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Latest Gotmeonmyknees Stories

The Dugout: Dontrelle Willis Returns

In case you've been living under a rock for the past 17.2 innings, Dontrelle Willis is back. That frenetic, majestic delivery of his, which you see to the right, was a piece of Major League Baseball canon when he pitched for the Marlins. It was as Bob Gibson as one can get in this decade.

To understand the real-life resurgence of D-Train, I strongly suggest you read Andrew Johnson's piece. To understand his place in the history of The Dugout, I suggest you read our Wikipedia entry. Good Lord, I'm glad he's back.

Your battle rap of a Dugout is after the jump.

Beware the Dugouts of March: The Detroit Tigers' 2009 Preview

After a disappointing 2008, the Tigers are aiming for a slightly less disappointing, but still disappointing, 2009 season. They just need a focused, distraction-free Spring Training to get back on track. Now if, say, Magglio Ordonez elected to exercise his right to free speech by endorsing a controversial head of state...

Whoops! Political controversy is afoot! Nothing kills a party faster than a layman's political discussion. In fact, it even managed to ruin their Spring Training Dugout, which is after the jump.

The Dugout: Just A Box Of Rain



With Hurricane Gustav hitting the coast recently and Hurricane Ike using Great Aether on a bunch of Texas, we were bound to get horrible weather throughout the United States. Thankfully rain delays are only slightly more boring than the actual game of baseball, so when there's no real news to be had one can make fun out of what they have. I was lucky enough to have the White Sox and the Tigers in the same place when the doubleheaders started getting scheduled.

Additional Dugout Universe notes:

- If you haven't already, don't forget to read Mike's article about his trip to Tropicana Field over at Progressive Boink.
- Dugout T-shirts are still on sale, and can be worn over the head like a thin hat to guard you from rain
- In lieu of a better archiving system, you can now click most players' photo for an easy link to their Fanhouse tag, where you can read all of the other Dugouts featuring that player.
- Tonight's murky Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout: Gary Sheffield Gets Told

Normally, when a player spouts off nonsense and his manager is asked for comment, said manager will offer something like, "I just don't know what to say," or "he's entitled to his opinion," or something else deflective and insubstantial.

Not Jim Leyland. You rarely see a manager turn around and give his player the business like this. Gary Sheffield probably isn't a moron -- we all say stupid things when we're bored and navel-gazing -- but Leyland sure made him look like one.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout: Full Circle



With all due respect to Pudge Rodriguez, nobody should give a crap about Pudge Rodriguez because the Bull of the Woods Kyle Farnsworth has been traded. It is the job of The Dugout to continue preaching the gospel of Farnsy, from his promising days as a rookie in Chicago to Detroit and Atlanta to his Golden Era in New York, and now back to Detroit, and then inevitably back to Chicago in a year or two and then the minor leagues. And then his house? We'll go back to Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College if we have to.

The fact that they traded Farnsworth for Pudge is an important part of Dugout lore, because it was the Farnsworth v. Pudge showdown in the 2003 playoffs that birthed the concept later illustrated and perfected in the Jeter/A-Rod Saga and made a regular thing on Wordupthome.com. Now we get paid to do what we love (making baseball players curse at each other), and it's all because of Kyle.

NOTICE US KYLE WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU. Somebody tell Farnsworth about this shiz before we go crazy. The most important Dugout of the year is after the jump.

The Dugout All-Stars in: BlackDraft? Part 2

Prerequisite: BlackDraft™ Part 1

The ESPN ticker for the mock Negro Leagues draft as it stands:

Round 1

1. New York Yankees - Cool Papa Bell (CF)
2. Washington Nationals - a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, which are pretty much the worst kind of Dorito
3. Chicago White Sox - Buck O'Neil (1B)
4. Boston Red Sox - David Ortiz (DH)
5. New York Yankees - Manny Ramirez (LF)

Upcoming picks

6. Cincinnati Reds
7. Detroit Tigers
8. Kansas City Royals
9. New York Yankees
10. New York Yankees again

Round 1 continues, after the jump.

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