is insulting people anonymously on the Internet.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

Wahoo! Messenger: 10 Little Indians Part 2



Don't believe his lies. Ketchup is 1000% Rudo.

Earlier this afternoon we began our two part exposé on the Cleveland Indians with 10 Little Indians Part 1, a literate essay regarding the damage and anguish these athletes put their bodies and families through to entertain us. No longer just the national pastime, baseball can not be enjoyed on any reasonable level and must be deconstructed minute-by-minute to absorb and exploit any minutia hoping to escape unsaberly-metricked.

After the jump, part 2 of 2. While you're waiting for it to load, please buy The Dugout brand t-shirts. All proceeds go toward serious journalism.

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