FanHouse Jasonthompson

Freaky Friday in NOLA. The greatest point guard in the world -- Chris Paul. A festive atmosphere, the home opener for the Hornets. Tyreke Evans, rookie point guard for the Sacramento Kings, had a big challenge ahead. Never mind he was coming off an underwhelming debut Wednesday in Oklahoma City. For the 20-year-old wolf in wolf's clothes, this was the proverbial uphill battle.

And though it didn't end with glass slippers or even confetti, Evans proved he belongs in the NBA.

FanHouse previews all 30 NBA teams in advance of the 2009-10 season.

Every season, the NBA is filled with a few abjectly awful teams. These squads trudge through their affairs, offering spirit in infrequent spurts while otherwise counting down the days until summer vacation. You take bad players and strip their motivation, their energy ... and it's ugly quickly.

And somehow, the Kings were even worse than that.

ESPN.com reports the Blazers have agreed to give Dallas the No. 24 pick, the No. 56 pick and a 2010 second round choice to move up ... two spots, to No. 22. The Kings sit at No. 23. I think it's safe to say Kevin Pritchard has his eye on a player he thinks Sacramento also covets. I wouldn't be surprised if said player was Israeli forward Omri Casspi, who had a marvelous workout in Sactown a few weeks ago.

This would be trivial if Pritchard didn't pull the same move last season. The Kings picked No. 12 last June, with the Blazers at No. 14. Coveting Arizona guard Jerryd Bayless -- who had been reported to be at the top of Sacramento's wish list -- Pritchard worked up a swap with Indiana to move up to No. 11. The silver lining for Kings fans is that Bayless barely got off the bench while Jason Thompson shone.

As teams get eliminated from the 2009 NBA playoff picture, Fork 'Em figures out what went wrong.

(Man, how long has that fork been in dude's back? Looks rough.) The Kings have not been above .500 since December 4, 2006. Officially eliminated from playoff contention earlier this week, Sacramento hasn't been able to put together a winning streak of even two games since the second week of November. The Kings boast (boast?) the fifth-worst defense of the modern era. To date, Sacramento has racked up an 0-24 record against the East.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. What went wrong? What went wrong?! Wrong question, Holmes. Everything went wrong.

When assistant coaches have to pick just nine rookies and nine sophomores for the Rookie Challenge to be played on All-Star Friday, it's likely that a good player or two will be left out. Big names (Greg Oden) earn deference, bit players on good teams (Rudy Fernandez) get a bump in recognition, and sometimes the snubs and their associates feel a little spurned.

Maybe the most biting comments came from Kevin McHale, who coaches a fairly high-performing lottery pick in Kevin Love. For his part, Love called the vote "bulls---" and said it inspired a 17-point, 10-rebound performance against the Pistons. McHale, donning the attitude of a CIA interrogator, started asking questions.

NBA Essentials provides the must-see links, quotes and videos of the day.



* DANA DON'T BRING BAGELS! -- Sactown Royalty

* "As far as I know, this is the 1st acting job Michael ever landed. It is a video that some North Carolina medical students did to raise awareness of Heart Disease. I just shortened the vid, so you can see MJ in all his 1983 greatness. By that I mean, his North Carolina accent is palpable. "Eat the right Foood" - NESW Sports

* "I rebounded like Dennis Rodman, wiped sweat off the floor like a janitor, and handed out water like the waterboy Adam Sandler. I was a ballboy for the Utah Jazz." -- Page 3 (via TrueHoop)

* "It is all a bit odd. Why does Lebron want to be the world renowned chalk slapper anyway? His new shoe even has a silhouette of his chalk toss on the toungue. Well that's just awesome. Can't wait to buy some Nike Chalkman branded clothing to show off to my friends." -- NBA Mate (slightly PG-13)

Five feature films now playing in the NBA, Detroit's two point guard experiment and Sasha Vujacic is Chris Paul's ... "buddy?"

Oddly, not Travis Outlaw nor Lamar Odom or even Raef LaGiantExpiringContract have been the most spilled names on the rumor rags. It's been all Brad Miller, all the time. From "sure deals" in Miami to Charlotte to Cleveland to Chicago and nearly all points in between, the Big Redneck is getting more ink than ever. Meanwhile, he's had a mediocre season on a worse-than-mediocre team ... and he is "blocking" Kings bright spot Spencer Hawes from playing his natural position.

Reggie Theus promoted Hawes to starting power forward before being fired; Sam Amick of the Sacramento Bee crunches the numbers. The result? In extra minutes with (theoretically) better teammates, Hawes has been worse. Why? It's assumed the positional switch -- Hawes is a natural center -- has hurt the kid.

Fellow youngster Jason Thompson is a true power forward, and probably belongs in Hawes' spot. But the real fix -- the smart fix -- would be for a Miller trade to upon up spots in the starting line-up for both Thompson (affectionately known as "Shock" due to his surprising lottery selection) and Hawes. The franchise needs to know whether the pair will work out going forward. As it is, the duo has gotten precious few games opportunities to work together. Miller's good enough that he'll be missed by the other Kings (namely Kevin Martin). It's not quite addition by subtraction. But it'd clear one fairly major problem, and hopefully some '09-10 cap space. Think of it as the Mike Bibby trade, part two.

Mikki Moore has a lot to offer the hotblooded fan: his story is one of incredible perseverance and self-sacrifice, his body is electric with passion, and he's generally hilarious -- from the soundbite to the guttural yelps of glee to the fantastic "Double M" celebration after a big play. (For months, local fans thought the hand signal to be a gang sign.)

But Mikki Moore is not an incredible basketball player at the NBA level. He runs well in transition, has a sharp 18-foot set shot and knows how to take a charge. And that's about it. Consistently, he ranks among the worst power forwards/centers in rebound rate. Moore had 46 blocks in 2,400 minutes last season. Spencer Hawes has nearly that many this season in a quarter of the minutes. Moore also has turnover problems (a lobster would catch the ball more frequently near the rim) and scores only on a rare putback or when he is ridiculously open at the elbow or baseline. Basically, he's Eddy Curry without the post presence or the bowl full of jelly.

Sacramento struggled mightily with Moore at the starting power forward position. Hawes has played amazing basketball, given expectations. Reggie Theus fears for his job, and his bosses have made youth development a priority. Moore is 33 years old. Hawes is 20. Theus benched Moore last week.

The Los Angeles Lakers, 11-1, eeked out a 10-point home victory over the now 5-10 Sacramento Kings, still missing talisman Kevin Martin and sixth man Francisco Garcia. The Lakers led by 19 early in the fourth, but the Kings stormed back against L.A.'s second string to pull with four points before Phil Jackson reinserted Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol and Derek Fisher to finish the game. All of this caused Kevin Ding of the Orange County Register to ... argue that the Lakers' second unit is better than the Kings' first team.

There's plenty to guffaw, but Ding's description of a hypothetical Sasha Vujacic-John Salmons face-off shows the most promise.

One thing the NBA has too many of: swingmen. The D-League is littered with shooting guards and small forwards good enough to play in the bigs, and you'll find most domestic players who end up taking a European payday fall in the swing positions. It is a bountiful position.

The Kings currently have one healthy non-rookie swingman. One. Francisco Garcia strained his calf in the preseason, and will be on the sidelines another week at least. Quincy Douby (a failed point guard, now an Eddie House-style two-guard) twisted his ankle early in camp and has only been back long enough to re-injure himself.

Most recently, Kevin Martin sprained his ankle hard in Sunday's win over Golden State, and he'll be out 7-10 days.

That leaves starting small forward John Salmons and the rawest rookie of them all, Donté Greene, as the only swing players left.