FanHouse Harris Smith

Plaxico Burress is going to have quite a grasp on the inner workings of the legal system after these next few years. Not only is he facing a term behind bars for the whole "Harris Smith" debacle, now he's being sued for allegedly injuring a woman in a car accident back in May.

Alise Smith, 27, says the New York Giants wide receiver rear-ended her on Florida's Turnpike in Tamarac. Smith's lawsuit filed in Broward Circuit Court seeks more than $15,000 for medical bills, lost wages and damage to her car.

"Ms. Smith, who wearing a seatbelt, was rear-ended by Mr. Burress, who failed to maintain a safe braking distance, maintain a proper lookout or to exercise reasonable care," said Gregory Dell, Smith's attorney. "All of this was the cause of this accident and Ms. Smith's resulting injuries."

This is nothing compared to his New York trouble, actually. It sounds like he was simply an irresponsible driver, which puts him in the company of about, oh, 65 percent* of the licensed drivers in America. Furthermore, the 15 grand is small potatoes to Plax. I'm guessing if this is all she really wants that she has a legitimate complaint and he'll simply pay her off quite soon to get it out of the way.

*not a scientific study

New York-Presbyterian Hospital gave New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress special treatment when he showed up with a gunshot wound early Saturday morning, breaking the law by failing to report the injury to police and by filing fraudulent paperwork that referred to him by the name Harris Smith.

But it turns out that at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, giving celebrities preferential treatment -- while ordinary people suffer in the waiting room -- is just standard operating procedure.

NFL.com is widely known for some pretty stringent practices regarding what customized jerseys it will allow to be made. For instance, you most certainly cannot make a "Ron Mexico" jersey. No how, no way.

The newest name on the computer's banned list? "Harris Smith," Plaxico Burress' Applebee's alias (and an early runner for "2009's Most Widely Abused Fantasy Football Team Name"). At least that's what NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told Central Main Sports in response to their "Why can we still purchase a Rae Carruth jersey?" question.

"There are a number of jerseys that fans may not order online, including the ones you cite below (Michael Vick, Harris Smith, Ron Mexico, Lawrence Phillips). Those names are blocked immediately by a computer program which (unfortunately) is not all inclusive and may miss names from time to time. So a fan could type in names on the screen which would make it appear that he/she could purchase it. However, if a fan followed through with an order and attempted to purchase the jersey of a player like you named, we would catch it manually and would not make the jersey or ship the order. The fan would receive a notice that the order would not be fulfilled. Bottom line, you would not be shipped a jersey with the names you cited (Rae Carruth, Art Schlichter, OJ Simpson)."

So, yeah, the NFL is pretty lame AND predictable. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that it shouldn't really matter whatsoever if you want to put a convicted criminal or a fake herpes name on the back of your jersey that costs $200 freaking dollars to order. And I'm not even the poor, real Harris Smith who just wants a No. 17 Giants jersey.