FanHouse Indianapolis Colts

So Dick Jauron is available to paint your house this weekend if you need somebody. The Buffalo Bills have relieved Jauron of his job as their head coach, effective immediately. And while there's nothing on Jauron's resume that's going to cause anybody to mix him up with Vince Lombardi, the other Bills news of the day makes me wonder if the man really ever had a chance.

The news of Jauron's firing comes on the same day the Bills apparently decided to give Ryan Fitzpatrick the starting quarterback job over Trent Edwards (presumably because neither Rob Johnson nor J.P. Losman answered his phone). And while we all certainly wish Fitzpatrick well, let's get real. This quarterback decision is that of a team that has no real quarterback. And when you don't have a real quarterback -- a reliable, stud, franchise-type quarterback -- well, that's when people's careers end.

PHILADELPHIA -- Brian Westbrook did not practice with the Eagles on Wednesday, nor did he talk about why. His coach, Andy Reid, said Westbrook would practice Thursday and that the reason he was held out Wednesday was his ankle, and not the concussion he suffered in the team's Oct. 26 victory over the Redskins. But if you buy that, I've got a South Philly bridge to sell you, too.

The ankle is a red herring. Westbrook's ankle is a chronic problem, for which he's had surgery, and his ankle probably hurts every day. They can put him on the injury report with an ankle problem anytime they want, and nobody's going to bat an eye. This thing with Westbrook is a case of a player, concerned about his own personal future, taking it slow amid a culture that's only starting to embrace the danger and seriousness of concussions.

INDIANAPOLIS -- You expect the Colts to throw, and throw a lot, but even for Peyton Manning and his band of merry, pass-happy men this was a little bit nuts. Indy ran nine plays -- eight of them passes -- in the first two minutes of the game, averaging one every 14 seconds, completely disregarding the play clock and leaving their star offensive players more than a little bit tuckered out.

"I wouldn't call it fun," said tight end Dallas Clark, who caught 11 passes in the first half and 14 -- for 119 yards -- in the game. "When you run 60 plays in the first half, you're going to feel that on Wednesday and Thursday. But the win makes it feel a lot better."

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All of a sudden, there is another big-name free agent on the market. According to an ESPN report, the Dallas Cowboys released Terrell Owens late on Wednesday night, meaning that the moody receiver will soon be searching for a new home (or, I suppose, retiring).

There are plenty of teams -- including at least one in Dallas' own division -- that need help at the wide receiver spot, but at what point do all of T.O.'s shenanigans catch up with him and prevent him from finding a franchise willing to gamble on his ability? Chances are, not just yet. So then the question becomes: whose uniform will Owens be wearing when the 2009 season begins? There are 10 (OK, technically 11) possibilities after the jump.

I was at a museum bar this past week, playing some pool with a buddy when golf came up in the conversation between us and our playing competitors.

One of the guys, slightly inebriated, lambasted me with this theory – Tiger Woods is killing the PGA Tour.

No, there were no bigotry in his voice, he didn't care if Woods was black, white or the color of Paula Creamer's golf ball, he just believed that the onslaught of Tiger fans has brought down the competitiveness and interest of a regular PGA Tour event.

At first I thought this guy was a complete moron. I hit my pool shots, had a sip of beer and mused over the idea that the best thing to ever hit golf could somehow be bringing it down? Hogwash, I thought.

It didn't hit me until Saturday afternoon, on the golf course for my lemming-like weekend tee time, when I realized this guy might be on to something.

Maybe Tiger is killing the tour. No, he isn't killing golf, he's turned a sport reserved for higher class businesspeople into a global phenomenon. He's changed the pot-bellied golfer into a gym rat. He's merged two types of golfers, the one that bombs it off the tee and the one that chips and putts well around the greens, into one golfing freak. He's brought mock turtlenecks, Nike Golf, the first pump and red on Sundays to our regular conversation.

Tiger has changed golf, which is obviously clear.

With that said, has he killed the PGA?

