Mark Teixeira's debut for the New York Yankees was an 0-for-4 affair that was blamed on the unusually harsh Baltimore Orioles fans that felt betrayed by the guy who spent 8 years saying he wanted to play in Baltimore, then went to play directly AGAINST Baltimore for like 200 dollars more a year.
We're a month and a half into the season now, but Teixeira is still playing every game like Prop Joe is in his ear, yelling about how he is greedy and low, in the Dickensian sense. When will he snap out of it? No, I'm asking you. He's on my fantasy team and I'm in 20th place in an 18-team league.
We at The Dugout are not finished kvetching over the Yankees' abandonment of their old stadium. Sure, building a new stadium makes long-term financial sense, but I'm not sure why that should stop me from whining. I am going to stand on a milk carton and shriek, "THE YANKEES ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY" over and over for the rest of my days until I die friendless and alone.
In what amounts to pretty much the only interesting sports story of the day, Joe Torre has taken it upon himself to write a tell-all book dismissing his former ballclub like so much prostate cancer.
In the book, Joe reveals that Alex Rodriguez is a weird creep, Brian Cashman isn't 100 percent on the level, and George Steinbrenner cares more about the "Yankees" than he does about the people who make up the Yankees. The title of the book, if you're interested in reading it, is Things We Already Knew*.
Nothing says "the holidays" like a feature on a blog on the Internet the day after Christmas! I missed out on posting yesterday because of "life stuff" (I had to observe a holiday) but hey, better late than never, right?
Part three of our Life on Mars epic continues. Your prerequisites are as follows:
I'm getting sick of this. The sports media world has their own Elite Liberal contingent and they're dead-set on running the name of the New York Yankees through the mud. Everywhere you click it's "the Yankees spend too much money" on this, and "the Yankees spent too much money" for that, and "Sabathia has enough money to float in the river and declare himself a sovereign nation."
Somebody on this site needs to make a stand. The Yankees are a baseball team like everybody else. Just because YOUR team can't do what they do doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to do it. Hey Royals fans, if you woke up tomorrow morning and the Royals had given 200 million to Mark Teixeira and 200 million to Manny Ramirez and signed five pitchers and got ready to destroy the AL Central next year, wouldn't you be the happiest people on Earth? Of course you would.
This morning's Dugout sets things straight and explains it all, after the jump.
It's not easy being CC Sabathia. He's the most scrutinized object in the baseball world these days, he's apparently going to be pitching in New York next season, and Brian Bahr of Getty Images photographs him as he sleeps.
The guy needs a vacation. Or maybe even a permanent secession.
Our last dugout, The Dugout presents Yankee Refocus Giant-Sized Annual #1, was one of our most critically acclaimed of the FanHouse era (by "critically acclaimed" I mean "nobody told us to get a real job"). One of the complaints we've gotten since joining up here is that our stuff is too esoteric and tangential for the mass audience and that our specific kind of esotericism is nerdy as balls and offputting to even the remaining niche audience. The Yankee Refocus Dugout was in the spirit of our Progressive Boink Dugouts, straight-forward jokes and a ton of hyperbole about how the Yankees are gay and rich. It's what works.
So, in the spirit of continuing that upward momentum, here is a Dugout about Eri Yoshida, the first woman drafted into the Japanese professional baseball league, done in the nerdiest way I could imagine. If you spent most of the mid-90s looking for a Suncoast video to buy original language track versions of anime TV shows on VHS, you will probably love this. If you are not one of those 18 people, you will hate it. Sorry, this is the only way I know how to cover the story.
Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
Update: New content added 11/19 Update 2: Well, okay, just a little bit
Great, now we're getting to that point in the offseason where every news update is about how the Yankees are "interested in" the big free agents and how some guy from some network interviewed them and they totally said they'd love to play for the Yankees, and on and on and blah blah blah. We've been doing this comic long enough to know the two great truths about the Yankees, and they are presented to you in chatroom form below.
Have the Yankees considered getting new uniforms? It works for everybody else. Maybe they can get a mascot. Make him a vague, shaggy grey thing named "OPS the Dog!"
In 157 games last season, Mark Teixeira hit .308 while smacking 33 home runs and collecting 121 runs batted in. At age 28, he figures to be entering his prime. He is one of the better defensive first basemen in baseball, and his switch-hitting ability makes him a fearsome addition to any lineup.
Anyway, this isn't who the Yankees got. The Yankees got Nick Swisher and some dude named Kanekoa Texeira. But still, isn't Mark Teixeira awesome?
Just when Jason Giambi was becoming one of the more likeable Yankees, he goes and does something stupid like not live up to the forty billion dollar club option left on his contract. Tisk tisk.
He did steroids, admitted it (kinda), and still got to doff his cap in the final game at Yankee Stadium. That rules. I guess that's all I really saw in the guy.
Mr. Giambi and Carl Pavano both had their contracts extinguished by the Yankees yesterday, as the club options left on each of them were pricey to say the least. Giambi would have been given $22 million and Pavano $13 million, both far beyond what either can expect to make testing the waters of free agency. The front office in New York said that it shouldn't surprise anyone, but come on. When have nickels and dimes stopped the Yankees from doing anything? I'm surpised if only to make the front office wrong.
So, good luck guys. I doubt either of you will ever matter again.
Mark Teixeira's debut for the New York Yankees was an 0-for-4 affair that was blamed on the unusually harsh Baltimore Orioles fans that felt betrayed by the guy who spent 8 years saying he wanted to play in Baltimore, then went to play directly AGAINST Baltimore for like 200 dollars more a year.
We at The Dugout are not finished kvetching over the 
In what amounts to pretty much the only interesting sports story of the day, 
I'm getting sick of this. The sports media world has their own Elite Liberal contingent and they're dead-set on running the name of the New York Yankees through the mud. Everywhere you click it's "the Yankees spend too much money" on this, and "the Yankees spent too much money" for that, and "
It's not easy being 
Our last dugout, 
Great, now we're getting to that point in the offseason where every news update is about how the Yankees are "interested in" the big free agents and how some guy from some network interviewed them and they totally said they'd love to play for the Yankees, and on and on and blah blah blah. We've been doing this comic long enough to know the two great truths about the Yankees, and they are presented to you in chatroom form below.
Yes, Yankee fans, 
Just when Jason Giambi was becoming one of the more likeable Yankees, he goes and does something stupid like not live up to the forty billion dollar club option left on his contract. Tisk tisk.
