A lot of stories are coming out of the American League Championship Series this year. Alex Rodriguez has shunned his one major downside -- an inability to deliver in the clutch -- to destroy everything in his path. Joba Chamberlain is pitching out of the bullpen for fear that his presence will summon a collection of animals that will be the Yankees' downfall. And, most importantly, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are turning into Mr. Bean every time the game is on the line.
Tonight we switch gears and spotlight the OTHER championship series going on between the Angels and Yankees. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
Jeff Bennett is notable for two reasons. First off, he's the unfortunate subject of the most unflattering photograph ever taken (see image right). Second, on Wednesday, he sucker-punched a dugout wall, broke his left fifth metacarpal, and returned to the mound to pitch another full inning.
The fracture didn't seem to adversely affect Bennett's performance. Which begs the question: how many times have you thought, "wow, I sure am glad I have a fifth metacarpal behind the pinky finger of my non-dominant hand! What a wonderful skeletal feature!" I never have. What a worthless bone.
Mark Teixeira's debut for the New York Yankees was an 0-for-4 affair that was blamed on the unusually harsh Baltimore Orioles fans that felt betrayed by the guy who spent 8 years saying he wanted to play in Baltimore, then went to play directly AGAINST Baltimore for like 200 dollars more a year.
We're a month and a half into the season now, but Teixeira is still playing every game like Prop Joe is in his ear, yelling about how he is greedy and low, in the Dickensian sense. When will he snap out of it? No, I'm asking you. He's on my fantasy team and I'm in 20th place in an 18-team league.
The season ends, and I get depressed. But the offseason still needs Dugouts, so I bust "A" and work hard to find stories and interesting situations for Dugouts throughout the offseason, when no baseball is occuring and everything is heresay and conjecture. Five months go by and we've done 2,000 Dugouts about (essentially) nothing. We keep saying, "Man, I can't wait until the season starts, and doing Dugouts will be easier!"
Then the season starts. Suddenly, it is three weeks later and we've been sitting on our butts loving baseball. We turn to our left, see our computer, go "OH CRAP THE DUGOUT" and spend the entire season making up for the first month we missed.
Oh, and I almost forgot: tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
It's not easy being CC Sabathia. He's the most scrutinized object in the baseball world these days, he's apparently going to be pitching in New York next season, and Brian Bahr of Getty Images photographs him as he sleeps.
The guy needs a vacation. Or maybe even a permanent secession.
With all due respect to Pudge Rodriguez, nobody should give a crap about Pudge Rodriguez because the Bull of the Woods Kyle Farnsworth has been traded. It is the job of The Dugout to continue preaching the gospel of Farnsy, from his promising days as a rookie in Chicago to Detroit and Atlanta to his Golden Era in New York, and now back to Detroit, and then inevitably back to Chicago in a year or two and then the minor leagues. And then his house? We'll go back to Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College if we have to.
The fact that they traded Farnsworth for Pudge is an important part of Dugout lore, because it was the Farnsworth v. Pudge showdown in the 2003 playoffs that birthed the concept later illustrated and perfected in the Jeter/A-Rod Saga and made a regular thing on Wordupthome.com. Now we get paid to do what we love (making baseball players curse at each other), and it's all because of Kyle.
NOTICE US KYLE WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU. Somebody tell Farnsworth about this shiz before we go crazy. The most important Dugout of the year is after the jump.
This year Anthrocon 2008 proceeded as planned in Pittsburgh and, again, a visiting team happened to cross paths with them at the hotel. And (oh man) according to The LoHud Yankees Blog (oh man), A YANKEES BLOG BY JOURNAL NEWS BEAT WRITER PETER ABRAHAM (oh man), the furries crossed paths with the New York Yankees. Furries and baseball was funny enough already and it didn't involve the protagonist of our project.
Today's Dugout, thanks to the great Dugout bat signal, is after the jump (oh man).
Over the last few days, Fanhouse has been buzzing with story after story about Pop Diva Mariah Carey's devastating gyroball and the effect it may have on the way the game is played in the States. Not since Roger Clemens did steroids and one-two'd it by cornholing the New Nashville Sound have the world of sports and music come together so hilariously. If you haven't watched the video, please do so.
And look at that picture over there. Mariah can't even go to a BASEBALL GAME without looking like that.
Today's Dugout is the spiritual successor to the Mariah Carey Gets Married iVoice we did for the Village Voice. In that strip, Mariah returns home from vacation married to young rap star Hip Hop Harry. After the jump, Mariah switches from bears to... well, what's the opposite of a bear?
The Major League Baseball draft is only two weeks away, and, as Josh Alper reported earlier this month, the league is holding a ceremonial, voluntary draft of Negro League players before the actual draft begins. The idea is to honor the accomplishments of the guys we still have and throw a little money their way, and while that's nice enough, Jon expressed via (real live copy and pasted) Dugout our general malaise and disappointment. You shouldn't honor the Negro Leagues like this. You should honor the Negro Leagues by buying a big jacket with all of the teams' logos on it. All of them at once. I don't like any specific team, I just like the Negro Leagues!
Well, the official chatroom of Major League Baseball (that's us) couldn't let baseball have a fantasy draft without doing one of their own, and presented today post-jump is part 1 of the completely legitimate shoot conversations that went on during said draft.
Not featured: Joe Torre drafting Satchel Paige and then cutting him for being too flamboyant.
A lot of stories are coming out of the American League Championship Series this year. Alex Rodriguez has shunned his one major downside -- an inability to deliver in the clutch -- to destroy everything in his path. Joba Chamberlain is pitching out of the bullpen for fear that his presence will summon a collection of animals that will be the Yankees' downfall. And, most importantly, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are turning into Mr. Bean every time the game is on the line.
This seriously happens to me every year.
It's not easy being 
Last summer we were still making the transition to Fanhouse from our own site, and one of the last great stories of our G1 continuity was when the 
Over the last few days, Fanhouse has been buzzing with 
The Major League Baseball draft is only two weeks away, and, as 