Just to ease any concerns you have about Tony Dungy returning to the sidelines next year. It's official ... The Dunge back.

"Obviously, you want to come back. You want to defend the title. We've got such a great group of guys, that that's eventually what draws you back every year," Dungy said in advance of the NFL Scouting Combine. "I wouldn't say it was an easy decision, but it was the right one, and it didn't take overly long to make."

Obviously, that's great news for Colts fans ... if Dungy hadn't come back, the Colts might have had to do something insane like ... oh, I dunno ... hire Norv Turner.

All told, a pretty nice off-season day for Colts fans. Dwight Freeney gets the franchise tag, so he's around another year. Tony Dungy announces he's coming back, so that's nice. And a chief AFC rival hires Norv Turner, essentially saying, "Nah, you go on ahead to the Super Bowl. We'll sit this one out."

When the Patriots started winning Super Bowls, analysts started trying to figure out how they were doing it. And after a while, they reached a consensus. The front office brought in guys who might not be all-around great football players, but were great for one specific role. They were all hard-working, dedicated guys who had no problem with their role as just another cog in the machine.

And now, the Colts have won a Super Bowl ... and I'm taking it upon myself to figure out how they did it. What kinds of players do they bring in? Here's what my independent research has found. The Colts front office specifically targets Bible-thumpers with a desire to be recording artists.

First, it was Peyton Manning and Kenny Chesney writing love songs together (you have to try really hard to see the connection to religion, but it's there). Then, it was Ben Utecht and his desire to be a Christian rocker. And now, punter Hunter (that rhymes) Smith actually already is a Christian recording artist. Smith's group, Connersvine, has signed a deal with INO Records.

"Winning the Super Bowl has been one of the highlights of my life and career. It is completely humbling that God has allowed me to not only be a part of an amazing football team, but also is giving me the chance to pursue His calling in music." shares Hunter Smith. "I feel just as strong of a call to worship leading and ministering through music as I do in football."

This is just getting ridiculous. Are there any Colts out there who aren't religious zealots with a desire to sing? Is it a prerequisite for being a Colt? At the NFL Combine, do the Colts send their scouts to get 40 times, medical histories, and ask about Christian music aspirations?

Gracias, again, With Leather.

Colts tight end Ben Utecht wishes to (finally!) merge the worlds of professional football and Christian music. Utecht is heading to Nashville this off-season to chase his dream of becoming a Christian recording artist.

I've never heard Ben Utecht sing, and my Christian music collection isn't quite as extensive as it could be (does God's Son count?), so I don't know what kinds of songs he sings. But I hope there are songs in his catalog entitled "Beelzebub, Much Like Todd Pinkston, Won't Go Over the Middle," and "Jesus Makes John Henderson Look Like a Sissified Punk."

Between Utecht and Tony Dungy, the Colts are the Godliest team in the NFL ... and given that the NFL is such a copycat league, it would not surprise me to see Mike Holmgren and Marvin Lewis become ordained ministers this off-season. I also think you'll see Ray Lewis become the champion of this league.

Michigan lawmakers have proposed "Tony Dungy Day" in Michigan to honor the Colts head coach who just won a Super Bowl. Dungy, who grew up in Jackson, Michigan, is the first black coach to win a Super Bowl, as well as the first black coach to win a Super Bowl while wearing a sweater vest, a lanyard, and a mock turtleneck.

I support Tony Dungy Day. His accomplishment is worth celebrating, there's probably not much else going in Jackson, Michigan, and these things are largely ceremonial ... it's not like the government stops everything else to begin their Dungy worship. Throw a parade, give him a plaque, exchange a few high-fives, and call it a day.

They haven't set a date yet, but I'm already trying to plan how I'll celebrate it personally. In honor of Dungy, I'll probably just walk around that day and thank God for everything that happens ("Dear Lord, thank you for the invention of dog toothpaste, because my dog's breath really used to smell bad," and "God, we humbly thank you that the bathroom at this 7-11 was reasonably clean"), and watch a rerun of Will and Grace with my middle finger pointed at the screen.