Andrew reported Monday that the young Mr. Harper is skipping out on his junior and senior years of high school in order to make himself eligible for the 2010 draft. On one hand, don't worry, because he's planning on earning a GED. On the other hand, worry, because he's going to miss out on the quasi-consequential stuff that every patriotic public school kid missed out on. The Great Gatsby, right? The green light, right?
You're lucky that it was just a Dugout! A bad driver and not even a Dugout, after the jump!
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
I learned how to play fantasy sports 10 years ago from my stepdad, who's been playing it since the days when rotisserie baseball didn't even exist. Back when he was a teenager, it was called Strat-O-Matic, a simulation board game that seemed more laborious than fun to me. Then again, they also had fun flipping baseball cards instead of preserving them.
One of the first things he ever taught me about veteran players was the basic tenet of: "Look on the back of the baseball card." Sure, there are outliers, but seeing career statistics is comforting, and can often tell you a lot about a batter's peak performance.
Starting Five is our wrapup of the previous day's baseball action, with a quick nod to what's ahead. You Oughta Know ... That it's awfully hard for K-Rod to earn his money if J.J. Putz isn't doing his job ahead of Rodriguez. For the second straight day, Putz had a rocky outing. He surrendered two runs in a touch and go eighth inning Sunday against the Marlins (the Mets still won the game) and followed that Monday by allowing four runs and taking the loss against the Pirates.
Putz gave up four consecutive singles during Pittsburgh's rally, and attributed much of his performance to misfortune.
"A couple hoppers up the middle," Putz said. "They hit groundballs; they just hit them to the right spot.
"There's not much you can say about that. There's a little bit of bad luck involved."
The image to the right is of White Sox slugger Carlos Quentin's leg breaking off at the foot and spraying the clubhouse with his highly-pressurized, inner goos.
The word around orthopedic circles is that Quentin may need to wear special, theraputic shoes to correct leg-to-footal inaccuracies and keep him off the disabled list. You can't hear "guy needs to wear special shoes" and go to any other joke, so do not expect me to make that here. Instead, what follows is an empassioned discussion about gel inserts, and how they make the bottom of your feet feel great but squish the top of your foot into the top of your shoe.
The White Sox experienced an awful Thursday. They were beaten 20-1, their most lopsided loss in history, by the Twins. Worse, their plans to acquire one of the best pitchers in baseball, Jake Peavy, were dashed. Things were so bad that I felt it appropriate to post a picture of a non-smiling Jim Thome. It took me a while to dig one up.
Friday's Dugout, specifically engineered to draw the ire of White Sox fans, is after the jump.
From the Windup is Matt Snyder's extended look at some aspect of America's pastime each Thursday.
With the recent news that Mark DeRosa is on the trade block and the White Sox have possibly landed Jake Peavy, junkies of major league baseball trade rumors got an early glimpse at what promises to be a very interesting July. It's far to0 early to know exactly who will be in the market for what -- or who can afford to take on temporary payroll in this economy -- but it's certainly fun to speculate. Let's do it.
The White Sox are off to a 15-18 start to the 2009 season, and that record is pretty misleading. The fact of the matter is that the White Sox have played a lot worse than their record would indicate. They're at or near the bottom of the American League in any significant offensive, defensive, or pitching stat that's kept. They were also shut out for an MLB-leading sixth time on Wednesday afternoon, and as Fletch mentioned it in the Starting Five on Monday, when they lose, they lose big. They've now been outscored 125-39 in their 18 losses.
So what's the reason for the team's lackluster play? Is it injuries? Maybe it's just the cold weather during the first few weeks of the season? Nope, according to Paul Konerko the answer is pretty simple. The White Sox just aren't that good.
Fletch already mentioned it in the Starting Five this morning, but on Monday night in Kansas City Zack Greinke was once again absolutely dominant in going the distance and pitching a shutout against the White Sox. It was the type of pitching performance that you couldn't help but enjoy watching, even if you happened to be pulling for the other team, as it was an absolute clinic performed with a surgeon's precision.
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said afterward that it was the best performance he'd seen from a major league pitcher in a long time, and I have to agree. I've seen Greinke make three starts this season -- twice on television, and once in person -- and I'm yet to see him surrender a run. However, I did see him strike out 27 batters while only walking three. It's the type of dominance I haven't seen from a pitcher since Pedro Martinez's amazing run from 1999-2002.
On April 16th, 1916, Ray Shook suited up for the Chicago White Sox ... or so they say. I invite you to take a look at his career statistics. If the statistics are to be believed, Ray Shook played one career game, but made zero plate appearances. To boot, he did not pitch, and he did not field. Perhaps he was brought in as a pinch runner at some point, or perhaps he never played at all.
Ray Shook is quite possibly the least consequential baseball player of all time, trumping even Moonlight Graham. April 16th was his day. He was celebrated. Then some jerk named Jackie Robinson got famous and had April 15th named after him. Shook was forgotten. To my knowledge, the only picture of him on the Internet is the one to the right, which I just drew in Microsoft Paint.
I hereby commence belated celebration for Ray Shook Day, and I encourage you to do the same by ... not playing baseball, I suppose. Today's Dugout is after the jump.
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.
Remember that time when Troy Glaus was eligible at shortstop? Yeah, that was awesome. Shoddy Chris Farley impersonations aside, roto-devotees will recall that Glaus had to step in for the Blue Jays for one measly game and was eligible the remainder of that year and the next.
Well, what if Nick Swisher was eligible at pitcher?
Bryce Harper is sixteen years old. Bryce Harper can hit a baseball so far that you would not believe how far he can hit a baseball.
Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the 
Starting Five
The image to the right is of White Sox slugger 
The 
The White Sox are off to a 15-18 start to the 2009 season, and that record is pretty misleading. The fact of the matter is that the White Sox have played a lot worse than their record would indicate. They're at or near the bottom of the American League in any significant offensive, defensive, or pitching stat that's kept. They were also shut out for an MLB-leading sixth time on Wednesday afternoon, and as Fletch mentioned it in the 
Fletch
On April 16th, 1916, 
